Reclaiming Inner Joy: Lucyann Lacazi-Baniel on Healing Trauma and Empowering Women

Can you imagine overcoming childhood trauma, substance use, and self-doubt to reclaim your true self? Lucyann Lacazi-Baniel, a nurse coach and somatic trauma-informed coach from Florida, joins us to share her incredible healing journey. Hear firsthand how inner child work, validating feelings, and reparenting oneself can lead to profound transformation. Lucyann also introduces us to her Empower Her coaching program, designed to help women free themselves from past trauma and live more consciously. We link her experiences to insights from "The Confidence Code," highlighting the importance of building confidence in women.

Unresolved trauma can profoundly impact our lives, but addressing its root causes is key to fostering authentic self-expression and intrinsic confidence. In this episode, we discuss natural human responses to stress and how practices like gratitude and presence can help achieve sustainable inner peace. By drawing parallels to the animal kingdom, we illustrate the importance of living authentically and being present. Join us as we navigate the balance between joy and happiness, emphasizing the significance of a spiritual connection for a fulfilling life.

Self-care and rediscovery are essential in the healing journey, especially for women. Lucyann shares valuable mindfulness practices and techniques like box breathing that can significantly improve well-being. We explore the tendency of women to choose productivity-related hobbies and the importance of engaging in activities that bring genuine joy and help disconnect from daily responsibilities. Reflect on childhood interests, embrace the power of play, and learn practical tips for healing from narcissistic abuse and emotional trauma. Tune in for an empowering discussion on reconnecting with your inner child and rediscovering joy.

Chapters

• 0:01 Empowering Women Through Healing
• 7:24 Finding Joy Through Present Awareness
• 18:06 Rediscovering Joy Through Play and Mindfulness
• 24:10 Healing From Trauma and Narcissistic Abuse

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

Hello, hello and welcome back to the newest episode of Overcome Yourself, the podcast. As you know, my name is Nicole and I'm so excited to be here today with Lucianne. So, lucianne, take it away, tell us a little bit about you, who you are, where you are and what you do.

Speaker 2: 0:19

Hi, nicole, thank you so much for having me on. I'm really grateful to be here. So my name is Lucienne Lacazi-Baniel. I am a nurse coach and a somatic trauma-informed coach. I am from sunny Florida and I tend to work mainly with a lot of women to really help them, to empower them and liberate them from their past and to discover their truth. Use their voice. Use their voice and heal heal from trauma, heal from anything that they have going on inside of their bodies and their nervous system. So I work really well with a lot of women. To do that, I created a program called empower her and it's a three month coaching program that I have had amazing results with, but it's very much based on my healing journey too.

Speaker 1: 1:07

All right, and that's where I was going to lead to next. So the name of the show is overcome yourself. So can you tell us a little bit about your journey and if you had to overcome yourself to get to where you are right?

Speaker 2: 1:18

now, yes, I can. So when I went back to school to advance my training as a nurse coach, I wanted to see what was really on the other side of this profession, because it is fairly new. So I decided to work with someone to work on my confidence. She had an amazing program and throughout that process it was a healing journey because I uncovered lots of layers and roots to my inner critics, the voices in my mind that were really holding me back in my life, and there was like this amazing process that I ended up going through. It was a journey. It was painful, but I knew that when I got to the other side of it that it was something that I needed to share with the world. It was almost like I went through an awakening and it seemed as if I was almost unconscious, even though I was very much living in my life. It just wasn't like now. Like now I'm conscious, present, healed, and it is my mission now to share this with the world.

Speaker 1: 2:22

That is amazing. Um, yeah, tell me a little bit more. Like I want to know more about your story, Like what did you overcome?

Speaker 2: 2:32

Okay. So I had a lot of trauma. I know I had a lot of trauma in my life um childhood trauma and I didn't realize how much suppressed grief I held onto. There was also some numbing and distraction that I went through in my life with substance use and that really I have to say that that almost created somebody that was not my authentic version. It was like a version of me that this world created because I was carrying so much fear and such immense self-doubt and I really wanted to have confidence and own my truth. But I didn't understand why I had such a self-doubt and second guessing myself. So that was a big part of my healing journey and discovering how much I held onto. I had lots of anxiety. I felt lots of stress inside of my body. My heart would palpitate even speaking into a room with people looking at me and I didn't want to live that way anymore. So that was a big part of my healing journey.

Speaker 1: 3:39

I love that so much. Thank you for sharing that with us. You said a few things that really caught my attention when you said, like, growing your confidence. I've been quoting this book, the Confidence Code, where it talks about how us, as women have you read it? No, Okay, that's a great one to put on your list, the Confidence Code. I'm always talking about it.

Speaker 1: 4:01

And they went and they interviewed a bunch of, like, really successful women and they they were like well, what you know, what is it like? Like are they still experiencing imposter syndrome? Like it's impossible, right? Like if you become a general in the army, you've conquered imposter syndrome. And they walked in there and she was battling through imposter syndrome. She's like I'm lucky. And they were like you're not lucky. Like look at all the things you've done. And one of the big takeaways that I got from the book is that us, as women, we don't need more competence. We go and we get a bunch of certifications and we go to continuing ed and we, we we start stacking all of these things and it's like we're not good enough. We're not good enough, we're not good enough. But what we actually need to work on, like you said yourself, is our confidence because, as women, we're already overqualified, we're already overly competent and we need to step into that confidence. So I absolutely love that Like do you feel like that resonates with your story?

Speaker 2: 4:59

Oh, yes, absolutely so. There was an inner critic of mine who was like high achiever, constantly seeking certifications for validation. But throughout this healing journey I did a lot of inner child work and I validated parts of my, of myself as a child, as a teenager, my feelings and I reparented myself and I learned that I am enough just as I am. And I looked at my story, the resilience in my story and how much I've overcome throughout my life and that's what really gave me that intrinsic confidence. I you know someone can have a credential, someone can have a license, but I think it's the amount of work that you put into something and how you embody that work as you are helping other people and serving in this world.

Speaker 1: 5:48

yes, absolutely, um, I thank you. Yes, um, there was another point that I was going to bring up and it went away, but I'm sure it'll come back as we're talking. I also remember that you said, like peeling back the layers, right? Especially in this entrepreneurship journey, we get to face ourselves like like really all the things right, Because it's really hard to ask for your worth and be like hey, pay me $5,000. If deep down inside you don't, you don't believe that you're even worth that right.

Speaker 1: 6:30

If you don't have the self-worth if you don't have the self-confidence, and so a lot of these things that these coaches are telling us to do charge your worth, make more posts, do all of these things.

Speaker 1: 6:40

But it comes from that, that lack of confidence, right, right where, and it's been kind of beaten into us since we were, since we were little like, oh, don't climb on the tree, like don't jump too high, like make sure your legs are crossed, don't curse, like there's all of these parameters, right, um and so, as we are growing in our journey, like these layers, we start peeling them back and the best or the worst part, I don't know is that it's usually the same lesson at a different level and the same lesson coming up. What do you, what do you think about that? Is that paralleled in your journey as well?

Speaker 2: 7:21

Oh, absolutely so. You know, I want to touch on a little bit of. I think all of us have been through some degree of trauma throughout our lives and what ends up happening when we go through these traumas is we don't really process them right away and our body actually remembers how we felt. So I love when you said you know like we want to have this intrinsic confidence. You know, but what you're putting out into the world, it's like a charge for you know, put you know, charge this, this is what you're putting out into the world. It's like a charge for you know, put you know, charge this, this is what you're worth.

Speaker 2: 7:59

But unless you are, unless you've gotten to like the root cause or the limiting belief, if we know what that really is, then that is really hard for us to adapt that modality of just putting ourselves out there, if we don't actually deeply down believe this, locate the source of where this came from and and like face things head on, to heal that part of us and reframe it, or look at what we actually have sustained and what we have completed in our lives. That's what gives you that like magnetic energy that attracts, how you can serve people in this world, how people can trust you in this world, that you are showing up and you know exactly what you've been through. Your story is yours, but you can sympathize with other people in their journey and on their walk, so I think there's a lot that parallels as you mentioned.

Speaker 2: 8:46

Yes, absolutely.

Speaker 1: 8:47

Yeah, yes, yes, yes. And what it made me think of is I saw a video where someone was explaining that when, like a deer, like if a deer is being hunted and they're running away from a predator Right, and they get away from that predator once, you know, once that guy is gone and they're safe, one of the things that they do is they start shaking and they shake and they shake all of the fear out of their body, cause they're like I got to get rid of this adrenaline, right. Like you know, we don't know what they're thinking, but I'm personifying, right, but they're getting rid of all of that excess energy. And I think that's a really great lesson for us. When we get stressed out, what do we tend to do? Cover ourselves, we might get in the bed, right, and instead, what if we moved? What if we shook it out and got rid of that energy? What if we switched and said I'm not anxious, I'm excited. I'm excited because there's something new coming? Yes, right, because they're the same emotion. We just label them differently, but we feel the same things, right, we feel our heart is palpitating, our breath, we start breathing different. Like we get excited, like there's adrenaline and they're both the same, but we label them differently, so we feel them differently.

Speaker 1: 10:00

Yes, and the other thing that the thought that I told you that I came back, you mentioned that there was like numbing the substances. Right, there was like numbing the substances right, and one of the things that I've been talking about a lot has been the difference between joy and happiness. Right, because for a long time I was chasing happiness, and chasing happiness right is because we're trying to numb these things, because we don't want to have to deal with them, because they're big and they're heavy and they're scary and we got to feel things, and so we're chasing happiness Right. But one of the things I learned is that we can't be happy all the time Like it's, it's, it's impossible for us because happiness is a chemical reaction, right, and so something good happens. You get some chemicals that go I'm not, and I'm not even talking about drugs yet, but like in your own body, you get happy and happens.

Speaker 1: 10:53

You get some chemicals that go I'm not, and I'm not even talking about drugs yet but like in your own body, you get happy. And then you get like the moxie, toad and toson you get, you know, like the dopamine, you get the serotonin, all that stuff changes up and then you're like, oh, I'm happy, but it's physically impossible to maintain that state all the time, because then, like it, yes, it just becomes numb, right, and so that's where we can dive into looking for happiness in the wrong places, because we're looking for that hit, and then what happens when it goes away? What I found is learning to live in joy. So my big thing is practicing gratitude so you can learn to live in joy. Right, so that're not sad, so that you're not anxious, right, Because our job is to enjoy this journey Like it's. All we got is the journey. There is no destination, right? All right, so take it away, tell me your thoughts on everything I just said.

Speaker 2: 11:46

So, yes, actually, I love that you brought that up. It's true, I feel happiness is something that we can chase, but joy is actually some. It's an inner peace that we can have, and I have found the way that I actually hang on to joy is by being present, and I'm spiritual. So, you know, connecting to God in presence is what brings me joy and it's actually what anchored me into, like my, my strengths to remember, you know, like, yes, you can have joy. You don't always have to say, like people, please, and put on a smile and constantly put your needs on the back burner.

Speaker 2: 12:24

You can still have joy in your life and you don't have to appear to be happy all the time. Like there's this like authentic expression you can have about yourself. But I think it's good to know that you can like navigate in between both the joy and the happiness. But yeah, it's like being present, and being present is a very big thing for me and that's what I really feel helped me to understand what joy really feels like inside of my body.

Speaker 1: 12:52

Yes, as someone who's neurodivergent, I know there's been times where I'm here and I feel like my life is happening somewhere else and it's a very strange feeling. But that's one of those things that I had to reel in, right, and I feel like it's not happening, there's nowhere else, like, it's here, it's right now. And so like telling myself you are safe, right, like if I'm, if I'm starting to feel anxious, you are safe, you are loved, you are okay, like, and bringing myself back to the present, thinking of things that I'm grateful for. So that's just, that's amazing.

Speaker 2: 13:29

I love that you do that. One of the one of the things that I teach my clients is when you are feeling triggered in your body or you're feeling like someone is, you know, verbally attacking you, or you just feel like reactive and you're not understanding why. I told my clients to pause, pause and to breathe deep breaths. I always tell them to put their hands on their hearts, close their eyes if they can, and ask themselves what is it that I need in this moment? Because a lot of the times, women especially we don't tend to ask ourselves what we need in this moment. We don't realize that we can actually resource ourselves to meet those needs. Does that make sense? So that's a big thing. I love to like presence and that really helps someone drop into presence to calm their nervous system, to feel safe again and be feel collective, to go back to whatever situation that they were in.

Speaker 1: 14:25

But being more present, yes absolutely Something that what you just said reminded me. My coach always tells us you weigh the options with your mind, but you make the decision with your body. So I think it's really important that you said to put your hand on your heart my nails are disgusting, don't look at them when you said put your hands on your heart and really listen to yourself, right?

Speaker 1: 14:51

Because there's going to be moments where you feel something and we have to learn to quiet things down so we can really hear ourselves again, right Cause like the universe is always whispering to us but, we have to quiet our minds down enough that we can hear when we can get those, like those downloads right, Like you get inspiration, you get at ideas that come from the universe, but you have to be still enough, quiet enough that you can hear it.

Speaker 2: 15:17

Yes you do you know when, when we are so stressed out, there's so much inflammation and it's hard to think you know ever some ever had someone say like I have brain fog. I can't remember, I can't you know when you are in that like panic state or in that fear state. That's exactly why you know there's lots of inflammation.

Speaker 2: 15:34

you know you don't have really clear, concise thoughts. There's no clarity there and that's where a lot of women end up feeling like a lot of self doubt in their feelings, emotions if what they remember is right. There's a lot that goes into the body too, so I love that you're bringing up like really being connected to your body and knowing what's going on.

Speaker 1: 15:55

Yes, Um, it just left again, dang it. I had a really good thought. What was I going to say? Oh, okay. Um, I was going to say between, okay.

Speaker 1: 16:07

So for some of us that are used to, are used to living in fight or flight, like I spent years, like you know, and that's really bad for you, like the cortisol in your body, like that's why we have belly fat right, like it just comes out, and then you look pregnant and you're like it's just no, it's cortisol Right, and so, like these things take effect. So what I want to know is what I know is that the opposite of fight or flight is to have our bodies in rest and digest so that we can not, you know, not be like, oh my God, there's a tiger chasing me. Can not, you know, not be like, oh my God, there's a tiger chasing me. So what tips do you have for us?

Speaker 1: 16:49

Like the first born, recovering, gifted women, you know, like the, the ADHD, like, like the ones that are out there they're building businesses, like the norm isn't working for them and they are realizing I don't want to live in fight or flight anymore. What is like some three tips that you have for us to help us Because we have to learn to live in, rest and digest right Like this. These are patterns, these are habits, these are things that come up, so what can you tell us about learning to live in, rest and digest?

Speaker 2: 17:17

Okay. So if we want to like, really bring our bodies down into that rest and digest place, we really have to figure out what works for us. So that means trying various modalities. So some of the things that I recommend. You talked about moving and shaking things off. Okay, so if we are in fight or flight, we have to figure out what's going to help us. You know, come down a little bit from that fight or flight state, whether it be, you know, as simple as this may sound like texting someone, but maybe we're not able to really handle a conversation at that time. So it's really trying out different modalities. You can try moving around, shaking things out, dancing I know when we're in fight or flight we really don't want to dance, but even moving around and going for a walk actually mobilizes all of those emotions and it can actually help you calm down.

Speaker 2: 18:06

I highly recommend breathing, as I know that that has been something huge for me, specifically box breathing, and that's helped a ton of my clients. And the other thing I recommend is mindfulness practices. So in the beginning, when I first started this journey, mindfulness practices was very new for me. It took me a long time to understand how to sit in the stillness and the quiet and not feel awkward about it. But as I continue to show up and practice it, eventually I started to see the benefits of it. And these are just a couple of things I can think offhand that women can do to start practicing and seeing if this works for them.

Speaker 1: 18:42

You know that is so important. And something else that you just made me remember I read this article that was talking about how men, when they have hobbies, their hobbies leave your like, they leave the house and they go do things that are totally unrelated to work or anything. But us, as ladies, when we have hobbies, we take up hobbies that are related to running our households. Yeah, so, like I like cleaning, I like baking, I like sewing, you don't like doing any of those things. You just feel a little bit less guilty about doing them because they're adding to the productivity, right, and so it's so, so, so important for us to let go of those things and even find hobbies like going for a walk, like disconnect from your house, like your house is not going to fall apart, yeah, yeah, disconnect to disconnect, yeah.

Speaker 2: 19:44

I just thought, what if you've got like like little kids, like?

Speaker 1: 19:46

boys like three boys. That might not work.

Speaker 2: 19:51

But it probably won't fall down yeah, you know there's a lot of guilt that we take on and a lot of shame if we don't feel like we are meeting these certain standards of our boxes. But the the reality is, yes, when, if I were to ask someone like a woman, you know, what is it that you like to do? I mean, most of the time when they come to me they really don't know what they like to do outside of how their identities have molded them. And not to say that this is there's no judgment. This is just what happens right when we're in in the home. If we have kids, we just kind of adapt to our roles inside of the home.

Speaker 2: 20:28

But I love when I get to that question with women because it makes them think. So it's it's a process of having fun and rediscovering parts of you. Like, if you feel like, if you feel like you left part of you behind, if you feel like something's missing from your life, I highly suggest to ask yourself that question what do I like to do? What brings me joy, what makes me feel happy, what actually helps me calm down, like, pay attention to those things.

Speaker 1: 20:56

I have one. So one of the things that I ask my clients is what did you gravitate to as a child? Because a lot of times we block it out now, but there's things you did when you were a kid that you woulditate to as a child. Yes, because a lot of times we block it out now, but there's things you did when you were a kid that you would love to be doing now, whether it was coloring or you know playing with some, with some cars or whatever it was, and you don't.

Speaker 1: 21:15

you just don't remember because you're, you're, you haven't, you're not allowed to, but nobody's, you know, you're the one that put that rule right?

Speaker 2: 21:22

I love that you brought that up, Nicole. Okay, so one couple of things I do throughout my program. I do reflective journaling, so I have clients write with their non-dominant hand to bring up that inner child, okay. And then they're like you know, I used to color, I used to write when I was younger and I loved this, and they actually draw a picture. The other thing I bring in is some somatic dance, but it's like free movement. So again, it's like play. Remember what you did as a kid, play what brought you happiness and joy, and if we go back to those things you know like, we can definitely get in touch with that again yes, and I recently learned and I want your opinion on this, um, as a nurse coach that play is the opposite of trauma.

Speaker 1: 22:03

so so, like it sounds like it's like even more important for us, like since we started this conversation talking about how we all have some kind of trauma. So I think it's so important that we get out there and learn to play, because some of us feel weird and that's because of our trauma.

Speaker 2: 22:19

Yes, I don't know if you've ever heard anyone say, like I don't feel like I'm fun anymore, like, as you get older, like I don't feel like I'm a fun anymore. But what do you think about? What do we do that brings us joy and what brings us like? What do we do that we find fun? You know, yes, like you said, we have our hobbies in the house, but what do we actually find fun anymore as we get older and we transition in life? So I love, love, love having women to rediscover this parts about them and you can actually see, as they go through this, as they go through the program with me and see them, their energy is different. They actually they're like embodying this happiness and this joy and they're sending me updates and it's just a really like amazing experience to witness their growth and to see them living again and feeling joy and happiness.

Speaker 1: 23:03

Yes, I love that. Oh my God, that's amazing. So, as we're coming up to the end of the episode, did you, did you want to let everyone know how they can connect with you? Do you have any free gifts for our audience? Maybe?

Speaker 2: 23:17

Sure, yes, I would love to. So, yes, you can connect with me on Facebook. You can find me by my full name, so it's Lucy Ann Lacazze-Baniel. You want me to spell that?

Speaker 1: 23:30

out. Well, that's going to be down in the show notes. So yes, or wherever you're watching this in the comments or in the show notes.

Speaker 2: 23:37

Okay, you can also find me on Instagram at Deep Awakening Wellness. That is the name of my company, and anyone who does reach out to me, I would be more than happy to offer a free clarity call to give you some space to see what's on your heart and to see if there's a powerful takeaway you can have from a clarity call with me.

Speaker 1: 23:59

Yay, thank you so much. Yes, thank you so much. Yes. So any final tips for our audience before we sign off here.

Speaker 2: 24:10

So final tips, I would say, if you feel that there is a part of you that you're looking to discover again, if you feel that you are battling with recovering from any type of narcissistic abuse or emotional trauma, childhood trauma, I highly recommend that one, that you would really just set aside some time for yourself to put your hand on your heart and ask yourself what is it that you need and, if you need support, to seek support and it can be. You know, I would love to hold space for you, but to just know what your, where your resources are, to not keep things inside and don't suppress emotions, because that can lead to severe anxiety. It can cause chronic pain in your body, and there's another way to live with purpose and to feel joy throughout your life.

Speaker 1: 24:57

Yes, oh, my God, that's amazing. Well, thank you so much for joining us, lucienne. This has been absolutely amazing, and we will catch you guys on the next episode of Overcome Yourself, the podcast. Thank you, bye.