Weaponizing Joy: The Strategic Path to True Fulfillment with Jennifer Gomez

What if joy could be your most powerful weapon? Not against others, but against fear, burnout, and unfulfillment? 

In this transformative conversation, Jennifer Gomez (The Joyful Strategist) reveals how weaponizing joy can become your strategic advantage in leadership and life. She shares her personal journey from external happiness to authentic inner joy after experiencing a complete life reset that forced her to examine what truly brought fulfillment.

Jennifer distinguishes between happiness—a fleeting emotion tied to external circumstances—and joy—a sustainable state of peace and contentment. Positioned just below enlightenment on the emotional spectrum, joy remains curiously underexplored in psychology despite its transformative power.

We explore the concept of "joy anchors"—those small moments of gratitude or contentment that can sustain us through challenging times. By intentionally creating and remembering these anchors, we train our brains to notice more positive experiences around us, creating an upward spiral of joy.

For leaders especially, joy becomes a competitive advantage. How many organizations suffer from burnout, low retention, and toxic cultures because leaders operate from fear rather than joy? When we lead from authentic joy, influence becomes natural and impact more meaningful.

Perhaps most revolutionary is Jennifer's challenge to flip the traditional 80/20 rule. What if we spent 80% of our energy on activities that bring joy and only 20% on those that drain us? This isn't about abandoning responsibilities but redesigning our approach to life.

Ready to weaponize joy in your own life? Connect with Jennifer for a complimentary consultation at jen@thejoyfulstrategist.com or follow her journey on Instagram at Jen.Gomez_.

Chapters

• 0:01 Welcome to the Joyful Strategist
• 1:29 Weaponizing Joy: A New Perspective
• 5:03 The Fear of Joy and How to Overcome It
• 9:06 Joy Anchors: Finding Gratitude Daily
• 18:36 Leading with Joy: From Leader to Legend
• 27:09 The 80/20 Rule of Joy and Connection
• 30:54 Final Thoughts and Finding Your Joy

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

hello there and welcome back to the next episode of overcome yourself, the podcast. As you know, my name is nicole and I'm so excited to be here today with jennifer, and jennifer is I don't remember the exact title, but she teaches about joy, and you guys know how much I love talking about gratitude and joy, so I'm gonna let her take it away. Please, jennifer, introduce yourself, tell us a little bit about who you are, what you do and who you help.

Speaker 2: 0:29

Thank you so much, nicole. It is such a gift to be here with you today and share this message with your audience. This has been such a fun journey, just being on podcasts and being able to speak to big audiences and coach one-on-one. It has been such a gift. So the name that kind of found me is the Joyful Strategist, because it is one thing to talk about finding joy, but how do we really strategically use it to our advantage as we're growing in our life, in our leadership and building a legacy, whatever that means for you. And so it's been such a journey and it's been such a gift and I'm just so thankful to be here with you today.

Speaker 1: 1:12

I'm so excited to have you. This is amazing. Now, one of the things that stood out for me when I was reading, you know, the questionnaire was you said that you weaponize joy, and I was like, whoa, that is intense. So tell me about that, please.

Speaker 2: 1:28

Well, what do you hear? What do you think of? Now, maybe not you, nicole, but what do the majority of us think of whenever we think of joy? We think of, most likely, christmas decorations, or we think of something that we're not really gonna have unless we achieve something. We think of joy as something that we get, or something that is kind of silly. Right, you think of being joyful.

Speaker 2: 1:56

You think of, probably, elves during Christmas, and I really wanted to rewrite that because, as a mother of two and someone who was so driven for success for so long, it wasn't until everything was ripped away from me that I realized how unfulfilled and lost I actually was. And everyone always said but you're so joyful, you're so joyful, you're so joyful. But I really wasn't on the inside, and I was able to two things happen that were really profound in my life, which was I was able to see what really brought me joy and what I was, I was kind of thinking, brought me joy, but it actually was leading to to to my unfulfillment, because it was what everyone wanted for me, not necessarily what I wanted for myself. And then I started to realize okay, how can I create a life where I can be this joyful person on the outside, but actually feel that on the inside as well. And so and this is what I do with my clients, this is what I do in my keynotes is I get people to get really curious about where they came from, where they are now and where they think they're going.

Speaker 2: 3:12

And this is where it gets so interesting, because a lot of people cannot design their thought for the future. They're like, well, I don't know, or. Or I think I'm going in this direction, or I think I'm going in that direction, and then we get to pull in, or or I think I'm going in this direction, or I think I'm going in that direction, and then we get to pull in. Okay, are you actually joyful, and how can you use that to your advantage? How many times have we seen a leader in a position that they weren't ready for, or a leader who is completely burnt out, or a leader that leads with fear Every single time, right? So when I talk about weaponizing joy, it's about finding the joy within yourself and then using it to your competitive advantage. Like how can you influence by being the joyful leader? How can you make change by being the joyful leader? But we're not talking about joyfully externally. We're talking about getting curious about what internally brings you joy and then being able to run with that to fulfill the success that's waiting for you.

Speaker 1: 4:19

That is amazing. I love that. In my book, I talk about my journey to finding gratitude and then how happiness I realized that I stopped trying to be drugs. I'm talking about just the natural reaction that happens in our brain, and then we're happy and then we're not, and then you're not happy and it's not sustainable, right? So I talk about joy being more of a cognitive process, Like Dr Brene Brown talks about. Hope is a cognitive process and I'm like joy is a perspective. It's a cognitive process that you filter everything else through. So can you tell me your thoughts on that?

Speaker 2: 5:11

Absolutely the first thing that comes to mind I don't know if you've heard this before, but joy is this if you look at a spectrum of emotions, it's the top of the emotional spectrum is enlightenment. Enlightenment, that is a full state of being, to be completely enlightened. And the second emotion is joy, or feeling right, and that is the least talked about emotion in all of the spectrum of emotions in the world of psychology, which really fascinated me. If you're that close to enlightenment, why don't we talk more about that? So you hit the nail on the head of. Joy is not happiness. Happiness is a fleeting feeling. Happiness is something that you experience when you're giddy about something right, but joy is a sense of peace. It is a sense of complete contentment, complete control.

Speaker 2: 6:11

I often think of I randomly started teaching a workout class. Okay, when I say randomly, like the world got knocked, I got knocked over completely, lost all my income. And all of a sudden I have a message in my in my inbox and it's from a studio here, come take a free class. And, and it was. I felt happy in that moment Cause I was like oh my gosh, nicole, I've made it, I'm an influencer, I'm getting a free class, like I was so excited, it was so silly. But I walk in there and I take a couple of classes and it's fine, and she goes, do you want to be an instructor? And I I was like what, what, what? No, I'm trying to, like, build my income back.

Speaker 2: 7:06

And she said something that that really, really shifted perspective for me.

Speaker 2: 7:10

She said she said I know what it's like to build a business and if you're not taking care of your health while you're doing that, like it's not going to be a priority.

Speaker 2: 7:20

So this is a way that you can make it a priority for yourself and, as someone who loves an opportunity to monetize on something that makes you feel good, I get to make $20 an hour teaching this class, which is so great. But when you talk about joy, I think about the breath work at the end, and I take it so seriously because we just breathe so quickly in our life. It's just crazy how we're keeping all of our breath in our chest. I'm not sure if people are listening or watching, but we breathe so short. But whenever you take that moment to really be intentional and take a deep breath in for a four count, hold for a four count and then exhale for a four count. You feel this deep sense of relaxation and centeredness and that right there, that moment of pure bliss and relaxation and knowing that you are safe and loved and in control and in power, that is a moment of joy to me.

Speaker 1: 8:20

That is so powerful and I love how you highlighted the spectrum and it makes me think about the opposite, because, dr Brené Brown, this is in my book I quoted her so to talk about this idea, right About the fear of joy. So can you touch a little bit on the fear of joy, because a lot of us feel joy. You know, you look at your kid and you're like, oh my God, they're so adorable, that's my heart. And then all of a sudden you just imagine all these horrible things that could happen and you're just taking it away from yourself in that moment. So can you talk to me a little bit about the fear of joy and how we can overcome that?

Speaker 2: 8:59

Yes, yes, yes, yes. That is a complete mindset, beautiful opportunity to shift. Okay, I often like to say that there's two sides to the coin. Right, you've got one side of the coin where the terrible things can happen. You've got the other side of the coin where nothing can happen. The way that that coin lands is completely out of your control.

Speaker 2: 9:27

When you think optimistically, when you think about the side of the coin, that's not the bad. When you think about the joy, when you lean into the joy, there's things that happen physically, literally, like in the world of physics, that will happen in your life. If you think about like attracts, like positive attracts positive. If you are constantly thinking about all of the negative, you are missing out on all of the good, all of the good that could be happening, that you could be attracting to you, that you could be experiencing. For example, you often see people who I used to call them like the Eeyores of the world, where they just have those clouds above their heads and they're just sad and they're just looking. They're looking for things to happen and they cannot get themselves out of it and things just keep happening and keep happening and keep happening. Because they're only looking at that one side of the coin, they're only looking at the fear of what could happen. But there's a whole other side of the coin and that person who will call them? I don't know the optimist right? The person who you're like, we'll call them. I don't know the optimist right, the person who you're like oh, they just get everything and they're just so perfect and they just get it all. It's because they look at the other side of the coin. They're the ones saying, gosh, the day's waiting for me and I can't wait to see what it has. My son is beautiful and he is wonderful, and could he get in a car accident tonight? Could my husband get in? We often talk about that a lot in our family. If my kids are fighting with my husband or with me, I'm like I might not come home. Okay, like. These are the moments that are so precious and that are so important. At the end of the day, we have one life to live. Do you really want to spend it looking at that left side of we'll call it the left side of the coin? It's filled with fear.

Speaker 2: 11:32

Now, there's a whole other thing about this, though, nicole, because I do feel that, yes, there are people that are afraid of what could happen. I also think there are people that don't think they are worthy of living a life, and they may not even realize that. I work with a lot of people women especially that are afraid to cut the tapestry that has been woven for them and start weaving a new one, because they have lived this same life for so long. And joy is not for me. I'm not meant to live a life of joy, I'm not meant to live a life of success, and I ask them to have the courage to get curious. Have the courage to get curious of why, why you think that this is not in your control? Because, as we all know, there are things that are in our control and things that are not in our control. The way that the coin flips, it's not in our control, but the way that we look at it, or even our ability to take that left side of the coin and say, yeah, I know, let me look at the other side, that's in our control. So that is really what I think about fear and joy.

Speaker 2: 12:53

And fear is a thief of joy too. Fear will just steal it away from you. So the more that you can just say yes, I see you, I actually like to, um, to give it a name. I call her Wanda and I'm so sorry if there's a Wanda on this show that's listening and you're like, oh my gosh, you're calling me. Fear, it is not personal, that is just the name that I came up with. But when you can actually personalize it and be like Wanda, I hear you. Thank you for trying to protect me. We're going to go over here with Samantha, whatever you want to name joy Like. Once you put that at the head of your table, you're able to really lean into this alter ego, which is a really fun exercise as well.

Speaker 1: 13:33

Yes, and I talk in my book about, you know, the. The foundation is gratitude and creating the habit right, because this is something that we're going to have to learn to do and and do it over and over and over. It's. It's not like a passive thing that you just learn it and now it's done, right. We have to choose that every single day. Is you know, what can I be grateful for today? Right, and that's why I always encourage to start with three things that you're grateful for, even if it's just the air you're breathing, the cup that you have, the. You know, having running water, having air conditioner I live in Miami, so that's very important. I'm always so grateful for the cold air.

Speaker 2: 14:10

I live in Louisiana, so I get it.

Speaker 1: 14:16

Yeah, okay, so you're totally right. I'm always like proactive, like I'm just so grateful for you AC. You're the best AC that's ever been, like you just stay doing your thing. But I'm also grateful right for like the sun shining, the trees. You look outside and what's cool is the more you do it intentionally, the more it happens unintentionally. You just look at something and you're like, oh, I'm so grateful for this and so it's so important building up that habit. That is amazing.

Speaker 2: 14:39

There are two things that I think of is like this is so funny, but somebody said this the other day. They said Delulu is the Salulu. Like, when you live in a land of delusion, of just like really lean in. Like how can you wake up and say, wow, this is a beautiful. You're going to feel so silly, you're going to feel so extreme, but then you're going to come back to a sense of normalcy. What you just said, like how can you really lean in to how amazing the world is and the life that you have is, so you can come down a little bit into this state of just finding that gratitude every day. And then I actually created something. Well, I think I created it. I don't know, it might be out there in the world somewhere.

Speaker 2: 15:21

You know, we create things and then we're like, wait a minute. That other person said this too must be a great idea. But I call it joy anchors. And it's when you find that moment of gratitude. You could have the worst day. You could step in a puddle, you could catch up down the front of your shirt, you could get a terrible phone call, but you're holding on to that one moment of gratitude, that one moment where you felt that inner peace, that inner alignment, that inner centeredness, that joy, that burst of joy. And if that is seeing your child smile at you, or maybe seeing your dog in the morning, or maybe seeing the sun shining, or if maybe a new plant that you thought died has a little bud on it, like those little molecular moments hold onto that so that everything throughout the day that may have really turned you into an Eeyore we'll just call Eeyore, like you can say.

Speaker 2: 16:16

You know, but I had that really beautiful moment earlier and psychologically it will keep you from going down the well, which then attracts more negativity toward you. Physically, right, you're now looking. You've now rewired your brain. Instead of looking for things that are bad, that are happening to you, you're now looking for the good. It is a. It's fascinating how powerful our brains are, that just making that intentional shift of saying I'm going to think about the thing. That really brought me joy because that in your brain it rewires your brain to then pivot you, redirect you strategically to then find the good throughout the day.

Speaker 1: 16:59

I love that. Actually, we talked about this on another episode, reticular activation, which I called in my book the red car syndrome, right, and it's when, because you notice something, your brain looks for more of it, like it's. It's very basic science. This is not woo woo, this is not magical. It's things that were already in front of you that we haven't noticed. And it sounds, it sounds wild, but it really. It really does happen.

Speaker 1: 17:27

Like you know, like when I started practicing gratitude, literally things that were right in front of you that you couldn't see them for the potential that they had, like those glasses you had on, they were just messing up your vision and you didn't even know what you had. And then that helps you take those baby steps, right, and it helps you create those habits and start living in those moments of joy, especially for us who are neurodivergent. Right, we might be somewhere else, like you're in the past, past, you're kind of depressed and you're living back all those things that were happening, or you're anxious because you're focusing on all these things that can happen. And when we practice gratitude, it brings us here. We're in this moment, right now. We're safe, we take our breaths, we do our box breathing, like you said, um, that changes everything. That changes everything.

Speaker 1: 18:14

Like, like I know, because it changed everything for me, like I was literally there, um, and, and that's what I did. So I think it is amazing that you're sharing this message of joy. That's exactly what you were saying, right, that you're like I don't know if someone else talked about it, but here we are we're both sharing the message of joy, um and, and gratitude, and living a wholehearted life, just like Dr Brené Brown. Oh, my God, I love it.

Speaker 2: 18:39

That's so beautiful and you know, nicole, when you had that, when you had that moment, however many years or months or days, you know whenever that was what has your life looked like since then? Like, can you see the correlation? I'm sure your audience is like, yeah, she talks about it all the time, but like if you could quantify it, um, into a yes or no. And here's why, like what do you think ripple affected whenever you found that joyful alignment?

Speaker 1: 19:11

overflow, I think, is the word, because it was. I changed what was inside of me and that's how. What changed what came out of me, because I was full of fear, I was full of anger, I was full of trauma, I was full of hurt, pain, I was full of all of those things and that was spewing out. And so I think that, in filling myself up with, you know, finding finding myself, you know finding spiritual practice, finding gratitude, and so now it's the, what I teach, the things I talk about, it comes from a pace of overflow, which is exactly what you're talking about is you're changing on the inside and then all these things pour out of you so that, to circle back around, you don't become a leader who gets burnt out, you don't have to lead from fear because you are firm in yourself, you have a foundation and you operate from that. And so I think that's my word overflow.

Speaker 2: 20:11

I love that. I love that so much and you're so right. I mean, how many of us, especially leadership teams, of helping them understand why their retention is low? Because they're leading from a place that they don't even realize. I have one client that I am working with and he, although incredibly confident on the outside, is struggling with feeling enough on the inside because he's younger and everyone in his profession is older, and so he thinks that he doesn't bring enough to the table. And so we're, I'm helping him tap into joy as a weapon by saying get into that joyful alignment with yourself, realize the value that you bring. You are enough. And then we do because I love public speaking, we do some public speaking strategies as well to help him really use joy to create influence, because it's not about selling yourself, it's not about selling your product, but how can you be so aligned with your joyful self, with your joyful leadership, to where it's pouring out of you, and people can't help but receive it.

Speaker 1: 21:46

I love that. I love that so much and I love how positioning joy as a weapon. But it's not a weapon against others, it's not a weapon against yourself, it's against the darkness, it's against the fear, it's against the sadness, and I think that's so important.

Speaker 2: 22:01

Yes, and the imposter syndrome like sit down, wanda, we don't need you. It is a weapon against the negative and all the disbelief.

Speaker 1: 22:16

Yes, yes, ludacris, move, ble, bleep, get out the way. That was, that was a song that really helped me get out of my own way. Just, you know, like sitting at the top of your lungs, just move, get out the way and and, but yes, absolutely, um, yeah, it worked, it worked for me. So, like, if that's what you need to do sometimes, you just, you know, just turn up up the speakers and rap a little bit.

Speaker 2: 22:39

Yes, who has a great podcast about music and redirecting you neurologically is Mel Robbins. She has one podcast episode that's about, like, finding joy through music and it's because and sometimes it's not joy, but there's definitely some emotions that help like get triggered by certain sounds, and it's because it's I think, it's sight, no, I think it's sound and smell is our, our brains get triggered emotionally, um, with sound and with smell, um, and that's why you're like, oh, this is familiar to me, or, or you can close your eyes and you can go back to that moment, and so that's why you're like, oh, this is familiar to me, or you can close your eyes and you can go back to that moment, and so that's a great example of another joy anchor, like, is there a moment where it's your childhood? How much joy did we have as children? Right, we were invincible. We were literally invincible. The worst things could be happening to us. We've probably blocked all of this out because of childhood trauma, but we, like, we hold onto the joy and the courageousness of who we are. And how can we bring more of that into our work? How we?

Speaker 2: 23:45

I often say to my clients, like, how can you live life? Like a big playground where you just have so many things to go play with, and it's a little scary. But once you do it you realize it's not so hard. And then you get courageous to go on the big slide. Like, what's the big slide to you in your life? And how can we conquer that? How can we? How can we add some courage to go try it and see what it feels like? And if it's scary, that's okay, you know. If you fall off, that's okay. That's what doctors are for.

Speaker 2: 24:14

But you learn what you love, you learn what you don't love, and then you get to really craft your life by design through that. I think you said this earlier, that focal point of joy. You used a different word, though it was a viewpoint of joy, something like that. I really like that Perspective. Yeah, a lens, I think you said lens. Okay, lens.

Speaker 1: 24:40

Yeah, it's like like what's the movie National Treasure? Right, that he had those glasses, and like when he moved this stuff and all of a sudden there's a whole new level of things. That's it's. It's almost a negative connotation.

Speaker 2: 24:52

Like, oh, I really walked through this house with rose colored glasses on. But what if we change the perspective on that? And what if we said this is what I was able to do because I saw things through rose colored glasses and it's not bad. It was actually an opportunity for growth and learning. So just know, there may be a book one day called Do it, do it, do it. I'm currently working on one called Live by Design Taking you from Leader to Legend, really talking about influence and leadership into legacy. And you cannot have a legacy unless you really have an understanding of who you are and you're impacting others around you, because it's not about you, but it starts with you. And how can you? I've said this earlier, but how can you have the courage to get really curious about what's holding you back from the impact that you could be making in a positive way instead of a negative way, which a lot of us are, and we don't even realize it?

Speaker 1: 26:14

Yes, and speaking of which you mentioned that you have a gift for the audience to help them figure that out with you, so can you tell us about that?

Speaker 2: 26:23

Yes, yes, yes. Thank you, Nicole. So I would love to invite anyone that's interested to a 20 minute call, just so that I can hear a little bit about where you're at and how I might be able to give you some quick redirections, quick tips on how to find a little more joy in your life, especially if you're looking for that next level, that next era, confidence in your life and in your career, or even in your community or in your family. So you can reach out to me directly. I would love to get a call set up with you, Completely complimentary. You can email me at jen J-E-N at thejoyfulstrategistcom.

Speaker 1: 27:04

Awesome, and how can we stay in touch with you? Follow you on social media.

Speaker 2: 27:08

Yes, so I have a Instagram. Is Jen dot Gomez underscore. I had to think about it for a second J. E N period Gomez underscore. I'm on LinkedIn as well as Facebook, so follow on any of the platforms and I would love to see you there. You can also direct message me. I'm currently handling all my social media platforms, so you would get directly in touch with me. I know that some people it's a little hard to get in touch with them, but but I'm there and ready to help you find more joy.

Speaker 1: 27:41

That is amazing. Thank you so much. And before we sign off yes, of course, um, before we sign off, I would love to know what is one final tip you have for the audience, like that big tip, the one that gives your, your um, your audience, your clients, their biggest aha moment.

Speaker 2: 27:58

We want the juicy stuff so joy can be broken down into journey of you. It really starts with you. It starts with you getting curious. It starts with you having the courage to get really deep within yourselves and once you do that, you will start to see that your energy really does affect everything in your life the way you carry yourself, the way you carry yourself, the way you talk to yourself, the way you talk to others, the way that you dream. Are you overwhelmed, are you stressed. Start to ask yourself why, and here's the biggest thing that I want you to do If you've ever heard of the 80-20 rule, normally 80% is going towards things that are stealing our joy and 20% are feeding into it.

Speaker 2: 28:54

What if you flip that on its head? What if today or tomorrow or whenever you're listening to this podcast, you only did things that brought you joy? I know that sounds crazy and maybe it's not going to be a night and day, but what if you started to eliminate the things that were stealing your joy and you started to lean into the things that were bringing you joy, whether that be in your career, whether that be in your family, whether that be in your family, whether that be in your community, etc. Flip the 80 20 and see how your life truly will change.

Speaker 1: 29:32

I love that and baby steps like do one thing at a time. Maybe there's a meal that you don't like, just don't make it anymore. Make something else or add in something you do like, because moms are notorious for making stuff everybody else likes. And then what they like gets put on the back burner. But no, make your thing. And then if they don't want it, they can order pizza with their own money. Like go do your thing.

Speaker 2: 29:54

Yes, take a deep breath and especially with kids, my gosh, the piece of advice that someone gave me as a mother it really changed my life was your kids, at least when they're younger, your kids life mission is not to frustrate you, it's not. And so once I realized that, I was like, okay, they just don't know how to process their emotions, they just don't know what they're feeling. They have had no executive leadership coach telling them I mean, shoot, even at 40, 50 years old, a lot of people still don't have emotional regulation right. So how can we expect a five-year-old, nine-year-old, 15-year-old to emotionally regulate? You have to come down to their level and show love, like unconditionally but not just for everybody else, for yourself too, for everybody else, for yourself to the negative talk has to stop. Wanda's got to sit down. Yes, yes, yes, I love it, you've got to let that joy lead.

Speaker 1: 30:55

Yeah, I was gonna say, if you're, if we're teaching like corporate rooms full of adults, then yes, little kids need some grace. But yeah, taking those baby steps and little by little, if you just switch out one thing every now and then imagine, then everything you do, you'll actually enjoy not I mean 80% of what you do, right, because you still got to like clean the toilet and stuff and you're not going to like love that, but it's kind of important, right, but I absolutely love that so much. Thank you so much for being here with us, jen. This has been amazing and we will catch you guys next time on the next episode of Overcome Yourself, the podcast.

Speaker 2: 31:33

Bye. Thank you all.