From Tech to Coaching: Jane Reason's Path to Self-Awareness

What if turning 30 was just the beginning of a richer, more fulfilling life? Join us in an eye-opening conversation with Jane, a transformational coach for midlife women, who shares her compelling journey from a career in technology and education to finding her true calling in coaching. Jane introduces the "wheel of life" tool, revealing how it can help you prioritize and balance the various aspects of your life. She delves into the common struggles faced by midlife women, such as neurodivergency and noisy minds, and provides actionable insights for connecting mind and body to achieve a higher level of self-awareness.

Could living in the present moment unlock your greatest potential? We challenge the societal pressure of milestones like turning 30, suggesting that it's merely the start of an enriching new chapter. Discover how our 40s can be our prime years, combining the wisdom of experience, the thrill of growth, and financial stability. Jane brings the fascinating concept of quantum physics to the table, emphasizing that the present is all we truly have. She also shares book recommendations designed to help you embrace this mindset, including one that promises to bring calmness and clarity into your life.

How can surrendering to the universe transform your life? Explore the art of letting go with references to "The Surrender Experiment" and "The Prosperous Coach," as Jane discusses the transformative power of mindfulness, habits, and gratitude. Learn about "doorstep mindfulness" and other personal techniques that will help you stay grounded in the moment. Jane underscores the importance of small, consistent actions for overall well-being and offers resources available through her "Embracing your Second Spring" Facebook group. This episode is a treasure trove of practical advice and wisdom for anyone ready to embrace transformation and growth, no matter their stage in life.

Chapters

• 0:02 Embracing Midlife Transformation and Growth
• 9:39 Embracing the Now and Future
• 12:52 Navigating Transformation Through Surrender
• 24:10 Mastering Habits and Time Perception
• 34:52 Practicing Mindfulness for Present Living

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

bye and finally, welcome back to the next episode of the overcome yourself podcast. I am so excited to be here today with um today's guest. Her name is jane and jane, welcome. Tell us a little bit about you, um. Tell us about you and your awesomeness. I can't wait to hear this right?

Speaker 2: 0:26

oh well, I've. I'm jane. I'm a transformational coach for midlife women and I come to this with a long background in both. Uh, initially when I left university working in technology communications technology as a research scientist, I moved from that to being a full-time mum and from that into being a teacher. A science teacher very quickly moved through to being a senior leader and then a head teacher and finally an executive leader within the education field.

Speaker 2: 0:58

And then burnout struck. Yeah, and, and there's lots of things around my burnout I I mean burnout was created through choices that I made. Uh, with best intentions, but that's what happened and and from that I chose to leave. I thought I can't do this anymore. I need to, I need to find a new way. And, being almost 60, I took my pension early so this is a couple years ago and I took my pension early. And so this is a couple of years ago and I took my pension early and didn't really have a plan for what I was going to do post being a head teacher and executive leader. And then this idea I've always loved coaching.

Speaker 2: 1:36

I've always loved coaching. It's been part of my life for such a long time and it has such a transformational power for women and for anybody. And it has such a transformational power for women and for anybody and I thought, okay, I can do that, I can be a coach. So here I am I'm a transformational coach for midlife women. I run a Facebook group which is called Embracing your Second Spring and that's for women and women kind of mid-30s upwards, and in there I run a lot of free training on kind of mindset and midlife and menopause. Essentially, you know, being the master of your own life as well and really doing that. And yeah, that's who I am, as well as coaching, and I absolutely love coaching.

Speaker 1: 2:26

That's wonderful. So tell me a little bit more about that. Like what? What's like the best advice that you give your clients when they come to you? Like what's that theme that always seems to come up?

Speaker 2: 2:42

So one of the things that I noticed with many of the women is they have lost themselves in the middle of doing this for somebody, doing this for somebody trying to run a business or try to be in a business, try to be the best they can and and they kind of go where am I? They're lost in, they're lost in the hustle and the best advice I can I can give them is where in is that whole thing around? Where in this are you? Let's find you. Who are you and where are you and how are you taking care of you?

Speaker 2: 3:18

Which is why one of the things that that's in that free group that I run is a document called the wheel of life, and it's such a beautiful way for people to kind of look at the things that are important to them in their life and I and assess how much attention they give it, how much time it takes, and then if you look at that and you go, this is how much time it takes and yet this is how important it is to me, they can often see that it's as important and yet takes takes little time because they haven't put the time into it. Is it something like?

Speaker 1: 3:54

this, that's exactly it okay, so notice, if you guys are watching this on on the video, that that is something that I do. That is something that is included in my journal, so that is a fantastic thing to have in that group. I do that every month and I take a look at that, and so you can go into Jane's group and grab one of those and every month for a year you can measure how am I feeling about all these different areas of my life. That is amazing. That is such a great gift for people. Oh, my goodness, jane.

Speaker 2: 4:28

And it's so enlightening for so many people because they look at it and they go, oh, oh, yeah, ok, this is important, but I'm not spending time on it. Or I'm spending all my time here, or I'm just trying to fit so much in and everything is being squeezed out, or I'm just trying to fit so much in and everything is being squeezed out. So, yeah, it's a really good starting point for many, many of the women that I work with. That's a good starting point.

Speaker 2: 4:52

What I've also noticed about a lot of the women I work with they're either recently diagnosed or considering diagnosis for neurodivergency and the commonality there is the really noisy head, really noisy head. So so we look really carefully at how we can, um, separate from that noise. You know, which is why the wheel of life is such a good tool, because it's a practical tool, but really then tuning into self. So the coaching is very much about connecting mind and body together, because often we're in our heads and we're not in our bodies at all and we don't notice or we discount what we feel.

Speaker 1: 5:40

Oh, that's such a big deal, that is such a big deal, absolutely.

Speaker 2: 5:45

So a common question for me to ask is I'm seeing this. Where are you feeling it? You know, and this is what I'm hearing you say, where are you feeling that in your body? And that slows people down, which is such a beautiful thing to do, because when we slow down, we can tune in to the inspiration that comes in. We can hear clearly that, that, that those ideas and those thoughts, that, because we were so in the noise we were unaware of.

Speaker 1: 6:24

Yes, because the universe whispers, right? So if we're calm enough, if there's too much noise we can't hear, and then we feel lost because we're, we want, like somewhere deep down inside of us, we want to hear the universe. You know, whatever you call it, like I hear the voice of God or hearing the universe, but that's what we have to do.

Speaker 2: 6:43

It's a whisper, and so, like when everything else is screaming, yes, yes, absolutely um and there's such a beautiful quote in the start of james I think it's jamie smart's book clarity, and he talks at the start of that and he and he starts with this sentence a muddy puddle will will clear on own, but you can't make it. And when we talk about hearing that whisper too often, we're trying to force that whisper to come out. So what we're doing is we're shaking up that muddy puddle and we're making it murkier and in the murk we can't hear, we can't see.

Speaker 1: 7:29

So we have to let it settle and then it comes right. It's like chasing happiness, like one of the things that I learned is that you can't be happy all the time. I wanted to be happy, right, I didn't want to be sad anymore and I thought that the opposite of sad was being happy. But if you're chasing happiness all the time, like it's physically impossible to be happy all the time because happiness is a chemical reaction that happens in our brain, right, we get like oxytocin or we you know, like the dopamine, like there's different things that happen, and then there's happiness. And then you know, when you don't have those things, you can feel sad, right, but like you can't live in happy all the time, right, but like you can't live in happy all the time. Sometimes we have to just let things settle and what I learned was living in joy. You can enjoy all the time. You don't have to be happy all the time to be enjoyed, to be in peace, right. So so good.

Speaker 1: 8:18

You've said so many things that are amazing, like one of the things that I thought about in my book and one of the things you said so many things in our life are seasons and as women, we hold on to those identities, like being a daughter and I'm like I'm the best daughter, right, but then at some point in our life that doesn't serve us anymore, because our biggest role isn't being a daughter, just like when we wrap our whole identity up and being a mother. Well, what happens when the kids grow up and they leave the house? Now you're, you're empty and like like you can't ask them to come back because that's the natural progression, right, and so a lot.

Speaker 2: 8:58

I think that a lot of that happens is where you know the party's over, as they say, and you're all alone after the party and you're looking around and now, now you've got to deal with you, you fix, and this is why I love that, because this is why my Facebook group is called Embracing your Second Spring, because if we look at life as a set of seasons, then often we see as we head to midlife, and particularly as we head into perimenopause and menopause, we kind of conditioned to see that as the beginning of the end, and yet there's so much that happens beyond that point.

Speaker 1: 9:39

And it's not the beginning of the end, it's the start of a new season yes, but even turning 30, there was a lot of messaging that like your life is over. Now you're 30, you're officially an old lady. That's it like like your life is over, basically, and it's kind of like hold on, this is just the beginning. Like like a comedian was like, think about your parents, your parents and pictures. They did. The hottest, like you know, like era for them was their 40s. If you look at their pictures, they were a mess in their 20s and 30s. So like the best is about to be here, like now is when you're like you have experience, right, like you you're growing, like you actually have an adult body now, right, and you have all of these lessons. And now you've got money too because you've been working, you've got a career. So like you're not like that broke 18 year old, right, um, and so we get to be kids all over again if we wanted to, right and this is where dreams can have a challenge, isn't it?

Speaker 2: 10:35

because so often people get to a particular stage and I saw this in a linkedin post recently as well we get to a particular age and we go oh, I had so many dreams I wish I had. And actually you know that the past is history and history is interesting, but doesn't tell us about the now or the future. And so you know, it's really important to live in the now. So many of the women I talk to are constantly lost in the what ifs and the then I must, and controlling every element. And you know going well, I'll do this tomorrow, but if it rains, I'll do this, and if I live in the UK, if it rains is a pretty common thing, and they're so in that, trying to control every element of their life, that they miss that life is now, and the future that you want is made up of a sequence of nows you want is made up of a sequence of nows.

Speaker 1: 11:38

Yes, yes, like quantum physics tells us there is no such thing as the past, there is no such thing as the future, and when you really think about it, those things don't exist. The only thing that exists literally is right now, because even in the future it's right now, now, right, because now we're in the future, from when I just said that, so like there, but that moment that I just said it doesn't exist anymore and so, yes, that's such a big deal Calling in those things and understanding that it's already yours, like I know that's diving like way deep. But I've been reading this book, which is something that I wanted to ask you about, and I'm studying, like these quantum physics and I'm like, oh my god, it's like it's all making sense, it's all clicking right, um, like down to like the molecular level. But I wanted to ask you, um, since this is what you do, tell us about some good book recommendations. Do you have, like maybe like three books that are super?

Speaker 2: 12:30

yeah, well, this is. There's a book right now that is really calls in the calm for me. You know, like you know, this thing around, we live a busy life and we can get caught up in the noise, and there's a book right now that really pulls me into that calm and and it's it's uh, michael singer. Okay, um, the under the surrender experiment, and the beauty I find in this one is it's the. It's a really, really interesting story about noticing the noises in his head and suddenly realizing that he was listening to the noises, the voices in his head, but he wasn't the voices in his head. He was separate to them and then starting to see those voices as noise and irritating and wanting them to go away. And so he went into this space where he was constantly sort of meditating to try and create calm. And then he started this experiment of surrendering to whatever the universe put in front of him. So, very much in the now, you know, no forward planning at all, just surrendering to what the universe puts in front of him. And when you think about this, it's incredibly scary. We're so caught up, aren't we? In the? Well, this is the line I'm going on and this is the now. You know, I mean until I suffered my burnout, you know I had my journey planned out in terms of my next stages in my career. This wasn't on that list and yet this is an amazing space to be in. I love it, and surrendering to the universe so the universe helps us make decisions is fantastic.

Speaker 2: 14:17

So I I would recommend that, and if there are any coaches listening, a book I'd really recommend any coach, or a particularly any coach, considering going into being a coach, an entrepreneur coach, and that's the Prosperous Coach by Steve Chandler and Rich Litvin, and that's a really interesting way of looking at things.

Speaker 2: 14:44

And particularly coaches go into the business of coaching because they love serving people and then they realize that coaching is a business and so there's a business side to it and it can feel really uncomfortable. You know, asking for money, it can feel really uncomfortable, but I love doing this. Why should I ask for money? And then it's that business and one of the key principles in that book is that you come from service. So when you're creating clients, it's coming from service. You're enrolling clients in their own growth and development, and that was such a beautiful thing for me to read when I first started this journey and kind of it's not a word I use much now, but that permission piece around. I can love the business side and I can love the coaching side and they are actually the same thing. You can get, you gain, clients by coaching clients.

Speaker 2: 15:47

Yes, you know so you do what you love doing and and you create clients through creating relationships. Yes, and I'm in the business of relationships.

Speaker 1: 15:59

Yes and when you get to do things, you get to go out and go to dinner, or you go out, you pay for a vacation, or you go out and you buy a new bra for yourself.

Speaker 2: 16:13

You don't expect to get a good price, do you?

Speaker 1: 16:16

No, no. But I was going to say, when you do have those clients and just taking a moment to appreciate and be like I get to do this because my clients paid me. That happens to me all the time. I'm in awe of myself. Sometimes I get to go out to dinner right now because they paid me. They love me and I'm helping them and they love paying me. That was a big switch for me, was one of my affirmations. People love to pay me and give me money, because when I used to work in a restaurant, my money issues were so bad that I would feel bad dropping off the check of the restaurant Like you guys ordered all this food, you chose it, you knew the prices.

Speaker 1: 16:57

This, but my money is so bad that even with that, I would feel kind of weird, and so it was really hard to come up to someone and be like my services are thousands of dollars, yes, but the transformation that you're gonna get is worth so much more, so there's actually a scale.

Speaker 2: 17:13

There's something isn't there in the exchange of money that creates both the coach and the coachee showing up differently. Yes, yeah, that's what you mean. There's an investment in it, isn't there? You know, there's a real sense of duty, I guess, to self and to client. I need to show up as if they paid me this money because they have, and actually then, however, I'm actually going to show up as if they paid me 10 times that, 20 times that, 100 times that, and what does that look like? There's a real privilege in being a coach. I think the amazing. There's a real privilege in being a coach. I think I get to be part of and witness these amazing insights and transformations that the women that I work with have, and wow, what a beauty that is.

Speaker 1: 18:05

Yes, and it's the little things Like.

Speaker 1: 18:09

That's the wonderful thing about what we do is that a lot of people are like it seems so big, right, but we're working on foundational things with people, we're uncovering layers, we're just peeling back the onion, right, and we are holding their hands while they're walking through those challenges.

Speaker 1: 18:26

Because for me, I know, it always feels like there's this wall, like, right, you know, like in a video game, right, when you're about to get to the next level, you gotta face the big boss and there's like this wall. And a lot of times I I know, like in my story, in my life, I would get to that wall and I get scared, right, because it's scary, it's dark and it's it's murky and you're like you don't know what's gonna happen, and so you turn around. But what happens when you turn around is that when you are ready and you're like, okay, I'm gonna go to the next level, you have to still get to that wall. You have to get past that wall. And so our job is to hold your hand and be like, hey, it's not actually a wall, it's a sheet. All you got to do is push it and it's gonna dissolve and there's nothing scary on the other end and if there is, I'm holding your hand through it. So we got this absolutely.

Speaker 2: 19:14

And there's this thing as well, isn't there that? You know we talked earlier about chemicals that there's the chemicals in the brain, that that that shoot off. You know, whenever it's something unknown, there's a, there's a trepidation, there's a, there's a fear, and that triggers chemicals. And then we attach thoughts to that sensation in our body and that sensation lasts 90 seconds. It goes on when we attach thoughts to it, because each time a thought goes oh, that's what it means it goes yeah, yeah, I'll do more of that, and you know so. Then you go oh, yeah, you say this is really scary. Yeah, yeah, I'll make it feel like it's terrifying, you know, to reinforce this negative.

Speaker 2: 19:56

So we and we're learning to sit with that sensation and realize it's extension is a thought creation, because one of the biggest things that I think is transformational for people is noticing that actually we don't see the whole world. We don't see the infinite possibilities and opportunities and differences and and and and everything that and the beauty that's in the world, because we see it. We see the world through the lens of lens of our hidden beliefs, and that lens is going. You look here because there's some evidence to prove it, but don't look over there, because that doesn't prove it.

Speaker 1: 20:37

It's like those glasses from oh my god, was that movie with nicholas cage where they steal the declaration of independence national treasure? Remember that they had those glasses and it had like a bunch of different slides and so like, if the blue one was there they couldn't see that part of the map. But then if they moved it in the red one, now you could right, and so you could be looking at the same thing and you just have the wrong lens so you can't see the map absolutely, this is it.

Speaker 2: 21:04

You know you, and when you open the eyes, you know your eyes to the fact that this is what is happening, and also when you notice that a lot of those hidden beliefs were created as a child, with a child's understanding of whatever those words that were said or those actions or those feelings that they had were. So it's a child, maybe a seven-year-old's understanding of the world that's created, this belief that's been with you for your whole life and you know, as an adult, you're seeking evidence that it's true.

Speaker 1: 21:42

Yes, that's like wow, that's like a big aha moment. Oh, my goodness, I was trying to look for the title of this book because you're reminding me when you're talking about it. I was trying to look for the title of this book because you're reminding me when you're talking about it. I don't remember the title. If I do remember, I will put it in the show notes for everyone. But in this book it's talking about how we are not ourselves, we are the observer of what's happening to us, and so I think it's what you're talking about is taking a step back and just allowing yourself to observe. So you see, that negative thought come and you can be like well, where did that come from? Right. And then this happy one well, where did that one come from? Let's go back and see if we can find more. Um, but I can't remember the name of the book. If I do, I will. I don't know the book.

Speaker 2: 22:33

However, there is another book that actually I think is is a really interesting book to read when, when you're trying to, you're exploring this idea of inspiration and calm, and that's called clarity by by Jamie Smart. That's an incredible book because it basically clear thought comes from the absence of noise, not from within the noise, and those books really kind of get you to look at what's going on in your own head in such a different way and learning to be able to notice. I mean, not all of us have this continuous dialogue in our heads, but I certainly do, and what I noticed, at quite a young age actually, was that I could be separate to the dialogue and that when I sat back, I was hearing both sides of an argument and that when I'm in it, what I do is I choose one side and I go. That's the truth, you know. But when you step back and you go, oh, actually my brain is is exploring both. It doesn't want to be wrong, so it's going through both, and these are just all thoughts and I can observe these thoughts.

Speaker 2: 23:50

So who am I? That's doing the observing, essentially, but I'm doing the observing. So I have three choices when I'm doing the observing. One choice is to choose that answer. The other is to choose that answer. But there's a third choice, which is to go oh that was an interesting thought and not taking it in either answer. And I remember being taught mindfulness many, many, many years ago and they're saying in this, in this program you know, if a thought comes in, notice it but don't engage with it. And it's just like sorry, if a thought comes in, I am that thought, but you're not, you are separate to it and it's, it's, it's not something you have to be in yes, yeah, yeah, and most people don't think about these things.

Speaker 1: 24:43

When you talk to the average person, they're not thinking about what they're thinking about. So if you've, made it this far into the episode, like you are in, like this is the gold, this is, this is where the magic happens, right, like this is really really deep coaching, like you have to you gotta have a little bit of experience.

Speaker 1: 25:02

Yes, but, um, but it's so good because it's so, so true, um, and something that helped me with that a lot was somebody told me no one died and promoted you to general manager of the universe. It is not your job to solve all the problems. So, you see a problem, you'll be like I'm not the manager of this problem, and then you walk away right.

Speaker 2: 25:26

And also, you know this, this thing we have around being lost in control and trying to control for every eventuality, and therefore constantly in our heads and constantly, um, trying to explore, you know, the what ifs when we're not in the now that we talked about earlier, about you know, the future is made by a sequence of nows, and how many and I I can hold my hand up to this how many of us genuinely can't remember some really impactful and important elements of our life and and you know, maybe our own children's lives, because we were so caught up in our heads that actually that memory was not stored in a strong place, because we weren't paying attention and being in that memory.

Speaker 2: 26:14

And so you know, this is where we don't need to control things. You know, it's not like we wake up in the morning and we have to make a decision what the weather is going to do. We have no control of it. You know so, and yet we get caught up in oh my goodness, the weather's not doing what I wanted it to do or whatever it is. You know, as I say, I'm in the uk, so weather is a preoccupation in the uk. We are what, what the standard decided this, you know, description of a uk person is we talk about the weather and and yet, you know, just accepting the weather. Okay, this is what the weather's doing today. That's cool.

Speaker 1: 26:57

Okay, this is what I'll do then okay, yeah, I gotta, I gotta wear this or I cannot wear that today, like, oh, it's rainy, I was gonna wear a white shirt, so I guess I have to pick a new outfit, right and and yet you know where?

Speaker 2: 27:12

where is it? Where we have to pre-consider what we're going to put on in the morning. What do you mean? Well, this idea of we plan to what we wear, I mean, that in itself kind of is in our heads, isn't it? It's like I need to plan what I'm going to wear tomorrow. Well, we don't, we can just choose in the morning. Yes, it's just the whole idea about the now.

Speaker 1: 27:46

On whether you're a night person or a morning person, because I don't like to make decisions in the morning. Do?

Speaker 2: 27:49

you know what I read somewhere on that basis? I read somewhere this thing around if we create I think it atomic habits oh, I love atomic habits, yes, in there where it's kind of like if you create something whereby it's just a pattern that you follow, there's no decision to be made yes, there.

Speaker 1: 28:08

Okay, there's a lot of. There's a lot of controversy right now with that, because one of the things that we're finding is that those of us with ADHD habits don't work quite the same as someone who's not, because we have to think about things like I, I don't. I have habits and I've implemented habits for myself, but I still have to think about them every single day.

Speaker 2: 28:36

It's not like this is an interesting one, because I am ADHD myself and yet habits really help me because they take away. They take away some pressures. Well, yes, and so I guess it depends.

Speaker 1: 28:51

There's no decision to be made, but it it's just. It's not like am I going to do this or not, I am going to do this, but it's like kind of telling myself it's time to do this now.

Speaker 2: 29:02

Oh, that's ADHD and time. Let's face it. You know we have. We have no concept of time. We're aligned with the universe. Time doesn't really exist, right, right. And you know we and you know we can have a short period of time and think we've got loads. We can have loads of time and think we've got none.

Speaker 1: 29:20

Yes, yes, yes so, yes, I think habits are super, super, super important, um, but it's just understanding that they might not happen exactly the same way for us as everyone else oh, absolutely, we're all different, you're going to have to think about it, but it's you decide.

Speaker 1: 29:36

Like that was really big for me is realizing that those tiny decisions that you make every day drinking water every day, brushing your teeth every day, like doing these rudimentary, like elementary kindergarten things that we were taught they add up and so it's it's not about am I going to do this or not. It's like no bitch. You're drinking water today like there is no if, ands or buts. You drink your coffee and then you're going to drink water and so like automatically. But I think about it, but like this is what's happening right?

Speaker 2: 30:07

now yeah, that's the spoon theory thing, isn't it as well? And so much energy you can give, and I think this is where this is where I'm noticing certain things. I think we need to also really play to our strengths and notice where we we can gain help from others. So one of the things that helps me is I have a husband who loves patterns, so he loves habits and routines, and so I don't have to explore the thinking around that, because it happens, because there's a routine in place that he ensures happens, and so that that is simple for me. Um, and so, you know, those sorts of partnerships are really useful for us.

Speaker 2: 30:52

You Same in business and things like that as well. There'll be things that you're great at, and then there'll be things that drain you of energy, like in ADHD. We've got this incredible ability to hyperfocus, but we lose sight of the other things. And so, creating routines where there's at least some familiarity even though, you know, I create a timetable for myself and then deliberately don't follow it but at least I know the things, at least I've thought about the things that were important to do so the process of creating the timetable creates an element of importance to me, and then I redo the timetable.

Speaker 1: 31:33

I still don't follow it, but again I'm reassessing the importance well, you at least lay like a little foundation, even if we don't follow it. Um, I've learned to observe, like take inventory, like what are you doing, naturally, and then how can I fit something else in here? Because if I try to be like you're going to work out every day at 10 in the morning and 10 in the morning, like well, I have a client call, or oh well, I'm hungry, or you know. So it's not about getting it done at 10 in the morning. It's like, before client calls, you're going to hit the gym and it's like, oh shit, I got to call in an hour. I guess I got to go, you know, and so it's like playing around.

Speaker 2: 32:13

Yeah, I get that Very loose and fun. When I ever have physio to do or anything like that, I add it to the routine of brushing my teeth. Yes, so if they say it needs doing three times a day, well, at least it's going to get done twice, isn't it it because I will do it when I brush my teeth, because I always brush my teeth, therefore, I will always do the physio.

Speaker 1: 32:39

the rest of it and your habit stacking.

Speaker 2: 32:41

Yeah exactly, habit stacking makes life so much easier.

Speaker 1: 32:45

Yes, and then it's like oh my god, like I'm just killing it, like it took no time at all, because I did two things at the same time, and so you can't even get it and say, oh, that's that's, that's another thing, that's that's another thing in atomic habits, isn't it that habit stacking, you know?

Speaker 2: 33:02

and it does make life so much simpler, but there's so much as well that we tell ourselves that that creates challenges. So I was having a, you know, recent client who was constantly telling herself she was too tired to, and then each time she had this, each time a challenge came up, she'd go into this, I'm too exhausted to do this, and she'd start yawning and everything else. And then we'd work through that and she suddenly had loads of energy. And I kept saying this is thought created. This tiredness is not real, it's thought created and kind of, she's played with this and she's gone.

Speaker 2: 33:38

Oh, my goodness, I have more energy than I thought. I'm too tired to go to the gym, I need to stay in bed, but if you get up and go to the gym, you've got the energy. Do you know? I mean, it's, it's, it's that thing of of. We can create so much in our heads and once we're aware that a lot of what happens in our bodies we are generating, you know, it's thought generated, it's thought created and that we are in control of that, we don't have to follow that thought.

Speaker 1: 34:08

Wow, that's powerful it helps me to be like future Nicole is going to be really grateful that you did this, and then I'll be like you know what you're right she is, and then I'll do it. And then I get to the future and I'm like past Nicole, you were right. I am so grateful that I hope to do this now and you know, and that helps me a lot, you know, like doing little things like that, like why am I gonna?

Speaker 1: 34:27

I don't want to do this now well, do you want to do it tomorrow?

Speaker 2: 34:30

no, then do it now and then tomorrow when you look at it you'll be like, yay, I did it yesterday. Yeah, I'm terrible, you know I.

Speaker 1: 34:38

I know that at times I've got stuck in that there's always tomorrow trap yeah, and so we gotta, we gotta like if our thoughts get us into it. Our thoughts have to help us get out of it. Oh my god this has been so amazing. I want you one, one final tip before we sign off here. What would it be for our audience?

Speaker 2: 35:00

Pay attention to how your thoughts affect your feelings in your body. So when you, when you're in your, when you're in your head and you've got, you've got something going on in your head, connect to the feelings. If you've got a problem solved, where are you feeling that problem to solve? For me, it's always here whenever. Whenever I say you know, I'm asked to connect. That's why here is, so we can hear it here. Here is right in the middle of my chest, right in the middle. That's where I feel it.

Speaker 2: 35:34

And the other thing that then comes along with that, when I noticed that I can body check and I've learned to let things go out of my fingertips, so I put my hands down and I let the tension drain out of my fingertips and it literally moves away. And so I created and this is the technique, if you like, create a doorstep mindfulness. So literally, if you're going from one room. As a head teacher, I was often going from my office to the school or the school to my office, and there was a real need to be in the moment, in the present in both cases. And so what I would do is I'd check myself as I got to the door Am I feeling tension. What's going on in my head? What's going on in my body? Let it drain out my fingertips and off I go.

Speaker 1: 36:29

That's wonderful.

Speaker 2: 36:30

And it really puts you in the moment. So find what is your now to put you in the moment. I'm looking at the trees blowing in the wind right now, and what a beautiful way to connect to now yes, my thing.

Speaker 1: 36:43

What I always um recommend, my tip for everyone to get into the now is practicing gratitude. So I'm just I'm so grateful for the greenness of the trees. I'm so grateful for the wind blowing. I'm so grateful for the greenness of the trees, I'm so grateful for the wind blowing, I'm so grateful for the rain the rain that, like the animals and all the plants and like the earth, needs so I can stay cool because God is hot, um, and you know, and so finding little things to be grateful for, but I love that, and just to bring you into the now, like that is, that's everything, um wonderful, and yes, and um, you mentioned a free, so can you tell us a little bit more about that?

Speaker 2: 37:20

OK, so going back to my Facebook group, I have a Facebook group you can find with ease Search Embracing your Second Spring. That's where it is. It'll be in the show notes as well. Yeah, ok, and in there there are various files, and that includes the Wheel of Life, which is an incredible tool for just paying attention to what's important to you and where you're spending time, and then from that you can work towards changing that, if that's what you need to do.

Speaker 1: 37:55

Level one, taking inventory. That's the first thing that I always absolutely.

Speaker 2: 38:01

Where am I now?

Speaker 1: 38:02

yeah, and then if the audience would love to stay in touch with you I know they will because you're amazing can you tell us how we can follow you, like on social media? What's your website? Anything else like that?

Speaker 2: 38:12

Okay, so my website is jane reason coachingmeuk, my Instagram is currently Jane reason menopause coach underscore menopause coach. I may change that, but that's what it currently is, and my Facebook is just Jane reason coaching.

Speaker 1: 38:31

So Jane reason, everywhere we go, we can.

Speaker 2: 38:34

Absolutely. Well, you know, my business is me, so why not put me at the center of my business? Yeah, and that's not an ego thing, that's just a simplicity thing.

Speaker 1: 38:43

No, absolutely no. That makes total sense and like, it's your name, it's your brand, and so, yeah, let's build it out. I love it, mine too. Yeah, let's build it out. I love it, mine too. My website's NicoleTexburycom. So, yeah, I get it all right. Thank you so much for being here with us, jane. This has been absolutely amazing and, um, I guess we will see each other on social media and thank you, audience, for being here with us. Stay tuned for the next episode of Overcome Yourself, the podcast. Bye.