Turning Heartbreak Into Inspiration With Lori Keesey

How do you rebuild your life after facing unimaginable loss? Lori Kesey, an accomplished author and former journalist, takes us on a powerful journey of resilience and purpose. Having shifted from a high-stakes career in Washington DC and NASA to the serene hills of East Tennessee, Lori opens up about her incredible transformation into a novelist. She shares the heart-wrenching story of losing her oldest son and how this tragedy became a catalyst for her novel, "Always Think of Me." Through her poignant storytelling and personal experiences, Lori reveals the importance of finding meaning and community even in the darkest times.

Lori’s incredible career journey offers valuable lessons in embracing change and stepping outside conventional paths. From her start in traditional journalism, through freelancing, to a fulfilling role at NASA, Lori’s adaptability and courage shine through. Learn how breaking away from the notion of job security can lead to unexpected and rewarding outcomes. Discover the power of her blog, The Accidental Blogger, where stories of overcoming significant challenges are shared. This episode is a testament to personal and professional growth, showing us that even in the face of adversity, we can find our unique purpose and thrive.

Chapters

• 0:02 Overcoming Tragedy and Finding Purpose"
• 13:13 Navigating Career Changes and Personal Growth

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

Hello and welcome back to the next episode of the Overcome Yourself podcast. Oh, I made my shirt for PodFest you can see it if you're watching this on the channel and I've got my Overcome Yourself the podcast shirt. Super exciting, and I'm so excited to be here today with Lori. And now Lori is an author. She's got an amazing background. She was a journalist. I saw something about working at NASA and we're going to jump all into that. But, lori, I want you to jump in here, introduce yourself and tell us a little bit about your backstory.

Speaker 2: 0:36

Okay, my name is Lori Kesey. I was born in Washington DC, raised in Maryland. Ten years ago my husband and I moved to East Tennessee probably the smartest thing we ever did. It's lovely here, the people are awesome, friendly. I'll never forget when we first moved down, went to one of the Ken Joes or whatever's a convenience mart and I'm walking toward the door and some teenager rushes back to the door and opens it and you know this is I'm totally unaccustomed to this. It was, you know, just these they were. So he was so polite. So anyway, I, when we first moved down I was still working as a communication consultant with NASA I was allowed to commute 500 miles away via, you know, electronic everything. It was amazing. And so about three years ago I did retire and really got into writing my novel Always Think of Me, which was published on April 2nd. So it's relatively new out there and I'm kind of excited about it and thinking about a sequel as we sit here and talk. Nicole.

Speaker 1: 1:52

Yes, oh my gosh, that is so exciting. But this is not the first book you've published, is that right?

Speaker 2: 1:58

No, I have never published a novel before. I've worked professionally as a writer since I graduated from college, always wanted to write a novel ever since I was a kid. But, like I tell people, the words would come, but the story didn't. And it took a tragedy before the story came. And so that's what happened, and that's part of the reason why I retired as well. I needed to devote myself to finishing this novel, creating a platform. I'm also a blogger. I call myself the accidental blogger because I never had any intention of ever being a blogger. But you know, taking classes and trying to figure out this world of publishing, everyone said you need a platform, you need to put yourself out there. So I decided to devote the Accidental Blogger to writing stories about real people who overcome adversity, and I've been doing it. Now in August It'll be four years, so I plan to continue that as well.

Speaker 1: 3:04

That is amazing. I'm so excited We've got a lot to talk about. In what you said, you mentioned a tragedy. I'm very sorry for whatever happens, but we want to touch on the overcoming right, because the name of the podcast is Overcome Yourself. The name of my book is Overcome Yourself, and so my next question was going to be can you tell me a little bit about what it means to overcome yourself in this journey of becoming an author and following your dreams?

Speaker 2: 3:38

Well, for one thing, I think, the first thing, when you're overcoming something, it takes time and not everyone will do it the same way. I mean, we're talking about hard things that people encounter, and it could be anything a death, you know, a betrayal of some sort, the list goes on and on a devastating illness, and everyone deals with these things in their own unique way. For me, I walked around for I don't know how long it seemed like months, in a complete daze, and our personal tragedy was the death of our oldest son, and so I didn't know what to do. My husband didn't know what to do. It was horrible.

Speaker 2: 4:22

And the thing is, nicole, I'm not the only person who's dealt with this sort of thing. It happens all the time and everyone, like I said before, people deal with it differently. For me, I had to start. I prayed, I prayed and I also meditated not meditate in the you know the um sort of sort of way but I started looking. Okay, what I started really thinking about? All right, what is the meaning of life? And I know that you know I'm not some philosopher, it's not necessarily well, I suppose it's a profound question, but what I came up with perhaps isn't so profound.

Speaker 2: 5:01

But what I discovered is that we're all here for a reason and we all have a special job to do. And if we don't do that special job, we may prevent someone else from doing his or her special job. It's like we're linked, we're enmeshed, we need one another and if you fail to do these things, I think you never realize your own purpose. You fall off the path. And, honestly, we're all here for a reason and imagine not doing what you were created to do. It's sort of sad to even consider.

Speaker 2: 5:38

And another reason why I wrote this book, which is an uncommon love story, is because think about all the suicides. If people realized that they are special and only they can do the job that they were assigned to do, do you think they would have taken their lives? And when I started writing the novel, there was a huge uptick in suicides. A lot of it was stemmed from the COVID business. I mean, people are alone and disconnected from everyone, and that was a tragedy in and of itself. We can't live alone. Some people can, but most of us can't. I certainly can't.

Speaker 1: 6:22

No, we do. We have a need for community. That is one of our basic needs You're absolutely right and sharing in that community. So thank you for sharing that with us. First of all, I want to say that and I also want to say I'm so sorry for your loss. You know, I can't even imagine In the story, you know, like the first thing I open up with in my book, um, is about when I miscarried my baby and um, that is different, but it is still something that makes you take a look at life, like you said right, because enlightenment doesn't happen in this beautiful, like your hair is done and you're at the top of a mountain and you just know the world.

Speaker 1: 7:07

It happens to us in those moments where we feel like we're breaking right. And I remember looking out at the sun and it was just shining and it was so bright and it was so happy and I was like, how could you do this? Like I feel like you're betraying me, son. You're betraying me because how could you be so happy, how could the wind just be blowing when I? I just feel so dead inside, you know, and that I can only imagine it being so much bigger when you, when you have a face and things, but what is important about this is because I grew up, you know, I lost my mom when I was one and a half and I had to learn to live with that Right, and so I had to learn how to be grateful for for her having me, and I had to learn to be grateful that Right, and so I had to learn how to be grateful for, for her having me and I had to learn to be grateful for what I did have left.

Speaker 1: 8:07

You know, not necessarily memories, because I don't. I don't remember her directly, but I have stories and I have pictures and, and you know, and I have me, she lives on through me and the babies that I lost also live on through me and they live on through our stories and through us sharing these stories with the world Because, like you said, other people are going through this and it does feel dark, but these are the situations that really, like you said, they bring us into ourselves. Right, we're not just going through the monotony anymore because we can't. We have to enjoy what we've got right now.

Speaker 2: 8:49

Did you notice when you went through that, which is, look, that's just as painful? I mean, you lost a child period. How can these people be going on with their lives? And here I am just in, bereft, you know, did you notice that it was like it was a surreal experience? And I bet they're all many, many, many of your listeners can relate to that. You know, it just feels I guess the best word is surreal. You know, how can life continue to go on when I feel so horrible? And it's not about us, but you can't help but think that, because that moment you are only thinking about yourself.

Speaker 2: 9:30

And that's when, in time, you do need. What I had to do was start looking outside, beyond myself, and figure out okay, this happened for a reason. I need to figure out what I can do to make it better, not only for myself, but perhaps this experience will help someone else and, furthermore, showcasing other people who've experienced horrible things and showing readers how they had overcome the adversity. Maybe this will be something a reader or a listener could benefit from, and so that was really the motive behind the start of the blog and everything I've done since.

Speaker 1: 10:17

Yeah, absolutely, I started off as a blogger. I don't know if people know that when, I first started my website, so I absolutely love that.

Speaker 1: 10:26

I did SEO and stuff for bloggers and I think it's just such an important form of communication, especially now to have real stories from real people. And it's really important as well that, like with blogs, there's no barriers, right? So you just go to the website and you can read the blog, like you don't have to go buy the book, and so anyone anywhere can literally benefit from the advice, and so I commend you for being a blogger. Thank you, yes, absolutely and for sharing your story, because I know that it's hard. I know that it's hard to sit here and talk to me about this, um, and but you do it, like you said, for for other people to know that I don't want to say it's going to be okay. It's going to be okay, um, and we learn to live with it, you know, and we learn to make the best of it.

Speaker 1: 11:22

And one of the things that I had to learn you know when I, you know when I was going through the miscarriage. I remember coming home and I was like all right, so is this it? Are you just going to die? Like, why didn't I die with her? And that's part of my five minute story. And then I was like, well, if you're not going to die with her. And then I was like, well, if you're not going to die with her because you're still here, are you going to just go through life like a zombie, or are you really going to live it now? Are you going to be ready for whatever's coming next? Are you going to do this in her honor? And you know, because this happened over 10 years ago and I'm still talking about her, you know, and so she's still a part of me, she's still here with us.

Speaker 1: 12:06

Like I tell my mom's stories, like I lost my stepmom when I was in my twenties and I get to talk about her in my book and I get to share the lessons that I learned with them. And so in that moment of deciding, am I going to live or am I just going to, you know, I had to learn how to ask what can I be grateful for? And that's really tough, you know, but it's the foundation of my book. And the other day someone asked me well, what do you know about suffering? And I was like I got to tell my story more because I am young.

Speaker 1: 12:38

But you know, we've faced situations that force us to grow up, no matter what age we are, because you could be, you know you could be like any age and you really face a situation where you have to like, know yourself, like, you have to change everything, like everything just changes. So I want to thank you for sharing that. Now let's talk a little bit about your journalism career. I want to talk a little bit about how did you end up at NASA. Tell us a little bit more of the backstory, sure.

Speaker 2: 13:13

I graduated from the University of Maryland and majored in journalism. My first couple jobs I was a newspaper reporter. I worked at the Delaware State News in Dover, delaware Interesting place. Moved to South Carolina, worked for the Greenville News, lived in Spartanburg. That's where I learned that I really liked the South. I just like the way it is, the accents, and you know people take a little more time to chat with you. That's, it's friendly.

Speaker 2: 13:44

So and then I moved back to the DC area because at the time I had just gotten married and my poor husband couldn't find a job in the Spartanburg area. So we moved back to DC and, oh boy, I couldn't find a job. It's a it's a tough media market. And I ended up working for McGraw Hill, working for a coal mining publication covering coal mining regulations. No one can imagine how boring that is. Anyway, I ended up then working for nonprofits, the amusement park association, got another journalism job covered Capitol Hill, and then I went on out, I started to freelance and that's how I ultimately ended up at NASA. I had gotten a journalistic job covering NASA, fell in love with the agency. I mean, if you have to work for the government, that's the agency you want to work for because they do interesting things and the people aren't. They're not. They're scientists and the people aren't. They're not. They're scientists, they're engineers. They have a different outlook on life.

Speaker 2: 14:53

Um, so I I started somehow, I managed to um get a consulting gig with the goddard space flight center and I ended up working there for nearly 20 years and I worked with the chief technologist. I did did his communication planning. I, you know, wrote, using my journalism, I wrote stories about technology in a way that the average person could understand. So you know, I know nothing about optics or any of that stuff, and you know, it was sometimes like, oh my gosh, I would spend this time trying to understand it before I could write these stories. I would spend this time trying to understand it before I could write these stories. But boy, I learned a lot and it was a great experience. And, even better, I could work from home. I didn't have to deal with the DC traffic and commute from my place in Montgomery County, maryland, to Prince George's County, maryland. It was fabulous. So that's how I ended up working for NASA.

Speaker 1: 15:49

That's amazing, and I think that also the theme of overcoming is there, because you you were a journalist, so you knew what you did, but you didn't constrain yourself to like the traditional way of using that, and so you opened yourself up and you were able to do what you loved in a different way, and so you didn't let it stop you right.

Speaker 2: 16:09

That's right, and you know what. You bring up a very interesting point. When I was working for newspapers, anyone who went into media relations or public relations, we considered them, you know, hacks or something, flax, whatever. And I remember thinking the same thing. But then I started thinking, well, if it hadn't been for a publicist, I probably wouldn't have known about interesting people or even products, whatever I was covering at the time. So everyone has a job. Like I said, everyone has a job to do.

Speaker 2: 16:41

And I started thinking, wow, I was always afraid to go out and to start. Wow, I was always afraid to go out and to start freelancing, really afraid. I was like wedded to this, this idea that to survive you needed a job, you know steady pay, benefits. And when I stopped thinking in terms of security and saying you know what, you can chart a different course and you might very well do okay at it. Boy the sky. Like you said, everything opened up. I, you know, I freelanced for magazines, et cetera, et cetera. I did a lot of stuff. I worked for corporations in their human resources departments and did all kinds of things using the writing that I had been doing my entire life. And you don't need to be stuck. Oh, I'm going to be, you know, a reporter. I'm going to be the next Woodward and Bernstein, whatever. No, yeah, really opened up the possibilities. So, yeah, it's overcoming your bias of things that you initially thought, oh, I can't do that, that's nonsense. You can do it.

Speaker 1: 17:53

Yes, there's a lot coming up. For me. I think of, like the book David and Goliath by Malcolm Gladwell, and he talks about how underdogs have a better chance of winning with the right mindset.

Speaker 1: 18:05

right, that's one of the big themes of my book um, and I did a bunch of research to back that up um, so I quote that in my book. And we, when you're you didn't study for something, so you don't necessarily like, if you're gonna go play basketball and you just learn the basic rules and then you jump into the basketball game, you don't know the connotations, so you don't know, like, the implications, right, well, it's implied that you're not supposed to do this. Well, is it in the rule book? No, so then I can do it. And so we get to come into these fields, you know, and use our expertise and we get to shake things up and we get to do things in a new way. And so I think that your story is such a great example of that, how you just opened up some new doors for yourself and you just you did things because nobody told you you couldn't do them.

Speaker 2: 18:56

Well, and sometimes I also think, nicole, it was all supposed to be. You know, this was the path that I was supposed to travel, and if I had stayed doing what I was doing, I may have never ventured down that road and therefore, everything that's happened in my life the good, bad and the ugly would have never happened. And those things do define who I am. I mean, these things define you. You're never going to be the same person again, but that's okay too. You're never going to be the same person again, but that's okay too. You're, you're, you're. You are the same, but you're different. Your outlook has changed, and sometimes that's for the better.

Speaker 2: 19:35

I think, for me it was for the better.

Speaker 1: 19:37

Yes.

Speaker 2: 19:38

Yeah, and I'm more empathetic. I think I mean people would tell me these things and you know you put the sad face on it. But I didn't really understand. I didn't until I experienced it myself. And I think that's a good thing too, because people do need a shoulder to cry on when something horrible happens and they don't need bromides. And you know these pat little phrases oh, you know that person's better off. You know you don't want to hear that. You need to, you need to, you just don't. That's not what you tell someone, and I learned firsthand that those are the things you do not tell someone who is grieving. You let them talk, you listen.

Speaker 1: 20:24

And sometimes you don't even have to talk, and sometimes you don't even have to talk, just being there, yep, isn't you know? Um, yeah, so the platitudes, and you know, some of us are leaders, right, like we stand out, we are projectors, like we are like the we're not the thermometers when we walk in room, we're the thermostats, right, and so we go through these situations in order, like you said, to lead others who are going through, who have not figured these things out yet, and so we get to use these things that happen to us for good, like, right, it's like a, a superpower.

Speaker 1: 21:06

Um, you know, like the difference between a supervillain and a superhero is their perspective on what happened to them um and then the super, the supervillains, get bitter, and then they try to take it out on everyone else, and superheroes are like I'm going to use this to help other people. And so that's what we are. We took a situation that was terrible, that was meant to destroy us or could have destroyed us, and you know, it's like it's like in the Everglades when the Everglades catch fire, but that's supposed to happen, so that new growth can happen and new trees can come out, and so it's a natural part of the process, and so we can try to pretend that these things don't happen and power through, but we know that that's not how life works, and so I want to commend you for taking life by the horns and using, using what, what you have, to help others, because it does. It's brave, and I admire you. I just want you to know.

Speaker 2: 22:02

Well, thank you, I admire you too. I understand you have been through quite a lot. You shared a lot with me today. I also know of some other things that have happened to you by doing my own research, and I commend you as well.

Speaker 1: 22:16

Thank you, thank you so much. Yeah, and I love getting to do this because I get to meet people like you, because you blow me away, you're just, you're absolutely amazing. All right, so One final tip. So let us know, like if you you know your final tip for our listeners, what is like the big takeaway here?

Speaker 2: 22:38

If someone has done something to you that caused the adversity or made you become an overcomer, you really do need to forgive that person Absolutely, because if you don't, it's like a cancer It'll just spread and you could become embittered, and that's not the way you're supposed to live your life. And the forgiveness is not because that person deserves it, it's because you need to do it so that you can heal and you can move on. That's my tip.

Speaker 1: 23:12

Yes, I love that. I have a feeling that comes from a story in your tragedy is what it sounds like. Do you want to share a little bit about that or no?

Speaker 2: 23:22

About the tragedy? No, not necessarily. Some of the things that I write about in the book always think of me. It's not autobiographical, but many of the things that I write about in the book always think of me. It's not autobiographical, but many of the things that happened in that book really did happen and I simply fictionalized it. So I hope people will take a look, check me out, look at my blog the Accidental Blogger. I believe you'll have the website on your show notes and look, and I love hearing from people, so if people want to email me, I'm happy. I always respond. So I believe that will also be included in your show notes, absolutely.

Speaker 1: 24:02

So accidentalbloggercom.

Speaker 2: 24:05

No, it's called laurikeeseycom.

Speaker 1: 24:08

And the website.

Speaker 2: 24:09

yes, the website includes my blog, a couple short stories I've written, as well as links to how to get my book. There's also a little freebie of the prologue to see if they would even want to buy it, and I do hope people will take a look.

Speaker 1: 24:26

Yes, absolutely, and you mentioned that you had a gift for our listeners.

Speaker 2: 24:30

Yes, I am happy to give away a digital copy of the novel.

Speaker 1: 24:35

So that will be provided. Yes, okay. So do you have a link for that so we can add that to the show notes?

Speaker 2: 24:42

No, I'll just. If it's okay, I'll just email it to you and you can include it.

Speaker 1: 24:45

Yes, absolutely perfect. So make sure that you check the show notes so that you can grab your copy of Lori's novel.

Speaker 2: 24:58

Can you say the name of it again?

Speaker 1: 25:00

Always Think of Me, it's available on Amazon Books A Million Barnes, Noble, all those places, Okay. So head on over to Lori's website, lorikeasycom, and you can get all the info. You can check out her blog, you can grab her book and you can even get a free copy of her book. That link will be down in the show notes and the comments, wherever it is that you're watching this. So thanks once again for joining us for the overcome yourself podcast. This one has been just absolutely amazing, Like we went deep in this episode. So thank you guys for being here and we'll see you on the next one. Bye.