Unlocking Your It Factor: Tameka's Journey of Transformation and Gratitude

Could finding your "it factor" change the trajectory of your life? Join us as we sit down with the inspiring FUN Coach Tameka, who transforms lives by addressing unmet needs and unlocking the hidden potential in people. From her challenging experiences growing up in foster care and confronting trauma, Tameka has emerged as a beacon of hope for those feeling misunderstood. Her story is not just about overcoming labels but about harnessing self-awareness and fostering teamwork to guide others on their journeys of transformation—faster than her own path.

We also explore the compelling power of gratitude and purpose, inspired by a life-altering moment that shifted our perspective entirely. Discover how gratitude, even for the smallest things, can be a powerful tool for personal growth and positivity. In this episode, Tameka introduces her book, "You're It: Finding Your It Factor," which empowers readers to find their purpose through Presence, Personality, and a mysterious third "P." Tune in to learn how shifting your focus towards gratitude and purpose can truly change your life for the better.

TLDR: Tameka's journey of self-discovery highlights the importance of finding your unique "It Factor" as a means of overcoming personal challenges and fostering self-awareness. This episode discusses the value of gratitude, authentic living, and actionable steps toward building deeper connections with oneself and others. 
• Tameka introduces her concept of the It Factor 
• Discussion of her journey through trauma and self-acceptance 
• The crucial role of self-awareness and community support 
• Emphasis on gratitude and shifting perspectives 
• Overview of Tameka's book and the three P's of self-discovery 
• Practical advice for connecting with one's true self 
• Tips for closing the gap in self-perception 
• Final reflections on personal growth and authenticity

Stay in touch with Tameka:

www.funcoachtameka.com 

It Factor Quiz: https://youreitbook.com/quiz

Chapters

• 0:01 Discovering the It Factor
• 11:26 Power of Gratitude and Finding Purpose

Transcript

Nicole Tuxbury: 0:01

Hello everyone and welcome back to the next episode of Overcome Yourself, the podcast. I'm so excited to be here today with Tameka, and so go ahead, Tameka, and take it away. Please introduce yourself and tell us who you are and how you help your clients. I'm so excited.

Tameka Anderson: 0:19

Absolutely. Thank you so much for having me. I am Tameka, aka Fun Coach Tameka and the fun is an acronym that stands for finding unmet needs because I help leaders, creators, entrepreneurs, parents. I help them to strengthen their self-awareness and inspire healthy team dynamics in 90 days or less.

Nicole Tuxbury: 0:46

I love that. That is amazing. So tell us about the eight factor, because it's on your shirt. I love that. We're both wearing our branded shirt, so talk to me.

Tameka Anderson: 0:56

Absolutely so what happened was for me, I had to realize that I am enough. I was hearing a lot of people say that it wasn't really landing for me and me being a very logical, direct intellectual, I needed stone cold facts. What does that mean? And then I heard a lot of people saying you either got it or you don't. So I went on a quest and I said I want to know what makes some people have the factor and what makes others do not. And guess what I found out? I found out that everyone has it. The only issue is how do you find it? How do you find out your it factor? So in compiling all of this research, I wrote my book. You're it.

Tameka Anderson: 2:03

Because it took me nine years, 8,000 hours of therapy, several breakdowns, to get to the point where I found my it factor. And once I stepped into it, I was able to be authentic. I was able to show up and attract people, places and things that aligned with me and my purpose. And so this in a nutshell the it factor is you have, look this space right here. Right, this is who we think we are right, and then this is who we think the world will accept. So in the middle of this gap here imposter syndrome, stress, burnout, depression, anxiety, all of the things that prevent us from being who we think we are Right. So what I realize is that once you find your it factor and focus solely on whoically as you are and attract people, places and things that align to who you think you are, so that's the it factor.

Nicole Tuxbury: 3:34

That is amazing, amazing, and I love the acronym of the fun code. I think that's genius I just just putting it out there and I love how you kept this theme of fun and games with the title of your book. You're it and and like that's genius because it's so memorable and like it makes so much sense. I absolutely love it. But I'm going to guess that you didn't start off here. I want to hear a little bit about the journey of overcoming yourself to get to the point where you get to help other people now find their it. So can we talk a little bit about?

Tameka Anderson: 4:08

that. Oh, you know, I will say I'm just now learning how to embrace the journey, because the journey of like and I wanted to say this to overcome yourself, I think that's genius, it's so good, thank you. Thank you, yes, but literally I have my eyes because things don't work out as planned. And so how do you move forward? Right, it goes back to who do you think you are Like. I love that question. I used to hate the question when people like who do you think you are? I'm just like, yes, who do I think I am? So what happened was I actually grew up in Chicago, illinois. I grew up in foster care because my mom battled addiction my entire childhood. So I grew up in foster care, bouncing from home to home, being labeled the bad kid because, right like I say, I was misunderstood. I was traumatized.

Tameka Anderson: 5:30

I had a lot of trauma going on and the adults, instead of really digging deep to understand what was really happening with me, they decided let's slap a label on her and just push her right on through. So I had very, very challenging times, mostly because it was a lot that I didn't know how to navigate in life. So I fell a lot. I tell my clients I can teach you how to do this thing in 90 days, because it took me almost 90 years, because it took me almost 90 years, right, because it has taken me the time, the journey, the. I can tell you a thousand ways it does not work, because I've experienced it. And so I had to learn how to overcome myself, in a sense, and overcoming the traumatic me by going to therapy, by cultivating a community of supporters that will help me process.

Nicole Tuxbury: 6:46

Things will help me process things, by getting mentors and coaches to help me along the way, because I was a hot mess Me too. Me too, I've been there.

Tameka Anderson: 6:59

A hot mess, and so this is one of the reasons why, like, when I work with clients, they're just like how are you able to do this? It's just like they don't understand how I can help them get from this hot mess to who they think they are. And I told them it's because I was there. I was there, I had to learn, and what I will say is, because I've been down that street already, I can tell you where the potholes are, and so that's literally what I do. I've learned from my journey. I've learned from all the mistakes, all the bruises, all the bumps, all of the ways it didn't work, all of the relationships that I sabotaged in order to become who I am today, to be able to teach my clients the same thing.

Nicole Tuxbury: 7:54

That is amazing. I relate to that so much. My mom passed away when I was one and a half, and so I had a different type of mom trauma, but nonetheless it was there. And what I related to what you were saying is, I remember that what the adults were focused on, what they were concerned with, what they wanted to fix, was my behavior. Not realizing that the behavior is a symptom of not feeling safe, is a symptom of the dysfunction that I was growing up in, right, and so, getting down to the root, um, you know, when I finally managed, I had a vitamin deficiency. All I needed was some vitamins and I my behavior would have changed. You know, um, like, obviously I needed therapy, I needed to talk through a lot of things, but one of the big things was a vitamin, and so I think it's such a big deal to to shine a light to that that you know, if a kid is behaving badly, that's a symptom of something else that's going on. Like, don't focus on the behavior, right, I love that. I love that so much. And so talk to me. Like I named my podcast. There's just a lot of thoughts from everything you said After my book, which is with my editor. Editor, we'll be getting it out soon. Um, and it was.

Nicole Tuxbury: 9:13

I sat down one day and I thought what do I have 10,000 hours of experience in? Like, what can I teach about from from the? You know, from my expertise and as someone who came from you know, having lost my mom at an early age, I had a an accident, sorry, I had an accident on a boat and, um, it left me with a lot of stuff and by the time I was 21, I went to the doctor and I was told you have the back of an 80 year old, you have a back of a disabled elderly woman. Um, you're gonna be in a wheelchair in five years. And so there was a lot and a miscarriage, and there was so much. And I remember being in panic attacks, crying every single day, having panic attacks every single day, and so when I finally sat down and I was like, what do I have these 10,000 hours of experience?

Nicole Tuxbury: 10:06

And it was overcoming myself how can I find joy despite all this bullshit that happened to me? How do I actually enjoy this journey of life? Like I don't want to be dragging myself through every day, like that cannot, that can't be it. Like this kid. That's not, that cannot be what I'm here for. Just to be miserable and medicate myself so I can go do a job, and no like that. That cannot be. And so that's where I overcome yourself.

Nicole Tuxbury: 10:33

And then my podcast was born, and so I relate so much to your story being labeled the bad kid Right and and then carrying that with me, even though I wasn't a bad kid like I didn't do bad things Right, I was just in a lot of pain. So I found that and that what I was lacking one of the things that I was lacking that really helped me change my perspective was gratitude and learning to practice gratitude, and that changed my life. So I want you to talk to me a little bit about what role gratitude played in your journey to discovering the it factor and writing your book and doing all of these amazing things.

Tameka Anderson: 11:11

Oh, this is such a good question. I will say this I didn't know how important gratitude was until the pandemic happened. Oh, so the pandemic happened Right, we're all in the shutdown period. And then Clubhouse was born. So, because Clubhouse was born, people wanted stuff to do, and so I was one of those people and I remember one time I was just so depressed. I was just, it was the worst. I just didn't feel good.

Tameka Anderson: 11:49

So I'm scrolling on Clubhouse to see what's going on and see what I can do to either numb or distract myself. Well, guess what? There was this room titled Depressed. Come in the room. I'm like what? Well, I go into this room not knowing what to expect now, because I'm like wait a minute, what are we doing in here? I go into this room and guess what they're doing. They are literally practicing gratitude. So, like the, the premise of the room was you. When you raise your hand, come up on stage and you say three things that you're grateful for on stage, and you say three things that you're grateful for. As I'm sitting there listening to these people, I begin to smile uncontrollably because I'm just like oh, that's so good. Oh, oh, like. And so I raise my hand and I'm like let me see what three things. So I begin to start focusing on three things that I'm grateful for. Right One of them.

Tameka Anderson: 12:56

I wrote I'm grateful for this room. I was depressed before I came in here. I am literally smiling from ear to ear now. So it's my turn. I get up there and I begin to say I'm grateful, like the first thing I said was the room, and then I talked about my children, and then I talked about I'm grateful because I'm launching a book, because I was. I was literally launching a book and I'm like this is so amazing. I never knew how important gratitude was until gratitude I would say gratitude found me. It found me in a state, a very, very vulnerable state. And now I know that whenever I am feeling those things to open up and to express gratitude Because I always have something to be grateful for and when I focus on what I'm grateful for, the world opens up for me and what I was sad about becomes very, very minute.

Nicole Tuxbury: 14:04

So, yes, it goes to the back burner, right, because that's that's exactly what I talk to people about. It's about shifting your perspective. It's like putting on a different pair of glasses and now you see things a little bit differently. And to me, the magic is how small of a thing can you be grateful for? Like, I like to play a game like, right like the grass, the oxygen, the AC in the house, the water, the fact that we have water. You know, we take those things for granted and gratitude.

Nicole Tuxbury: 14:37

There's like a certain part of our brain that helps us feel it and if we don't use it, it kind of shuts off right Like, just like a muscle. If we don't use it it's going to atrophy. But what's? The only way to rebuild a muscle is to start using it again, and then you can start making it strong right, just like with my back. So, yes, and the only way to do that is to be like well, what can I focus on? What can I be grateful for? And that changes your life, and not only everything that you said, but it also attracts more of that thing to you. So, if I'm grateful for the $2 I've got in my wallet, well, you know what You'll get, another $2 and you're like, oh, I'm grateful for the $4. And now, right, I'm grateful to be filling out my wallet, I'm grateful Whatever it is.

Nicole Tuxbury: 15:23

Whatever you want more of, I tell my clients find what you can be grateful for right now, even if it's. I'm grateful that I have social media and I could literally be like yo, I'm selling something, come buy it. You could change your life today, today, right, and so there's so many things that we can find to be grateful for. So I love it, I love it, I love it. So tell me more about. I want to hear a little bit more about your book, and you mentioned that there is a gift on your website for my audience. I would love to hear a little bit more about that.

Tameka Anderson: 15:58

Absolutely Okay. So the full name of the book is You're it, finding your it factor so you can cultivate, curate and communicate it to the world for purpose. And so what happened with me was I felt purposeless, right. And so, because I felt purposeless, I went on this quest and I was like, well, how do you find your purpose? Like, what does that look like? There's a big event that happens. Like, I'm waiting for the things. And I found this book called the Purpose Driven Life, right. And so there's this like 40 day journey that you go on where you do some activities and stuff. And after doing that, I was like, hmm, okay, that was good, and I'm always thinking about faster, more efficient ways of doing things. And so I said is there a faster, more efficient way to help people find their purpose? I was like, uh, yeah, and so that's what I, that's what I did.

Tameka Anderson: 17:14

I compiled everything that I teach my clients and I said, listen, the three P's are the most important things that you need to understand when you're thinking about the it factor. Right, think of any celebrity like your favorite celebrity. It factor, right. Think of any celebrity like your favorite celebrity. Think of that person. Now, they have the it factor, clearly, because they're a celebrity. A lot of people have noticed that in them. But what is it that they have?

Tameka Anderson: 17:47

And I extracted the three, what I call the three Ps, and that's presence. They have this commanding presence about them, every celebrity that you meet. The reason why they're celebrities is because of the first P, which is the commanding presence. So I talk about how to hone your presence, right? That's the first P. The second P is personality. Every celebrity you meet, whether it's good or bad, they have a personality that's very memorable. I'm talking about you cannot not know their personality, right? So then I speak about how to really refine your personality.

Tameka Anderson: 18:34

That's the second P. And then the final P is power. Every celebrity you know has influencing power. That is one of the reasons why brands pay a lot of money for brand endorsements, because they know if you love this celebrity, all that celebrity has to do is say the word and you're going to buy it, mm-hmm. So yes, those three Ps are what makes us you know our it factor really shine. So that's what the book is about. The book is about really diving deeper into the three Ps and teaching people how to refine it. And so what happens is the first step because, as you see, I have this shirt that says it factor. Visual storyteller.

Tameka Anderson: 19:24

So, I thank you. I have created five different it factor types that everyone will fall into one of them, or a combination of them, depending on your influencing style. Right, and so I have this awesome quiz. I think it's awesome, I know because I made it, but it's on my website, like the uh, your it book website, and so you go on there, take less than two minutes and it will bring you uh up to the quiz. You take the quiz and there there will be like a PDF. Like I think it's so cool. I'm just saying you get a PDF of your itch factor and tips on how you can really shine with it. So I'm excited about it.

Nicole Tuxbury: 20:15

I love that. That is amazing. And I love what you said about the connection, like when a brand and a celebrity connect, because that's something I teach my clients right. Like becoming a guest expert when you come into someone else's market, you coming in to talk to my audience right, you have immediate credibility with my audience because they're like oh, I love Nicole, and if Nicole wants to have Tameka on her podcast, that means I know that Tameka's got something good to say, so I'm going to head over and listen to this episode and I'm going to listen to what she has to say and that's instant credibility, that's instant warming up that audience and so, yeah, it makes a lot, a lot of sense. So I love that. So let us know how can we stay in touch with you, Tameka?

Tameka Anderson: 21:06

Tameka. Well so because people call me fun coach Tameka, you can literally find me anywhere on the web. If you just type in fun coach Tameka, my website is fun coach Tameka. Every social media handler handle fun coach Tameka.

Nicole Tuxbury: 21:15

There you go and then you building your brand, and I absolutely love that. Look at that presence, the authority, and it's so memorable. I love it, I love it, I love it. So thank you so much. So, before we sign off here, what is your final tip, like what's the biggest tip that you give to your audience?

Tameka Anderson: 21:31

We want to know the hottest, the juiciest that I love to leave is remember the gap. Who do you think you are? Who do you think the world will accept? Close the gap. Focus more on who you think you are. Continue to become that person. If you do not like the way you're showing up as that person, all you have to do is change who you think you are and you're good to go.

Nicole Tuxbury: 22:05

I love that. Thank you so much for joining us, Tameka. This has been amazing and we will see you guys next time on the next episode of Overcome Yourself, the podcast. Thanks, bye.