Unleashing the Power of Tiny Habits and Gratitude for Success with certified Tiny Habits Coach Julie DeLucca-Collins

Ever wondered why those lofty New Year's resolutions often end in defeat? Perhaps it's not about the big, audacious goals, but the small, consistent habits that inch us closer to the life and business we dream of. Join us for a captivating chat with Julie Delucca Collins, a sought-after business and life strategy coach who firmly champions the power of tiny habits. She weaves science and her personal journey together to shed light on why these seemingly insignificant actions hold the key to growth and success. With a wealth of practical insights, Julie guides us on how to integrate these habits into our daily routines effectively.

The conversation takes an introspective turn as we delve into the profound impact of gratitude and self-care on our path to success. We stress the importance of not just celebrating the home runs, but the tiny victories too, and the need for self-compassion when we falter. We explore the idea of daily 'trust deposits' - simple acts of self-care like staying hydrated or going for a walk that, over time, compound to steer us subtly yet surely towards our goals. Amid the hustle-bustle of life, this episode is a timely reminder to pause, appreciate the journey, and treat yourself with kindness. Listen in as we decode how tiny habits, peppered with a dash of gratitude, can indeed make a world of difference.

Chapters

• 0:00 The Power of Tiny Habits
• 10:27 Gratitude and Success Habits

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Great. Hello there, everyone, and welcome back to the Overcome Yourself podcast. As you know, my name is Nicole and I'm so excited to be here today with Julie. So, Julie, take it off and give us a quick intro. Let us know who you are and what you do, Sure.

Speaker 2: 0:19

Thank you so much for having me, Nicole. What a pleasure. I've been looking forward to our conversation. I'm Julie Deluca Collins. I am the founder and CEO of Go Confidently Services. I am also a podcaster. Casa de Confidence is my podcast. I am an author and speaker, but, more importantly, what I love, love, love, love to do is I am a business and life strategy coach. I am certified as a tiny habits coach and I use that framework to help my clients double their income, create the consistent habits that help them create the life and and business they love and become the CEO of their life and business. Mainly, I love that.

Speaker 1: 0:59

And one of the main themes of my book is those tiny habits, those baby steps that we learn to take that end up with compound interest right. And we look up and all of a sudden it's like oh my God, look how much I've got done just by implementing these tiny habits. That's how I taught myself to drink more water during the day.

Speaker 1: 1:19

It's how I'm working on posting more. You know, everything that I do is hot. What is the tiniest, simplest step that I can implement consistently to get this thing going? I love it and I'm so excited to have you so good. Well, yes, so talk to me a little bit more about tiny habits.

Speaker 2: 1:41

Yeah, you know one of the things that, like most of us, I had read all of the books out there. When it came to habits, I had been read atomic habits, the power of habit, and I just thought you know, this is really good. And when I got into the thick of things, I wasn't very successful, like why can't I stick to 66 days? Or I would find myself Googling how can I be more motivated. And then all of a sudden I met BJ Fogg. Dr BJ Fogg, who wrote tiny habits. He is a research scientist at Stanford University. He studies behavior design. So, unlike James Clear which, by the way, he wrote an excellent book James Clear is a great marketer and he is mostly someone that doesn't have. He took everybody's research and put this book together. But the one thing that sets tiny habits apart is that it's really based on brain science research. And what happens is and what Dr Fogg found is that in order for a behavior to happen right, we need to have three things the motivation, the ability and a prompt to do the three things. So if one of those is missing, it becomes very difficult. But the one thing that we can count on is that if something is very hard, motivation eventually leaves us, and we cannot rely on motivation to actually create the new behavior. So we have to rely on the ability and the prompt. And this is what tiny habit does is that you create something so tiny the new behavior you created in such a tiny, small way, and then you pair it up with an existing behavior that you have already. So, for instance, you talked about drinking warm water. That's one of my tiny habits and I will tell you.

Speaker 2: 3:30

One of the things that I do is I found the time in my day that I actually have an existing behavior. I let my dogs out in the morning. Every morning. They have to go outside without fail, otherwise I'd have problems in my house, right? So as I come downstairs to let them out, when I let them out, then I fill my water bottle with water. And here is the secret sauce of tiny habits we celebrate because our brain changes when we feel good. So when we celebrate, we're like, oh, I filled my water bottle. Most people would be like, well, julie, but you're not drinking water, but that my water bottle.

Speaker 2: 4:12

I am never unsuccessful at my habit of water because my water bottle is always. I set myself up for success because it's already full. Now, when I come to my desk, I sit at my desk and I chug some water and then I celebrate, right. And then what happens? Then I have to go to the bathroom at some point in my life, right? And when I go to the bathroom, I refill my water bottle. So those are my prompts to continue to do my habit throughout the day.

Speaker 2: 4:41

And that's the one thing that happens with tiny habits, then that you create the momentum for yourself by finding the times in the space in which there's already a prompt and existing behavior and you pair it up with your desire behavior. But you make it so tiny, so tiny that it's like, oh, it's silly not to fill my water bottle. I'm standing right here, right? Oh, it's the water bottles in front of me. It's silly not to drink it.

Speaker 2: 5:06

So what you're doing, that you're, you're always successful and you're creating that new neuro pathways in your brain that for the new habits take hold, and you're not relying on motivation. By the way, in the times that you drink, you look at that water and it's full, and I fill my water bottle and I just don't feel like drinking it. I'm still successful. I'm still successful, and those are the things that really help us to continue and I use that with my clients to create the behaviors they want so they can build the business they want, create the income they desire because, by the way, most of us want to make a living. But are you, do you want to make $100 or do you want to make $5,000 a month? And it's going to take a lot of behavior design for you to be able to create the actions. And I love to say that consistent action gets you attraction and that's one of the things that my clients do in their business.

Speaker 1: 6:00

I love that. I love that I actually have a chapter in my book that's called motivation is a lie. Oh, so good.

Speaker 2: 6:07

Right, right.

Speaker 1: 6:08

That's so excited when you started saying that because we misunderstand motivation. We think motivation is going to hit us out of nowhere. Inspiration that a light bulb goes off and you have a great idea, but the motivation is is like kinetic energy and it requires a catalyst. This is I'm quoting myself here and that is taking action.

Speaker 1: 6:31

And it's when we start taking action. And you know, it kind of like a, it's kind of like a paradox, but it's when we start taking those little actions and then that's the other is when we start celebrating, writing down our accomplishments or even, in the moment, just being like good job, you're going to laugh, nicole, you're ready for it.

Speaker 2: 6:50

This is how I celebrate my clients.

Speaker 1: 6:53

Oh yeah, you got it, you got it.

Speaker 2: 6:56

Right, like, did that not make you feel good? I celebrate at you and it's like oh okay, I got a put in my staff.

Speaker 1: 7:02

Yes, I love that. I love that so much. Then you said something else. Let me think back, because I got distracted. No, you're not gonna sell.

Speaker 2: 7:12

I just strutting with pom poms.

Speaker 1: 7:14

I guess I'm excited, right, okay, well, come back to it. So tell me a little bit about your journey and overcoming yourself, because that is the title of my book. Do you feel like you had to overcome yourself in this journey, and how?

Speaker 2: 7:29

I am still in the process of overcoming myself because, like most humans, I am a layered person and there was a time in my life in which I'm like, oh, only if I get here I have it all together. And then I got there and it's like, oh, I don't have it all together. So it's a process, I am a work in progress and that's the beauty of it. Right, because I actually did a TikTok about this today that the skills that we got to overcome yesterday's problems are not the same skills that we need to overcome today's challenges. And for many of us I have overcome a lot. Oh, my gosh, I think of the person that I was in my 20s. If I could speak to that girl and say, sweetie, you can't believe in yourself, you don't have to have the approval of others, you don't need to pretend that you're something you're not, and I've overcome a lot of that. But that doesn't mean that I don't have imposter syndrome, that doesn't mean that I don't question and second guess myself in the process of things. That's the human brain, that's our humanity, and our ability to keep going is how we continue to overcome and really dig a little deeper. You know, for instance, I in the past year, and I've been really open and honest about this.

Speaker 2: 9:00

If you had asked me, I don't know, 20 years ago, have you suffered trauma? I would have said, oh no, no, no, not me. I've been fortunate in my life, no trauma for me. I'm not a victim. But, nicole, I have trauma and trauma has been one of these things that I didn't realize what it was. I didn't understand, and in the past year I've been doing a lot of that work. I've been really one acknowledging that. It's their number two, holding space for the difficult emotions that sometimes in past terms and in a past area of my life, maybe I just ignored it, I pushed through, I tried to achieve the next thing and forget. I was feeling all that stuff. But really acknowledging some of that and knowing that it's there and then, you know, making friend with discomfort, right, and understanding that that's part of the process has been one of the biggest things that I've done. So I am a work in progress because with new levels there's new devils, right.

Speaker 1: 10:02

Yes, yes, and with every new level we encounter a difference, because imposter syndrome shows up in a lot of ways. It's not like a thing that happens, it's like an umbrella term for all of these things that we feel. And so with each level that we get to, there's like a whole new, like layer of the youth, a new layer.

Speaker 1: 10:24

I didn't even know I needed this. Referencing back to what you said before. What you were mentioning is what I call. It is making trust deposits, and it starts with you so doing those, like drinking your water, and every time that you do it, every time you fill up your cup. You know, I didn't even celebrate filling up my cup, so I am glad that you've given me that new perspective Celebrate, girl. Yes, you know.

Speaker 1: 10:49

Writing down getting 10,000 steps a day, or as much as I can, and if I don't have an embrace on myself and be like you know what, it's okay. You were really busy, whatever. And then tomorrow, and one of my other success habits that really helped me get out of depression anxiety I needed vitamins. Go to your doctors. I'm not saying that you don't need doctors. If you need to talk to someone, please do, because one of the things was a vitamin deficiency. But one of the things that I was able to do that helped me get to that and I call, you know, my success habits, my tiny habits. I call them my success habits is writing down gratitude three things I'm grateful for every day. Tell me what you think about that.

Speaker 2: 11:33

I'm sure you tell your clients that too, I do, and I actually I use a gratitude journal. I've been using that for a long time and I go through faces in which I will write the 10 things that I'm grateful for. Sometimes I just do three and sometimes I do none, and sometimes I go and I actually have a jar of gratitude and on the days in which I just have to take a deep breath, nicole, and say, hmm, wow, this is a tough day, you know, I am having a difficult time, then I will go to my jar of gratitude and I will pull something from that and I will be reminded of that moment. Maybe I was just grateful for the birds that were eating the bird seed I bought outside, or maybe I was grateful because I had an opportunity to speak to a family member that I don't speak to often. Whatever it might be, you know those things and I tried to really get into that moment and remember what that felt like, like, ooh that, the wonder of seeing my niece for the first time, or the conversation I had with my nephew. Those little things, you know that pull us along and gratitude really changes your brain. It increases happiness and for many of us, we take for granted the things that we have.

Speaker 2: 13:05

I've been so fortunate in my life that I've done so many different things, and I travel around the world. One of the most impactful trips that I've done, though, is going to Haiti. I served in a mission in Haiti. I've gone for a couple of years, and being able to come back to my home, you know, and think, huh, I am so grateful. You know my. I have a home that has indoor plumbing. I have a home that has heat. These are the gratitude moments that can remind us, you know, because we were always comparing and despairing, right? We're always seeing the Instagrammable moments that somebody else's has, and then we walked into our kitchen and you know, there's dishes, it's in the sink and like, oh my God, my house is not like that lady on Instagram that I follow, but, in the scheme of thing, thank God, my husband has shoes that he can live or leave around, and, thank God, I have a wonderful husband that supported right. That gratitude and finding the gift in every moment is the thing that we need to work towards.

Speaker 1: 14:08

I love that so much Learning to be even grateful for the things that kind of aren't what we usually think of like. I read this article once of this lady who would always get mad at her husband because he would leave his clothes on the floor but then he passed away. She was like I would give any we read the same article.

Speaker 1: 14:29

Yes, those clothes, I'm like falling and I'm like it's true. When you look at that, do you see a mess or do you see life being lit, because he was so busy trying to get to his kids that he just threw off his clothes to go play with them? And so, you know, gratitude, you said, changes our brains and it even changes our perception, the way we see things. You know, it changes those glasses. And then you also mentioned going through those uncomfortable moments. You know, and I've really learned that that's where the magic happens and that's where we got to bring in that gratitude to adjust the perception and the habits. It kind of all comes together right, yeah that's.

Speaker 2: 15:08

That's exactly the type of work that I love. And, by the way, people like oh you coach women in business, you teach him how to run their business. Sure, you could say that, but what I really work on are these components. That we're talking about is knowing that compounding effect of a 1% better every day, because, by the way, none of us show up knowing business 100%, none of us have it all together.

Speaker 2: 15:38

We made it up. We figure it out as we go along, as long as we give ourselves the opportunity to have a tomorrow to learn. But a lot of people end up, when it gets hard, giving up and not going the extra step, because sometimes it's not about going the extra mile, sometimes you just don't have it in you, but take that next step. That's what it matters.

Speaker 1: 16:05

Yes, and in those moments you know that's that's really what it is you take that step. You know, with ADHD, sometimes we have executive functions and then the dishes do pile up, you know, and it's doing grabbing one dish, just. You know you don't have to do it all at a time, absolutely One at a time. And you know what you mentioned about gratitude. You know my family's Cuban, my mom's side of my mom's family, I guess on my mom's side Cuban, and so, yes, you know we have so many. You know I remember growing up and my grandparents explaining to me like we didn't have this growing up. You know, even right now, you know, if you look at the pictures of cars from the 1950s, and so there is like this special place in my heart for just feeling gratitude for the things that even a lot of people that you don't even notice sometimes, you know.

Speaker 2: 17:00

I just wanted to mention. It becomes a whole different world. It becomes the white noise of life. It's, it's, you know we're. So we take it for granted that we're going to come in, turn the switch and there's electricity, oh hello.

Speaker 1: 17:15

Yes, even filling up our water bottles in the morning, yeah, just being grateful that we have the power to do that. We just turn on the faucet, we get some water and then we go about our days. There's places that we even have water, so even just bringing that in and being like just grateful. I'm grateful for my AC.

Speaker 2: 17:31

I live in Miami so I'm constantly by the way, I grew up in Miami. I went to high school in Miami. Yeah, I went to my middle. Oh yeah, where are you?

Speaker 1: 17:42

I went to well, I live close to the hospitals. Now to UM. I went to Southwest.

Speaker 2: 17:49

Okay, my first husband graduated from Southwest but he is much older than you because he's much older than me. But I know the area, my, my, his parents, who I loved. They used to live near Coral Way in the 87th and Galloway, so oh, my gosh.

Speaker 1: 18:06

Yeah, westchester, you know like right there. Oh my God, san Juan is enchanted.

Speaker 2: 18:13

My sister still lives in Miami, but she's down. She's much further south now she's in Country Walk.

Speaker 1: 18:19

Okay, that's so nice down there. Yeah, I've got family down there, but I like going all the way south, going down to the keys, you know that's that's my jam. Where are you now, then, if you're not down?

Speaker 2: 18:30

So my dad is from New York and I went to school in DC and then I went to New York because I always knew New York was more my speed than Miami, although you know I appreciate Miami a heck of a lot more now, especially in the winter. But I'm in Connecticut. I, I my after I married my, my now husband, after my practice spouse. My husband is from Connecticut and I was able to commute into New York City for many years and lived in Connecticut. But I will tell you, I these. This today is the kind of day. I was just outside with my dogs and I was delighted and felt immense gratitude because I started to see the buds and the trees, yes, and the weather is gorgeous. It's a gorgeous spring day and this these are the things that I just love.

Speaker 1: 19:20

So I want to say yes, oh, my goodness. No, I lived in Georgia for a few years and like it got to like 18 degrees and I was like I'm out of here, so I can't even imagine further north.

Speaker 2: 19:33

Yeah, we've had. We've had our moments. I mean don't, don't, don't get me started about the ones that are negative.

Speaker 1: 19:39

Eight oh, no, no, no, no no. No, I have a little heater here going on Good, good, yeah, no, I could not survive up there.

Speaker 2: 19:47

I know you, miami girls, my sister will be wearing her coat and 60 degree weather, so it was, we had a cold front and this morning is in the 60s.

Speaker 1: 19:57

Yes, and that's a cold front. You know every.

Speaker 2: 20:00

She was dropping off my knees and is putting her hat on like what's wrong with you? This is flip flop weather.

Speaker 1: 20:07

Oh my gosh, our great grandmas are rolling up. My great grandma would be rolling over in her grave knowing I would go outside, and without a sweater. So, julie, how can we follow you? Do you have like a gift for audience? I do.

Speaker 2: 20:24

Of course. What kind of what kind of visitor would I be without bringing something? Yay, I'm going to tell you. Number one is people can find me. I'm going to make it easy Julie DeLuca Collins, on all the platforms.

Speaker 1: 20:40

And those links will be down in the show notes or in the comments.

Speaker 2: 20:43

Absolutely. And then if people want to check out my podcast because a lot of these types of conversations are the things that we talk about Go to Casa de Confidence. You can check me out, and also I have incredible conversations with incredible guests. Nicole, you got to come on the show and we got to talk about the summit and everything that you've been doing, because I'm such a fan and the other place that people can find me is in the free gift, because I know. Go to go confidently coachingcom forward slash quick links and for those of you who want to learn tiny habits, you can get five days coaching from me on tiny habits for free, and this is a free five day coaching that we do with the tiny habits Academy, but I would love to be able to walk you through that.

Speaker 2: 21:38

There's a couple of different other things in there, but I know that if you wanted to start tiny habits to improve the things that you're doing, to be that overcomer and really grow in your personal development journey and habits is a great way to start. So make sure that you go and you click on the link.

Speaker 1: 21:57

Yes, I love it. Habits is how I started. It starts everything Go grab. I'm gonna go check out all of those resources. I encourage you to do that and follow Julie as well. Like I said, she's in the summit. So if you bought the VIP replays, they are still available for you and I'm gonna throw that link in the comments as well, so you can grab the VIP Replay and you can get all the replays of the summit. So thank you so so much for being here with us, julie. This has been amazing. Any final tips before we sign off here? One last thing.

Speaker 2: 22:31

You know, one of the biggest things that I'm going to say is.

Speaker 2: 22:34

And this is something that applies to so many different areas of your life is Find your people. We, as humans, are created to be in community. We are created to not be lonely because, by the way, loneliness Causes early death has been proven. There's a study on it. So find your people, because if you are hanging out with the people who maybe don't get it, don't understand, don't want to get new habits, don't want to build you up, find the people that do, because they're out there and Like this part of the summit, go get the VIP. So then, when you're down in the dumps or you're unmotivated because motivation will leave you you can come back and get motivated with some of the incredible speakers in the summit, with some of the content that Nicole and everyone is sharing here. So make sure that you do that. That's my final tip is find your people.

Speaker 1: 23:31

I Love it. That is amazing and you know what I've been thinking about it. This is a piece of content I've been working on about how, a few years ago, when I was in the midst of you know the depression, the anxiety, I Was praying and I was like I want to raise my vibrations and I want to attract people to myself. That are amazing and you know what I was realizing. I think I've accomplished that goal because, like Julie, julie you came to me through Brooke and so, like the universe brought you to me and that has come from the work that I've put in and so you Definitely raise those vibrations, you can change your circles, you can make new friends. You know the power of social media is just amazing. So I love that is such a wonderful tip. And then you know it's just, I love how in alignment we are. Like everything you're saying. I'm like, oh my god.

Speaker 2: 24:21

You're asking me questions. I'm like oh my gosh, this girl's totally my alley.

Speaker 1: 24:26

No, we, we we Attract.

Speaker 2: 24:30

What we want, we just have to is the power of Manifesting. And for the people that think like, oh, that's so whoo, it's not, it's brain science, go look it up or ask me, go DM me on Instagram and say what do you mean? My manifestation is not wound as science.

Speaker 1: 24:45

Let's talk about it, let's get these conversations going, because we're gonna have we shared the more that we learn a whole podcast episode about that, so I'm gonna have to invite you back so we can we can do a deep dive into that. I love that. Yeah, thank you so, so much for being here with us, julie, and we will see you next time Until later.

Speaker 2: 25:07

Go confidently everybody.