Unlocking Potential with Marija Kalenic: Overcoming Limiting Beliefs and Embracing Gratitude

Join us for an eye-opening conversation with Marija, a specialist who guides new entrepreneurs past the mental roadblocks of limiting beliefs. Discover how these invisible chains, often rooted in childhood, hinder our potential and how self-awareness can serve as the key to unlocking personal transformation. We'll explore how to turn perceived weaknesses into strengths, akin to a superhero discovering their powers. Marija offers profound insights into rewriting personal narratives and shedding outdated identities, paving the way for personal growth and the realization of true potential.

We also delve into the transformative power of gratitude and its role in overcoming these limiting beliefs. Listen to the inspiring story of a client who shifted from anxiety to empowerment through daily gratitude practices and self-reflection. Learn how focusing on gratitude can move you from a state of fight-or-flight to rest-and-digest, fostering mental well-being and personal growth. Marija's compelling anecdote underscores the impact of addressing subconscious narratives and embracing personal strengths, offering a roadmap to transcend limitations and achieve new heights.

Chapters

• 0:07 Uncovering Limiting Beliefs With Maria
• 8:28 Overcoming Limiting Beliefs Through Gratitude

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:07

hello and welcome back. Hello and welcome back. Uh-oh, okay, is that better? Can you hear me? Okay, this is much better like I said hello and welcome back to the latest episode of the overcome yourself podcast. As you know, my name is Nicole, so excited to be here today to talk about limiting beliefs with Maria, so take it away, tell us a little bit about yourself and your audience, who you help um, and give us a quick intro into limiting beliefs. What are they?

Speaker 2: 0:50

What are?

Speaker 1: 0:51

they.

Speaker 2: 0:52

Okay, so who am I? My name is Maria. I come from Croatia, but I actually live in Italy, in Rome, and I work with new entrepreneurs, I mean with brilliant professionals, with pragmatic minds who are stuck in their lives, and therefore in their businesses, because of their limiting narratives and beliefs.

Speaker 2: 1:13

So we work together to uncover these beliefs that block them and to teach them how to deal with emotions that are always triggered by our beliefs and fears. So this is what I do I support them to create healthy boundaries in their work environment and become bolder and more self-aware and self-confident. I mean, the self-awareness leads you directly to the confidence, actually, and so they become leaders who are able to bring their businesses to the next level, who are able to bring their businesses to the next level. And you wanted to know about the limiting beliefs. Yes, that's what you wanted to talk about, right? Yes, definitely, it is my passion.

Speaker 2: 1:58

The limiting beliefs, you know, the limiting beliefs are the stories that we tell ourselves that can act as invisible chains and that can hold us back from reaching our true potential. So these stories are very often deeply rooted in our early childhood experiences. During our childhood, that is the time when we learn how to act, how to feel, what is considered acceptable, what isn't, and we learn how to interpret the whole world around us and ultimately, we define ourselves after these interpretations. So these experiences and our understanding of the world that surrounds us shape not only our values but also our beliefs, and these beliefs are very often created, based and influenced by people who we meet, who we trust and who we depend on. So it comes all from our childhood, you see, and these values and beliefs will then be the foundation of our mental habits and our behavioral habits and ultimately, over time, these habits create our character and identity.

Speaker 2: 3:06

So the interesting thing about this is that we create our identity when we are really small children, and some of us stay stuck in that identity. But this identity is it is very important to understand. It is not the whole truth. It is not who we actually are. It is this, this self-definition we can call it that way. It's just a snapshot of what has happened to us when we were children. So we stick to this image, we become even dependent on it, and this is what's limiting us, because at one point, you know we think this is an unchangeable truth, but it's not. You know we think this is an unchangeable truth but it's not. But if we think this is the only truth for us, we can't adopt and we can't grow and face with challenges that will request a change in our mental habit or in our behavior, ok, so this is why it is very, very important to be able to break free from those self-limiting stories.

Speaker 1: 4:07

I love that, and in my book I talk about like superheroes, and I talk about how finding what you thought was your greatest weakness could actually be your superpower. And this reminds me a lot of like the hero origin story, right, when they realize somebody comes to them and they're like you're the hero that we need, you're the solution. And in their mind, in their identity, they're like I'm just a high school student, I'm just a mom, I'm just me, like how can I be the one that's going to do this? And I think that it relates a lot to that. Right, like we are holding on to this identity and I'm just this, I'm just, I'm just an employee, I'm just a teacher, I'm just a server, I'm just whatever. I'm not that. Right. And it's when we are able to shed that identity. I love that and realize, step into well, what else can we be? Cause we're not just one thing, right, we're a daughter, and then we become a mom, like we're a student, and then we become like a teacher, right, like we teach others once we learn. We're a trainee, and then we become, like you know, the master, right, and so, yeah, I love and I want to bring this also back to something you said in the beginning.

Speaker 1: 5:21

You said self-awareness helps us increase confidence. Is that what you said in the beginning? You said, um, self-awareness helps us increase confidence. Is that? Is that what you?

Speaker 2: 5:29

said can you talk to me a little bit more about that exactly because, you see, um, very often we are not confident with each other because we again, because we have this self-limiting beliefs, and most common beliefs are I'm not worthy, I'm not enough, uh, I'm a failure, uh, I'm just not lovable, uh, I'm alone, etc. Etc. So these are all beliefs about us that puts us, that put us down okay and that put down our confidence. Once you get aware of the fact this, that these are not the actual and total truth, but just a belief that I am stuck with, okay, and then that I'm grabbing like this is, this is me, this is me and identifying myself with it, once you get aware that it's not the truth, this is the point where you understand that you can be so much more. And if you know that you can be so much more, this is the first step in becoming so much more, and then you can actually rewrite your life and your history, and getting more results will get you more confidence. So it all starts with self-awareness.

Speaker 1: 6:50

I love that. I love that and, yeah, learning to take action. So one of the main things that I teach is gratitude Like that's where my book starts off, before we start talking about the superhero thing but gratitude to be able to accept, right To be grateful for, to appreciate the things about ourselves. Right, because if we can't see them, I love it. Like it matches so perfectly what you're talking about with what I do.

Speaker 1: 7:20

If you can't appreciate the things that you do, if you're not self-aware, then how, how can you be confident about something that you don't even realize? Right, and so, like, one of the things that I write about is, for example, I used to tell myself all the time it was, it was like a recurring story you don't get anything done. You haven't gotten anything done today and it didn't matter what I did, it doesn't matter. Like I could have done a bunch of house stuff. I could have been writing my book, I could have spent eight hours on my computer writing and my brain would be like, well, you haven't done anything today because look at this long to-do list that you still have.

Speaker 1: 8:00

And I was like wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I realized this is something, a constant theme that's playing, and I was like Nicole how are you ever going to feel like you've accomplished anything if you always feel like you've never gotten anything done? I had to learn to appreciate. Well, I got to clean my house today Like it was a mess, and I invested time in making sure that our home is functioning right and so learning to appreciate even the smaller things. So can you tell me a little bit about that? Do you practice gratitude as well as part of your coaching with your clients?

Speaker 2: 8:33

Yes, gratitude is, I think, one of the fundamentals of living a really good, fulfilled life, because if you can't see what you have, you will always feel like not enough. You will always feel, uh, that that big hole and lack and, uh, this isn't a life. This is not a life actually. This is, this is the. This is one point why I started working as mental coach, you see, because I was always fascinated with human mind and I was fascinated with the thing that people act, talk, react, react in a certain way, but then it has nothing to do with the reality, you know, because they are constantly.

Speaker 2: 9:26

We are constantly taught that we are lacking something. You know, and this is one of our actually first instincts. Our instinct to survive is I need to identify in my environment, I need to identify danger first. So our mind actually is focused on identifying bad things, you know, things that can harm us, things that can put us in danger. So we need to do this the other part consciously, the other part consciously. We need to be, we need consciously to work on gratitude, on seeing the positive, because otherwise, you know, we are actually it is an instinct, we are wired to see the negative stuff.

Speaker 1: 10:21

So gratitude is the first, the first thing element that you need in order to start change anything in your life. I agree totally. I love that. Um makes me think of learning, like, if you know, if you're giving that analogy, we're like in a constant fight or fight, fight or flight mode, right, um, because, well, we have to learn to live in, not danger, right? So, instead of being in fight or flight, what's the opposite and how can I be there? Instead the opposite being rest and digest, right, and so learning to rest, like I know it sounds silly, but what are some tactics Like, what is something that you might help your clients with when it comes to rest, because that's such an important part of overcoming limiting beliefs? Right, like, I can't be resting because I need to be working. So, talk to me a little bit about that.

Speaker 2: 11:11

Yes. Well, this is an interesting question. It's different for every person and I'll say I mean, when I work on limiting beliefs, it depends on a limiting belief. I can tell you, for example, when you set part of the flight response, I have a client who is, who has an anxiety problem, really anxiety problem and panic attacks problem, and he spent years trying to fight it, trying to get better, with medications and meditation and whatever there was, you know, whatever approach there was, he tried it. Okay, he'd done it, and it couldn't help him. He, you know, the anxiety um starts as the really, really, um, how do you, how do you say this? Um help me out? Um, I'm sorry. No, you're fine, you'll get this.

Speaker 1: 12:16

Uh, I'm missing the word well, I'm bilingual, so I totally understand. Like you have a word and then you you can't grab it, how do I say?

Speaker 2: 12:24

it, yes, yes. So so you know, when you have an anxiety problem, it is. It puts you in the constant fight or flight response state. Okay, so this is why it came to my mind and you see, after he was like five or six years in psychotherapy on drugs, um, everything, and meditated and journaling and whatever. And I've been working with him now for seven months and once that actually what really helped him was understanding that his limiting belief, which goes far beyond the obvious things. You know he said I'm in this response because I was tortured and when I was a child, you know, mistreated and I have so many problems. So this is why I'm anxious. You know I have anxiety problems, but the the his self-limiting belief was that he identified himself with being anxious and being mentally sick, just because he has an uncle who was mentally sick and ended up in a psychiatric hospital. So this was his. You know, he was convinced. When he had the first attack, his father told him you see, you will become like your uncle and that was the end for him.

Speaker 2: 13:50

And now that he knows that it's not the truth, that he doesn't have to end up like his uncle, he started actually fighting it. And how do. You fight it With gratitude. You fight it because you have to journal every single day, for example. Journaling is the really really great technique. He's journaling every single day the positive things about around him, everything that happened positive in his day yesterday. You know what, what happened, nice, what, what did what is he grateful for himself, for the world around him? You know, at his work, whatever you know, but only concentrating on gratitude and on his strengths. You know he, he started, he, he, he, he transport completely his life. He actually hasn't got any panic attacks in months now. He just got his driving license and he was, he wasn't able to get out of his home. I mean, he needs to leave his, his work, really because he wouldn't be able to go into the office. He was afraid of the traffic, you know, and now he got his driver's license. It's yeah, it's really really great it's amazing.

Speaker 1: 15:06

That is such a great testimonial for you and the work that you do, and I know I used to have panic attacks every day, so I know how frustrating and exhausting and so many other things it can be, and so I commend you highly for helping your client with this and that's such great advice. It's not just about journaling, right. It's about working on those subconscious stories that we're telling ourselves and then using the journaling to support that, making sure that we're writing well, we're focusing right, like there's there's prompts and there's things that we need to make sure that we stay positive and we're not just doling out because I'm guilty of it. I used to all this is wrong with my life, right, and our brain will notice what we tell it to. So if I'm looking for all the things that are going wrong, my brain will make me a list and it'll be like look at all these things. But if I'm like, well, let me try really hard.

Speaker 1: 16:07

What went right? You start with one little thing, and it's not that more good things happen. Is that you're noticing, or the perspective that you take on those things. It makes it positive, right, like if I'm running late, something happened with the car, I'm like you know what there might have been. I might have gone into an accident if I left five minutes ago, and so this is like the universe protected me from that, so like I'm not even gonna be mad. Um, right, because it can be for anything and it's really everything that happens to us. How, how do we look at it? So, um, that's just invaluable. Um, so any final tips here before we sign off. Final tips about what? About overcoming your limiting beliefs, like when you're journaling what any other tips for for overcoming them.

Speaker 2: 17:00

Okay, so let's say it is a process. Okay, and I would just like to repeat it once more. You know, the first step, the really, really important step, is raising your awareness. Okay, about the source of your fears or limitations, but it's not only about the source. You need to go really, really deep. So you need a partner for that, a coach or a therapist that will guide you from identifying the barriers to uncover the reality behind those fears and limitations, because there is always a reality behind it. The next step is, once you have uncovered the reality and you found out what is your narrative, the next step is identifying the new behavioral patterns.

Speaker 2: 17:45

Okay, small actions, baby steps, actions that will eventually lead you to rewrite this old, limiting truth. You know it is. For example, I can give you an example. It is where, if you think about I'm alone, limiting belief, you know, if you think you are alone, you will act as you are alone and you will not be able to you, you will not be able to see or search for any help or support around you. But once you discover that that is not the truth, that there are lots of people who are around you and actually you can turn to, you can start changing your behavior, you can start acting differently and, even though it is very difficult okay, it is very difficult it takes getting out of your comfort zone and doing different things, doing things that are not you. But this is what it is about changing your identity. You have to do new things to have new results. So, when you start acting like you are not alone, eventually you will not be alone anymore, you know. So it is great.

Speaker 2: 18:54

And the last important thing is persistency. Okay, no, change is linear, and I always tell that everybody. You need to be very aware that it is not a linear path. It is not a simple path, but because, by changing your identity, you will align yourself with different people and there is an inevitable change in your environment as well. So it doesn't happen overnight. Okay, you need patience, persistency and resilience to do any kind of change. So you know, change your thoughts and you will change your whole world.

Speaker 1: 19:31

this is something that I'm really, really convinced of yes, and I think we are a testament to that because, like I said, I used to have panic attacks every day and I was not around the right people, mentally, right, you know just in terms of like they're not talking about what you and I are talking about, like we're not researching.

Speaker 1: 19:54

You know what I mean. And as I've raised my vibrations, as I've educated myself, as I've taken control of those stories, right Now I attract more people who think like that, right, and so it was a process, it didn't happen overnight. I became the person who can sit here and interview you and talk to you about these very high level subjects, because we can get into quantum physics and start talking about, you know, like how the you know the universe, how we create things, just in the vibrations, by talking about it. Words are powerful and so, as you're doing these things, as you're creating these habits and you're adjusting your perspective, with gratitude, all of these things come up. So, yes, it is a difficult process, um, and you will bear your soul. It's facing yourself, right, it's possible, but's possible but it's possible.

Speaker 2: 20:43

But it's possible. The important thing is, I always suggest to have an accountability partner for it.

Speaker 1: 20:49

And it's so worth it.

Speaker 2: 20:51

Yes, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely.

Speaker 1: 20:55

Yes, and do you have a free gift for the audience that's listening that they can come check out from you?

Speaker 2: 21:07

No, but I didn't think about it. You know, I'm not really very social, I must say so. No, I don't. But you know, I can offer, actually I can offer a free consultant, consult, free call.

Speaker 1: 21:25

Okay, how would you say that?

Speaker 2: 21:26

consultation, consultation. Yeah, I can offer for people. Um, yeah, for your listeners, I can offer free consultation. Okay, you can find me even um either on instagram or on linkedin and there is the link, and you can book a consultation for for free.

Speaker 1: 21:45

Yeah, yes, that's an amazing gift.

Speaker 2: 21:48

Yeah, absolutely. I would be really happy if I can if I can, you know, hear somebody out and maybe give them some, some advice, some personal advice because, of course, everybody's different.

Speaker 1: 22:03

Yes, awesome. Thank you so so much for being here. This has been absolutely amazing and, um, we will see you next time. Oh, and everything that she mentioned, the links for that, her instagram and stuff so you can um, get your free consultation. That's going to be down in the show notes, in the comments, depending on where you're looking at this, but, um, again, thanks so much for joining us and we will see you next time. Bye, bye, thank you. Thank you, nicole, thank you.

Speaker 2: 22:30

I'm not English speaking, so I don't know how it went.