Building Success Through Wellness: A Conversation with Best-Selling Author Esther Avant

Ever wondered why your health habits never seem to stick despite your best intentions? This eye-opening conversation with best-selling author and health coach Esther Avant reveals the surprising parallels between building a successful business and creating sustainable health practices.

Drawing from her 19 years coaching thousands of women, Esther introduces the powerful concept of "big rock habits" - foundational health practices that create significant impact without overwhelming your already busy life. You'll discover why trying to overhaul everything at once nearly always fails, and how focusing on just one habit at a time creates lasting transformation.

The neuroscience behind habit formation takes center stage as we explore why your brain naturally resists change. Through vivid analogies of forging paths through untrodden grass and escaping deeply-rutted dirt roads, you'll gain a new understanding of why habit change feels so challenging - and how to work with your brain rather than against it. This insight alone will transform how you approach any new habit, whether in health or business.

Particularly valuable is Esther's three-part framework for successful change: reduce overwhelm by starting small, seek appropriate support, and practice "compassionate ownership" - the delicate balance between self-compassion and personal responsibility. The discussion also highlights often-overlooked nutritional elements that could literally save your life, as both hosts share personal connections to preventable health conditions.

Whether you're a busy entrepreneur struggling to maintain energy levels, a working parent trying to juggle it all, or simply someone who wants to feel better in your body, this conversation offers practical, science-backed strategies that honor your humanity while helping you create the changes you desire.

Ready to transform your relationship with health habits? Download Esther's free guide "21 Time-Saving Health Facts" at madebymecoaching.com/time and follow her @EstherAvant on LinkedIn, Instagram, and Facebook.

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Esther Avant
• 3:12 The Big Rock Health Habits
• 8:26 Building New Neural Pathways
• 15:39 Compassionate Ownership and Getting Support
• 20:54 Protein, Fiber, and Health Resources
• 22:20 Gratitude and Final Insights

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

hello and welcome back to the next episode of overcome yourself, the podcast. As you know, my name is nicole and I'm so excited to be here today with esther. Now, esther is very exciting a best-selling author, so I can't wait to hear about how she did that, um. But she also talks about health, and you guys know that in my book, my success habits include some like really basic things that aren't necessarily money-making things, and like drinking water and, like you know, like paying attention to what you eat. Those are all really important things that we need to pay attention to as we grow our success, and so I'm very excited to have Esther here to talk to us a little bit more about what it can mean to be healthy as we're on our way to building our businesses. So please, esther, take it away. Tell us a little bit about who you are and who you help.

Speaker 2: 0:54

Thank you so much for the introduction. I am, like you said, an author, a podcaster, a speaker, but first and foremost, a coach. I've worked for the last 19 years in women's health and weight loss coaching and have worked with thousands of women in that time who want to better their health, and what I've seen is that we all have pretty much the same barriers standing in our way, and the ways that we can teach ourselves to overcome them are also applicable to building our businesses, our personal lives every other aspect of our lives benefits when we take better care of ourselves. So most of my clients are working moms, whether it's for their own businesses or for a corporation.

Speaker 2: 1:44

You know the woman who's like kind of trying to do it all and often I'm sure you can relate to this often feel like you're not doing any of the things well enough, and that's one of the things that I've seen is that we tend to put so much pressure on ourselves and expect so much of ourselves that we're almost setting ourselves up for failure. So a lot of the work that I do yes, I focus on, you know, exercise and nutrition and the, the the tactical kind of what to do stuff. But really what makes the biggest difference is the beneath the surface stuff, the mental work and understanding. Why is it that you know I could ask you right now what are, what are healthy habits? And you can give me a laundry list of you know, I know what to do. Why is it that it's so hard to actually do it and do it long enough and well enough that you see the results? So that's really kind of where I, where I dive in as like the human behavior kind of piece of it.

Speaker 1: 2:34

Oh, I love that. That is that's so important, that's so powerful. So tell me more like, like you said, you know a lot of my habits drinking water every day. That's one of my base ones. Like you got to drink water, you got to get your 10,000 steps or whatever number that is for you. So can you tell me a few more like you know? Like of the habits and how do we implement these healthy habits as these busy professionals who run houses, who run businesses, who run families, like there's a lot going on.

Speaker 2: 3:12

Yeah, so you nailed something that I refer to as the big rock habits. That part of why it's hard to really change our health is because we overwhelm ourselves, trying to do way too much, and a lot of that stuff doesn't matter very much. Yeah, exactly, we can all relate to that where you just be like okay, I'm turning over a new leaf and starting tomorrow, I'm doing all these things and it doesn't end up sticking. So you're so much better off identifying those big rock habits and really honing in on those. Daily movement in the form of a step goal is a huge one Making sure that you're hydrated, your strength training, getting in your protein, getting in your fiber, making sure that you're sleeping, you know kind of these, these big things. That it's not revolutionary.

Speaker 2: 3:47

You've heard it all before, but it's one of those like yeah, yeah, I know that. Like, what's the real secret? It's like, well, that is the secret. Doing those things consistently is the secret. So let's figure out how to do that. And that's generally where the struggle is is, if I give you a list of six habits to focus on, you're going to try to do all of those things perfectly, starting immediately, and what ends up happening is that when it's something new, we're not necessarily great at it at first, so that feels uncomfortable and we are prone to giving up. Or we've tried to change so much at once on top of our businesses and our families that it just it feels like one thing too many and we start kind of dropping all the balls that we're juggling. So the key to actually successfully implementing these things is to start with less and give yourself the gift of the time that it takes to really establish a habit.

Speaker 2: 4:43

The same thing applies to our businesses. If you're starting out and you're like all right, I need to grow my TikTok and I need to be on Instagram and I should start a YouTube channel and maybe a podcast and I need to build my email list and I need a freebie, all of a sudden you're so overwhelmed and because you're trying to do so many things, you're not doing any of them particularly well and you're so much better off. Any business coach will tell you, pick one and really devote yourself to that, and once maybe that's up and running and you feel successful with it and you kind of have it on autopilot, then add on another thing. So the same thing applies to our health. Go for some low-hanging fruit first. So you mentioned water. I've got some right here. That's a great one.

Speaker 2: 5:21

To just say, my primary focus right now is to get myself up to you know eight glasses a day, or whatever your goal may be, and you don't put any pressure on yourself to do more than that. And then, once you're doing that regularly, it's like all right, I'm drinking the water, I don't need to give it a whole lot of energy. What's the next thing that I can add on? Can I start taking, you know, two 10 minute breaks during my workday where I take a walk? And now I'm going to start working, working on my steps? And if you give yourself the opportunity to take, you know, say, six months to establish some of these foundational habits, you're going to be so much better off than if you try to do them all at once and kind of fall on your face after, after the first month.

Speaker 1: 6:01

I love that and I talk about that in my book, about how, you know, I dive a little bit into how do habits brain, brain, how do habits work in our brain, and we talk about how we have these little paths in our brain and when we do something, all the time the little neurons are going to take that path. It's going to be very easy. And I allude to, like, if you're walking through a grassy area and you see a path that someone has already walked through, well, it's really easy to follow that path because it's already there. And when we're establishing new habits, what we're doing is we're walking through the grass, there's no path. We're just we're going because we got to make a path. Right through the grass, there's no path. We're just we're going because we got to make a path right. And so it makes sense that if you're trying to walk down six different paths at the same time, none of them are going to get built right. I think that's really, really powerful.

Speaker 1: 6:59

And I just want to mention you said to get to eight glasses of water a day. Start with one. I just want to mention you said to get to eight glasses of water a day, start with one. You don't have to drink eight glasses, chugging them all at once. Start with one glass of water. Like, where can you for me it get your coffee? Well, what happens right after you're done drinking coffee? Like, is it just a plethora of options? No, like I'm done with my coffee.

Speaker 1: 7:32

Or, better yet, alongside my coffee, I've got my bottle of water. I've got my cup of water. It looks like. It looks like a, like a you know, it's a turvish right or like one of my metal cups, but it has a straw, because I, you know, when I used to drink a lot of soda, I used to love drinking out of the straw. So I was like, let me imitate that so that I can incorporate it in my water.

Speaker 1: 7:52

And so now I drink water every day without having to think about it, because when I get coffee I get water, or right after my coffee, I get my water. And so there's no thought. And so now that path has become one of those little grassy paths that's easy to walk down, right? So can you tell me a little bit about that? Can we talk a little bit about the actual psychology of the habits and how we can have some grace on ourselves, because we are going to fall and you know that's part of the magic of the journey is getting back up and doing it again so we can build that path. So can you talk to me a little bit about?

Speaker 2: 8:27

that. Yeah, I love the analogy you made and I use a very similar one of kind of grooving a like a rut. And I grew up in Maine. We used to have the spring fall and I had this long dirt driveway and it was like we would end up with these really deep ruts in the road and when your tires are in them it feels damn near impossible to get yourself out, and that's what it can feel like to start.

Speaker 2: 8:51

A new habit is, if you think about the repetition, right, you're developing these neural pathways in your brain and every time you do a specific habit, that gets strengthened. So now you're trying to do something new. You've got a pretty strong opposing force and I think it's so important to acknowledge that, because most of us don't. Most of us think there's something wrong with me. Why is this so hard for me? I just must be missing something. It's easier for everybody else. What's wrong with me? There's nothing wrong with you. You just have a human brain that is trying to operate efficiently and has developed these pathways to make your life easier. Like, hey, let's not, let's remove some of the decision-making. If we know 99 times out of a hundred you've done this one thing, let's just kind of make that the default. So it's tough for everybody to create new habits. So it's tough for everybody to create new habits.

Speaker 2: 9:55

And also, if you think about, each time you do a behavior, in kind of two columns, you've got the current behavior, the habit that you're trying to change. You probably have thousands of tallies on that side of the column because you have chosen it over and over and over again for not days and weeks, but probably months and years. And now you've got this new behavior, this change you're trying to make, and maybe you've got a dozen tallies on that side. You've been at it for a couple of weeks, right? So if you look at just the sheer numbers, of course you have this strong pull back to the default and of course the default. And of course, when your kind of emotional state is less than ideal, you don't really have the defenses to fight it, right. That's why you can be really you know, quote unquote good for a couple of weeks when life is kind of calm.

Speaker 2: 10:41

But then as soon as you get thrown a monkey wrench, your kid gets sick, or you've got some fire to fight in your business or you go on vacation. As soon as something disrupts the routine. You're just like what happened I fell right back into my old habits. I worked so hard to do this new thing and it felt so easy to slip out of it. That all makes sense. That's you kind of. That's your tires finding that rut again and just slipping back in because it's comfortable and familiar and well-traveled.

Speaker 2: 11:04

So I think it's so important to just normalize that. This is what it's like and it doesn't mean that anything has gone wrong. It just means that you continue to put in the reps and to your point, we are very hard on ourselves. We expect I should be better at this, I should be further ahead, and it feels bad when we're not, but the reality of it is. The only way for it to get easier and to create the new behavior is to let those imperfections go. Give yourself the compassion that you deserve to say like it's OK, this is not the end of the world, and also to see is there anything that I can learn from this? If I keep having the same pattern happen, if every time the weekend hits, my water drinking goes out the window, what can I learn from that? To be more consistent, and over time you'll find that, like with the water. It gets easier and easier to do because you just have the sheer repetition of doing it in easy circumstances and in harder ones.

Speaker 1: 12:01

Yes, actually, I mentioned in my book, like it's talking about practicing gratitude, because that's like my big thing. But I said how you know, practicing gratitude is kind of like you know practicing free throws and, like we remember, michael Jordan was really good at free throws, right, and so I was like you have to practice day in and day out, because when it's time for a free throw, when you really need to, that that's when the pressure is on. You've got both teams right beside you, everybody's yelling, you got the whole stadium watching you. It's probably because a foul just happened, so something bad just happened and you're distraught. So you have to be able to you, you know to to do this practice, whether things are good or whether things are kind of hectic. And so I think it's so important and these are, this is how we've practiced right, because things are going well, and then something happens, oh, the storm hits, and you're like, oh, I fell back into my how do I, you know? And then actually what you said, asking yourselves those questions, getting back on track, and then that's practice, like those are the moments that we need because you know one of the things. Another thing I just keep going back to my book. I don't mean to do that, I'm sorry, but you know, storms are going to happen, like stuff is going to happen. Most things in life are not guaranteed, but shit happens, you know, and we have to be prepared to deal with that. And so having those habits, and gratitude being one of those habits, is like that's one of the reasons why it's so important.

Speaker 1: 13:37

I do want to mention neurodivergent brains work a little different. I've been reading some articles about that and I that, um, autistic brains don't trim. They don't trim off the the. You know, because when we're little, there's like the little branches where the neurons are doing stuff in our brains, and a neurotypical brain will trim some of those little branches. Autistic brains don't. And so if habits take a little bit longer for you or if they seem impossible, again, it's not your fault. Your brain just has way too many pathways to navigate and so it's going to be tough for you.

Speaker 1: 14:17

Okay, so I just want to mention that, because a lot of times neurotypical brains are, you know, the focus, and neurodivergent people, like people with neurodivergent brains, have a hard time with habits, and that could be one of the reasons why. But there's a lot of research coming out, you know. So stay tuned and we'll talk more about that. So talk to me a little bit, esther, about how we bring this together. So, like you help your clients establish these healthy habits, and we have our what did you call them? The big rock habits, what I would call the big domino. Okay, so then, how do we do this? How do we implement this in our day-to-day life? Are there any other habits that are big rock habits that you advise us to pay?

Speaker 2: 15:05

attention to no-transcript. It's still not working. Maybe approach it differently. And that's when I gave myself permission at the time to aim for five to seven. That was a step above what I was no pun intended what I had been currently doing, and it felt like something reasonable to be shooting for. I wasn't so overwhelmed by the magnitude of it that I would shut down after a week, and giving myself a range meant that, like at first it was like, okay, if I get you know 5,001, I'm good. And then, as that became the norm, I started getting you know closer to the upper end of the range and when I was consistently around seven, then I bumped it up and it was seven to nine, that sort of thing. So it took several months to ramp myself up. But then, once I did, I've been averaging 10,000 plus for years.

Speaker 2: 16:34

So that's just one example of taking kind of inventory of your current healthy habits. So you know big rocks your daily movement, your step goal, your strength training, your rest and recovery, your fiber and protein intake, your total caloric intake, your sleep and your stress management. Those are what I consider big rocks Taking inventory of what am I already doing consistently. Well, right there of that list, there are probably two or three that are pretty solid for you. Maybe you always get that sleep and you're like I can set and forget that one. Give yourself credit for what you've already established and then just pick one or two to start ramping up gradually. That's really the key. That's so, so tempting to just kind of jump in with both feet and be like I am tired of feeling this way. I want to be healthier, I want my clothes to fit better, I want to have more energy. So the more I do now, the better off I am. And you have to have kind of, you have to lengthen that time horizon a little bit and say, okay, do I have experience doing this exact thing already and how did it pan out? And if it didn't work out which it didn't, because here I am then what do I have to lose by trying a different approach? So that's one piece of it is really meeting yourself where you are cutting down on the overwhelm.

Speaker 2: 17:44

I think the second piece is asking yourself who can help. Right, we tend to have, whether it's in business or in health or in life. We have this kind of independent resolve of I shouldn't need help, and if I'm asking for help it's because I'm weak and I don't like the way. That feels right. But that's not the case at all. Strong people ask for help because they recognize I want to get from A to B and this person or this thing can help me get there faster or with less frustration. So, whether that's working with a coach or a trainer or just finding a peer support system that normalizes the behavior that you're trying to develop, it's the same thing with a business mastermind you have people who are kind of in the trenches with you, who get what it's like, who can help share ideas, celebrate with you, commiserate with you, who can show you what's possible for you. Having that support is really invaluable.

Speaker 2: 18:39

And then I think the third piece is a skill that I call compassionate ownership, which we've touched on a bit already, which is cutting yourself some slack. You know, understand that you're not going to be perfect and it's not going to be this some slack. You know, understand that you're not going to be perfect and it's not going to be this. You know smooth, bumpless road. There are going to be ups and downs and there are going to be challenges, and that's just part of it that you let those go. You accept that, you know it's okay and also you use those as opportunities to learn and grow and take responsibility for the fact that if your goals are important to you, you're the one who has to figure out the way to make this work.

Speaker 1: 19:16

Yes, I love that and shout out to what you said about protein and fiber. My stepmom died. You know, one of the things that was her downfall was colon cancer, and so that's something that's killing so many young people, and I heard the other day young people are not dying of protein deficiency, but they are dying of colon cancer. So increase your fiber. So I think it's so important.

Speaker 2: 19:39

I lost my mom to colon cancer also, so I'm right there with you.

Speaker 1: 19:43

Oh, wow, Wow. So like, yeah, it's a big deal. So like I know that it sounds really weird, but talk about eating fiber so you could poop. That's so important.

Speaker 2: 19:51

Yeah, no, it really is we call it kind of the final frontier, because it is. It's not an easy thing to do. There are all sorts of you know, protein snacks now and things like that Fiber. Like you have to be really intentional to get in your fiber, a lot more fruits and veggies than people are used to, a lot more whole grains, but it's so, so worth.

Speaker 1: 20:17

And again, we're not talking about overhauling your whole diet. We're saying, like you know, look up a list of high fiber foods and exactly right, right.

Speaker 2: 20:20

Can I go through a can of beans in a week to start? Let's, let's start there and then, and then gradually add.

Speaker 1: 20:25

Yeah, yeah. So I think that's such a big deal. That's a. That's only one of the success habits I'm going to be adding into, because it makes a lot of sense, right, and as women, we need, we need protein. We don't eat enough protein, and so I think it's such a big deal that now you know like we're focusing so much on eating protein. By the time this episode comes out, maybe there's something else going on, but right now I know that protein is a big deal, especially for weight loss, but you know, also for muscle and fiber. So I think that's such a big deal. So how can we stay in touch with you, esther?

Speaker 2: 20:58

Yeah. So if you are someone who has a health and weight loss goal and you want basically the roadmap to follow, my book to your health is that it's intended to be kind of a implement as you go. It walks you through everything we've been talking about how to actually make these changes and make them in a way that sticks. You can buy that on Amazon or wherever books are sold. My podcast is also called To your Health and I have a free download. It's 21 Time-Saving Health Facts and it's intended for busy entrepreneurs and professionals who want to maximize their health but minimize their time commitment, and you can get that at madebymecoachingcom. Slash time and, like we've been talking about, my advice would be to read through it and not try to do all 21 at once, but to pick one to start with and gradually add these to your week to get back time, get back money and make your health more of a cornerstone in your life.

Speaker 1: 21:55

I love that.

Speaker 2: 21:56

And social media. How can we follow you? Yeah, I'm most active LinkedIn, Instagram and Facebook, and my handles are just Esther Avant.

Speaker 1: 22:06

Awesome, and all of those links will be available down in the show notes. And now, esther, as we're signing off, I would like to know actually I have two questions. One what part does gratitude play in our health and in our habits?

Speaker 2: 22:21

Oh, I love this question. This is a great question and, interestingly enough, I have a six year old son and we both keep gratitude journals every night before bed. And, as you were talking earlier about gratitude, I was thinking how much easier it's gotten for him with repetition that it used to be. We'd say do three things, and he'd, you know, have to look around. He's like I'm grateful for my stuffies and you know, it was all kind of very, you know, predictable. And he bumped himself up to five pieces of gratitude a night night and they've gotten so much deeper. And our conversation last night was he said that he was grateful that he's never broken a body part, and I asked what made him think about that? I, you know, did somebody in class, you know, have a cast or something? And and he said no.

Speaker 2: 23:06

And we were talking about how hard it is to be grateful for the things that we take for granted.

Speaker 2: 23:11

Right, you're?

Speaker 2: 23:13

You don't wake up every day thinking, thank goodness I can breathe through my nose today, but as soon as you have a stuffy nose, you're like, ah, why don't I appreciate this more when I can do it?

Speaker 2: 23:23

And I think, you know, gratitude for our health is everything, and I mean so much has to go right for us to have been created as people and for us to have made it as far into our lives as we have. There are so many things that can go wrong and when they're not, that is so worthy of gratitude. So if ever you're feeling ungrateful, do a body scan and think I am grateful for my two eyes, I'm grateful for my nose that can smell, and if you have something like long COVID, you've really become appreciative of a sense of smell. But there's so much to be grateful for and I think we naturally have that kind of negativity bias where we focus on what's not going well, what we don't have, and just flipping the script and reminding yourself that you have this whole laundry list of things to be grateful for is so important.

Speaker 1: 24:14

Yeah, I love that, and our brain is trying to keep us safe and so it has that negativity perspective. But this is how I was able to shift my perspective right and I can see you see the whole world in a different light, and I love that you brought your son into it. In my book I say like I can only imagine the amazing, fantastical things that kids could come up with, to be grateful for things that you might not even notice. So I love that. All right, and then last final big aha moment, like what is that big tip that you give your clients that they're like oh my God, this was worth every penny I paid you. Like this is it.

Speaker 2: 24:50

I think the the big secret is what everybody wants, and the reality is there isn't one. Whatever it is that you're kind of struggling with, there's probably not this one magic fix to it. The unglamorous side of this is that there's probably a lot of small things that are going to make a little bit of a difference, and if you start stacking those on each other, that makes a big difference. So I'd say that the key is stop looking for that one big thing and just start doing the unsexy basics that we've been talking about, and that's where the magic comes from.

Speaker 1: 25:23

I love that. They are unsexy basics, aren't they? But they get shit done. I love that so much. Okay, that's awesome. That's definitely gonna be quoted from this episode, all right. So thank you so much, esther. This has been absolutely fantastic, and when we started talking about health, I think people were like, oh great, this is gonna be somebody telling me to eat more broccoli. So we did not go that way and I'm so excited about that.

Speaker 1: 25:47

Right. This was a very like brainy part of health and and just very holistic. So I really appreciate that and, um, and I appreciate you being here with us today. Thank you so much. Thank you, it was a blast awesome and we will catch you guys next time on the next episode of overcome yourself, the podcast. Bye.