Abundance Starts Within with Michele Novack

We explore how abundance begins with self-love, not paychecks. Michelle shares her story of trauma, boundaries, and building systems that turn chaos into calm so we can live, not just survive.

• redefining abundance beyond money
• healing from trauma and ending self‑sabotage
• daily practices for self‑love and gratitude
• boundaries, fear, and reframing beliefs
• money stories, pattern breaks, and simple systems
• modeling behavior in parenting and relationships
• wonder, solitude, and nervous system calm
• practical rituals that build self‑trust

All those links will be available down in the show notes wherever you’re listening

Chapters

• 0:12 Welcome & Michelle’s Introduction
• 0:48 Roots, Resilience, and Identity
• 3:18 Choosing to Live, Not Just Survive
• 3:28 Mindset Shift to Abundance
• 5:57 Defining Abundance Beyond Money
• 6:40 Trauma, Self-Sabotage, and Healing
• 11:16 Rock Bottom, Self-Love, and Acceptance
• 14:23 Fear, Boundaries, and Reframing Beliefs
• 18:31 Parenting, Modeling Behavior, and Accountability
• 21:29 Success Without Self-Worth
• 23:16 Gratitude, Goals, and Daily Clarity
• 25:20 Money Stories and Breaking Scarcity Cycles
• 29:29 Levels of Abundance: The Laundry Analogy
• 33:29 Seeing Abundance Everywhere
• 35:59 Wonder, Kids, and Presence
• 39:23 Solitude, Affirmations, and Consistency

Transcript

Roots, Resilience, and Identity

SPEAKER_00 0:12

Hello there guys and welcome back to the next episode of Overcome Yourself the Podcast. As you know, my name is Nicole, and I'm so excited to be here today with Michelle. Now, Michelle is a multi-passionate entrepreneur. She does work in cybersecurity, if I'm not mistaken. But she's written an amazing book and she's got so many things going on. So I'm gonna let her take it away. Michelle, please introduce yourself. Let us know a little bit about who you are and who you help. There's a lot, but let us know what you got going on.

SPEAKER_01 0:47

Absolutely. Well, thanks, Nicole. You know, I'm a proud mother and grandmother, first of all. You know, I grew up in Yonkers, New York. My roots have shaped my great resilience. You know, growing up in the 80s in the Bronx, Manhattan, Queens, Long Island, um, I've learned like real life lessons on the streets, which taught me, you know, some tough lessons, but also uh instilled in me integrity, respect, and love of myself, right? You had to be very resourceful back then and take no nonsense and find a way. And I still carry those values uh with me every day and everything I do. You know, I'm a funny, energetic, and love to dance type of person. Um, I love writing, reading, you know, nature, boating, put me on a boat, I'm set for life. Sitting on a beach, you know, I enjoy good conversation and good company. I'm a foodie. Love it. I love eating all over the world. And, you know, I'm always seeking to learn and share what I know with others. You know, I don't, I have a motto, I you know, I like living, not just being alive. And I think that's very important, right? You know, as an independent author, business owner, and trainer, I'm passionate about, you know, inspiring others, shifting their mindset to embrace the abundance, you know, within a journey that I share in my book, 21 Days of Abundance. Whether I'm mentoring, you know, writing, or simply cheering on my family, I believe in, you know, living fully, living with kindness and hoping others discover their own strength and you know, possibilities. It's really kind of that I love that so much.

Choosing to Live, Not Just Survive

Mindset Shift to Abundance

SPEAKER_00 2:23

Um, I think it's such a big deal what you mentioned about living life and like enjoying it. Um, because as someone who dealt with a lot of depression, daily panic attacks, like crying multiple times a day, I came to a point where I made a decision and I was like, if I'm gonna live, like, you know, I had just lost my baby, things were really dark, and I was like, is this it? Am I just gonna like waste away and just let myself, you know, be nothing? Or am I gonna live? And I was like, but if I'm gonna live, like it's gonna have to be fun. I'm gonna have to enjoy this. Like, it's not gonna be me dragging myself through life because I got a lot of years ahead of me, and so this can't be it. This can't be it. So, can you tell me a little bit about that shift for you and what advice you have for anyone who's in that moment and and wants to just live, like uh, like live life, not just survive, right?

SPEAKER_01 3:21

Yeah, you know, Nicole, I think we've all had personal journeys that have impacted our lives substantially, right? You know, I wrote two different books. You know, the first is shifting your mindset to abundance. The book is a personal roadmap to transforming like the scarcity thinking into abundance of mindset. Like you said, you had to come to a point in your life where you had to make a decision to say, am I gonna be alive or am I gonna live? And they're completely two different things. You know, it's one day at a time, drawing from those real life experiences, taking the actionable things in your life to actually make you feel like you're living, right? You know, it guides you through like a self-discovery, um, but it also empowers you to grow. Um, you know, and that book for me was fundamental in everything I am today and who I'm still becoming. So let me add that, right? Because when you have experienced um deep trauma, hurt, uh, psychological warfare, if you would, you battle that every day of your life. That it never goes away, right? Every second, yeah, every second, right? And it's in those moments where you embrace it, and that's the shift there, right? And that mindset, right? You know, unlocking the potential to create more joy and fulfillment in everything that you do. It's living fully, right? And then inspiring others and making that abundance in your life a new normal. And that's the tough man, it's not easy.

Defining Abundance Beyond Money

SPEAKER_00 5:09

Yeah, well, it's seeing the abundance, right? Because actually, um, I once heard there is no such thing as a lack of abundance. You can have an abundance of lack, but there's no such thing as lack, there's no lack of abundance. Um, so can you talk to me a little bit about because we're talking about these are some like kind of high-level concepts here. When we're talking about abundance, I think a lot of people think about money and scarcity, they think about money, but it's so much more than that, right? Because there's an abundance of time, there's an abundance of oxygen, there's an abundance of light, there's an abundance of so many things where it's not just about money. So, can you can you talk to me a little bit about like just define what is abundance, what is scarcity? What are we really talking about here?

Trauma, Self-Sabotage, and Healing

Rock Bottom, Self-Love, and Acceptance

Fear, Boundaries, and Reframing Beliefs

SPEAKER_01 6:00

Yeah, well, for me, abundance, I think uh was one of the hardest lessons I had to learn was to love myself first, right? And appreciate everything in my life. I had to learn how to self-stop stop self-sabotage everything I do and stop manifesting that negativity, right? Every moment of the day, from the time I was young, I had struggles. Watching my parents divorce, my dad was very aggressive with us, my father, my grandfather molested me. I turned to the streets to fill that, you know, void and found more emptiness, right? You know, I had a lot of friends, but I never felt loved. I felt broken over and over and over again. And, you know, like you said, finding the abundance in lack. Well, I found the abundance in being hurt, right? And it made me make some very poor choices as a kid, a teenager, and even as an adult, you know, turn the page. I think, you know, Nicole. I I think I was at least like 17 when I moved out on my own, right? Got two jobs, started college, but then life happens. You know, I got pregnant and it became another turning point to drive myself to survive, not only for myself now, but for my daughter. I was a single mom from that point on for 11 years. And then I met my current soon-to-be ex-husband. I like to say it that way. But uh, this turned out to be a 19-year disappointment and disaster. So when you talk about abundance, right, I had an abundance of disappointment and disaster that I had to deal with. I had the harsh reality of living with a narcissist for all those years, which was which just about broke me in two. The gaslighting, the verbal abuse, the mind games, the constant lies. It destroyed my self-respect that I had for myself and the love I had inside me. Okay, and made me second guess everything of who I was, who I am as a person, and who I really wanted to be. But it taught me the most valuable lesson as well. And I'm grateful for that, right? You know, I needed to hit rock bottom in this relationship in order to examine all my relationships that I held on to. I needed to identify the self-limiting beliefs in myself that created patterns of toxicity within these relationships that I accepted. Right. I accepted when everything inside of me was screaming, this is not right, right? I didn't trust myself. I had no self-worth, no love of myself, and I needed to figure out why. I always did a lot of good for everyone. You know, I'm a very caring-giving person. I'm the type of person who's loyal to a fault and would give my shirt off the back to anybody who needed it. But this left me empty inside to the point where I found myself in a bad headspace over and over again, and the ideations of suicide and attempts, right? I had to overcome it. You know, and the last time around, I said, you know, that's it. It something woke up inside of me. I sought help and I met a wonderful person, Lynn, right, who helped me learn that I needed to love myself first before I could do anything else. You know, I shifted how I started to look at my entire life up until now, and then realized, you know, I had a lot to be thankful for, but I needed to dig deep, right? That was just the simple answer. And I need to do the work within, I had to peel back the proverbial layers of the wounds inside, face them with courage, understand the impacts, all the fear, the anxiety, like you said, the self-hurt that it caused me, uh, the self-destruction, and most importantly, finally accept it. Agree for it and release it. You know, you know, I had to overcome the fear of being happy and being vulnerable. That's what I learned about abundance, right? Abundance is many, many forms and many, many things to many, many people. It's just how you put it in your own perspective, but in a good way. I learned that our mind is the most powerful thing we ever and understanding how to reprogram and change how we view ourselves and the reality around it can happen if you learn to love yourself first. And I'm gonna keep repeating that love yourself first. Overcoming your fears is just about pushing past the moment of doubt, right? It's about a commitment to the ongoing work of self-awareness, growth, and action. Doesn't mean you're not allowed to cry, doesn't mean you're not allowed to fail, it doesn't mean that you know you have doubt. It's all gonna be there because we live on emotions, our bodies are filled with emotions. It's learning how to take those emotions, identify what's happening, why it's happening, and then training your brain to handle the reaction to that differently. And that's when you shift your mindset, right? The real work begins with honesty within yourself, naming your fears, whether it's about that failure, judgment, stepping outside your comfort zone. And then once you call them out, you can start to understand what's driving them. That's the most important. For many of us, fear is rooted in old stories and self-limiting beliefs we've carried for years, right? Your parents telling you, oh, why did you do that? That's not good enough. People are gonna look at you funny, you're gonna do this, stop doing that. Like all of these things shape us, and we don't we don't realize the the words that we ingest and how our mind is such a computer and has processed that and the image it has given us ourselves of ourselves, right? It takes time and intention to reframe those beliefs and replace them with empowering ones, right? This work also includes setting boundaries, right? Saying no to what it doesn't serve you, and that I had to learn, and yes to opportunities that stretch you, right? Not investigating in your growth, investing, sorry, not investing in. Well, you can investigate your growth too, right? You know, whether you're training, reading, or simply surrounding yourself with people who are you and challenge you. I don't want an assayer in my life, I want somebody who say, Michelle, stop, stop your nonsense, right? No, you know, let's think about this. Have you thought about that? But also support me, right, in a good way, right? I've never really had that from the time I was young till now. I didn't have that person cheering me on. I didn't have, you know, somebody to say, go to school. I was the first to go to college in, you know, my initial family, and you know, going to law and then building a business. And I'm the first to do it all in my family. Like it's very difficult to be that because you fear that success, right? Ultimately, overcoming the fear is less eliminating it and more about moving forward with it, right? And use it as a fuel for action and change. Each time you do that hard work, you build the resilience and confidence and become a game changer, not just in business, but in every part of your life. If you don't like how you're parenting, if you don't like how your kids are turning out, you gotta start with you first because they're mimicking you, right? That's what I learned in my own relationship with my daughter, right? I couldn't fault her for her behaviors. I had to fault me for teaching her those behaviors, and then and then working with her to release the pain that I caused her, right? I caused her that pain, I caused her that self-doubt, I caused her whatever feelings. And although she has choices, and you know, we all have choices, and we all are intelligent enough to learn and take on, you know, outside worldly things, we still are shaped again by what we are shown, and that's very hard to break. People think it's easy, it's not, it's not, it takes a lot of looking in the mirror, and that's my book, right? You look in that mirror and you look at yourself and you cry until you can't cry no more until you understand who you are, and it's hard, but it inspired me to write my life story and put it out in the world, right? And I didn't do it for fame, I didn't do it for fortune, but to heal and release what held me back, right? Documenting that journey, I had to take and find solid ground to believe in myself, my faith, and live my best life. And that's what I'm trying to do, right? Day by day. I'm grateful for those hard lessons, right? I had to learn to appreciate myself and others around me. I didn't have that, I didn't have the I wasn't grateful. I was very successful, and it's so funny because so many people used to tell me that they're like, God, you got everything going on, blah, blah, blah. But you know what? I didn't feel it. I had no self-worth. It didn't do anything for me hearing the words, it didn't give me anything inside, right? You know, we don't know always how to rise above our thoughts. And you know, I love to talk, so tell me if I'm talking too much, but you know, we don't know how to rise above our thoughts that are in our heads, you know. We trap ourselves by overthinking. Life is what I've learned really not complicated when you have clarity of mind and you know who you are. Trusting in your self-built confidence, it allows you to live again, not just be alive. The goals you set out for yourself was a vision you once had and you wanted. Think back to when you were younger and you were doing something and you felt alive by it. Find that spirit within, like find that, find that again. And if you're so broken, it's okay. Lay it all down, but find the one thing that's gonna bring you that because it's important, right? There's no book that's gonna give you a concrete answer. There's nothing out there that's gonna give it to you. It's a journey and an experience that'll lead you there, and those experiences and journeys are gonna be ups and downs. But this is what life is about, and I think that's what I've learned in the 55 years that I'm alive. All right. Shut up the noise, stop criticizing yourself, stop being too harsh with yourself, don't give up. Remind yourself why you started this journey. Always remember where you came from and where you're going. Let go of the ego. I tell everybody who comes into a meeting me, check that ego out the door because I don't even want to hear it. Don't be afraid to be your authentic self and don't be afraid of what you don't know, right? I walk into a room, I embrace other people's opinion because there's a lot I I know only 20% of what I know, and I can teach that to others, but they know 20% that they can teach to me, right? But you know, try not to conform or sacrifice your principles, and I think that's the hardest thing. When we meet other people, we unconsciously just want to please them, right? We want to be friends, we want to enjoy their company, like it's just natural, right? We want to be trusting, we want to have that same respect, we want to hope that they're kind and giving, and you know, it's not a one-sided relationship. And but you know what? Those are your own expectations on those people, and when you set your own expectations, you're gonna be disappointed. And that's what I've learned. I don't have any expectations of anybody in me. Whoever they are, they're gonna show themselves, and it's up to me to choose whether I engage with them or I don't. Yeah, no, but it's true, yeah.

Parenting, Modeling Behavior, and Accountability

SPEAKER_00 17:59

And that's kind of I'll stop talking, but yeah, I feel like I just like no, but that was wonderful, and I think you touched on something so important. Um, because it's not just about getting to the abundance, it's not about getting that paycheck, it's not about getting the thing, the house, because it's just such a common theme on this show where people come on and they start telling me the story, and they're like, Nicole, I had it all. I had the job, I built my dream house, I was living in my dream place, and I hated it. I built something that I couldn't live in. It was not me, and it was just uh, and I had to I had to throw it all away and I had to rebuild because there's there's the the gratitude, and and that's what you had touched on is the gratitude because it's not just about making that thing. This is a whole nother point, but bringing it all together, right? It's not just about getting to the thing, it's about getting what you actually want, not just what the world tells you you should want. Number one, but then um number two is keeping it, right? Like if we make that check, when you make that first check, especially when you come from from scarcity, from fear, from not having, from not having, right? When you were a kid, it was always like, no, we can't afford that. No, put that back in the store. No, you can have a Snickers, you know, you can't have this, right? And so, and then we get that first big paycheck, and then it's gone. And you're like, wait a second, I had this much money. Where did it all go? And then you look at your bank account, you're like, oh shit, I spent that really, really fast. Like it just went out the door. What happened? Right. And so it's not just about making that money, it's about getting to the vibration, getting to the mindset where it's like, well, when I get that money, what am I gonna do with it? Am I just am I gonna go buy a jet ski? And then I'm gonna go to like this, you know, really expensive restaurant that's been on my bucket list. I'm just gonna go do the tour of Disney, like the most expensive. Like, I'm gonna stay in the castle in Disney. And then you're like, oh, I don't got nothing left now, right? Or are you gonna set yourself up? Are you gonna learn a little bit about money? How can I put this away? How can I make this money work for me? So I don't have to be in this rat race anymore. But that takes gratitude. That takes a level of understanding and a level of investing in yourself. Like you said, it might not be monetarily investing, but you got to learn. Because if you're if you're used to make, you know, a$20,000 year and you're you get to a hundred thousand dollar years, you've been praying for abundance. What are you gonna do with that? That's that's like you know, like you're like a kindergartner in 12th grade. What are you doing here? Like you have no foundation, you haven't learned anything, and now you think you're gonna pass the SATs, it's not gonna work. What do you think about that though? Like, you know, because I think we have a very similar thing.

Success Without Self-Worth

Gratitude, Goals, and Daily Clarity

SPEAKER_01 20:59

You hit on something that's so foundational, right? Like, tell me, I did a uh I was on a podcast not too long ago. I date money, and this woman, um Lisa, right, Drennan, she is building an awareness around our understanding of money. Money is so fundamental in everything we do, but as you stated, right, people have no idea how to manage it. People have no idea why they blow through that money because again, it's a deep seated um belief inside that they learned early on that they need to break that cycle. You need to understand it. It's easy for you and I to sit here and say, yeah, uh, you know, I got a five thousand dollar check yesterday from a client. What am I gonna do with it? I never thought, I didn't always think that way, you know, Nicole. I had to teach myself. I came from, like you said, listen, I came from a broken family. You know, I remember as a kid when we were six, seven years old, we lived in a motel, you know, back in the 70s. You know, you know, what that's back in the day. I've been listening, you know, and that's what I learned about money back then. So, like, you know, through my life, I had to learn. And thank God, you know, it it was not until later, until you know, I had my daughter. I really had to learn about money, being frugal, right? I was a single mom and managing the bills and the stress and living that flight or fight, and you know, where am I gonna get the next you know, dollar to buy diapers or whatever it was, right? And all of those things, again, they teach you, you know, but you gotta recognize it and acknowledge that you have a problem, right? It's just like any other problem. If you don't recognize you have a problem with how you handle money or anything else in your life, you're never gonna fix it. You're gonna live and continue to live the same patterns because that's what the universe does, right? The universe gives you those same lessons over and over and over and over. 19 years of marriage, over and over and over and over and over until you learn the lesson and you finally say, What the what am I doing?

SPEAKER_00 23:22

You know, and then you get to the next level, and then there's that lesson, but it's a new level of that lesson, and you're like, oh no.

SPEAKER_01 23:30

This is like when I figured it all out, right? But you know, at this point in my life, I start to look forward to that. I'm like, okay, what am I gonna learn next? I know I have to expand, I know I have to keep digging deeper.

Money Stories and Breaking Scarcity Cycles

SPEAKER_00 23:49

Well, we get to the point where we realize it's like a game, and when you get to that hard part, that's like the boss. That means, oh shit, I'm going to the next level. So I just gotta win this, I gotta beat this boss, you know, whatever it is, this big obstacle. But then that means that the next level's coming. And so, you know, this is a good thing. And so we we learn to associate it differently. Before it was catastrophic. Oh my God, I just got this money and now this huge thing happened. And then you get to the point where you're like, oh, I got this money and now this thing happened because that's kind of the way it does, but that's why I got this next deal coming in, you know. Um, but yeah, it's different when that$5,000 is the last three months of rent, and then you had to pay it, and now you need another five thousand dollars versus having, you know, setting up a system where every month you're getting five thousand dollars. And so it's not like, you know what I mean? Like it, there's different levels to it, right? And different levels to abundance. Um, one of the ways that I like to, an example that I like to use is with the laundry, right? Because when you first move out, you get your own place, you're in college, right? You start doing laundry, you do the laundry, and then that's it. Like it barely makes it out of the dryer, and it'll be weeks and weeks and weeks. And that's like level one of doing laundry. At least the clothes are clean. Maybe you know what, maybe that's level two already. The first level is like you just dig them out of the hamper and put them back on, right? If they're in the hamper. If they're even in the hamper, right? You're just going through all the clothes, but then you get to the point where you're washing them, right? And then you're like, whatever, at least the clothes are clean. But then you start get, you know, you start like getting to the next level. You you've got more things going on. You've got like this job, and you're like, you know what? No, the clothes need to be clean, but they also need to be folded, right? Because I need to be able to find them. And then they're folded, but they're like on the table, they're like all over the house, but at least they're folded and they're clean. And then you know, like you're really, you're really there, right? Like when I wash the clothes and then I dry them and then I fold them and then I put them in the drawer the same day, that's a cause for fucking celebration, man. Like, right. And but this is, I think this is what we're talking about here with the trust deposits, where you learn to do these things. Like, I don't put laundry away because I find it fun. It did not become fun for me from the time I was 18 till now. But I understand that it supports me in the other areas. If I do the laundry on Sunday, then the rest of the week I don't have to worry about where's my overcome yourself shirts. No, they're in the drawer, they're folded up, they're non-wrinkled, they're good, right? If I wash my hair on Sundays and Wednesdays, if I have like a certain day, then I don't have to worry about, oh my God, my hair is dirty. I have to do something with it. No, no, no. And so you learn these little habits, these little rules, these little things that you do, not because they're fun. Like you don't suddenly like doing the dishes. Like it didn't, you didn't have a revelation and you're like, this is orgasmic. I love doing my dishes. Like that doesn't happen. But it's the process of the abundance. I have an abundance of space in my kitchen. My counters are clean because I don't have to worry about, oh my God, there's a bunch of dishes. And I always like to be like, well, future me will be really grateful for this. You know, so like I wash the dishes and be like, future me, like when I get home, you know, from doing this thing, I'll be so glad that there's no dishes. And then when I get home and I see that there's no dishes, I'm like, Paz Nicole, you rock. Thank you for doing right. And then it sounds kind of silly when you say it out loud, but as you're going through your day, these are the things that reinforce the abundance, the gratitude, like exactly like you would talk to a four-year-old. You're teaching them about, you know, doing responsible things before we do fun things. What if you just talked to yourself the same morning? And like in these little tiny areas, we find abundance. Because if my clothes are clean, I have an abundance of clean clothes in my drawers that I can choose from, right? If the dishes are clean, I have an abundance of dishes. I don't have to be, where's my coffee cup? Oh no, they're all in the dishwasher. Where am I gonna? I've been there, right? But I don't have to do that. And so now there's abundance everywhere. And so I think it's so important to just look at abundance and see it for more than just what's in your wallet. Because we live in this beautiful planet on this beautiful planet, and you think about the abundance of stars. Like, have it like it scares me to think about how we're just like this little ball in space spinning around, and there's nothing else. That's scary, but there's an abundance of space out there, there's an abundance of stars, and the same stuff that's in the stars is in us. We are that, and that's abundance, and that's beautiful, and that's like breathtaking to think about. So I just like to focus on abundance in more than just how much money do I have in my wallet? So I have a million dollars because you might have a million dollars, but what does that do? You that doesn't mean you have a loving family or a warm home or a health, you know, health to to enjoy your life. Doesn't mean that you can go out in the sun. What if you're in jail, but you got a million dollars? Like you're in prison, you're locked away, but you got a million dollars somewhere.

Levels of Abundance: The Laundry Analogy

SPEAKER_01 29:14

Like, who cares? Wonder what, Nicole? It's funny that you say that, right? Like, if you ever really want to give yourself a reality check, and you know, I go down to New York City, you know, so often, right? But I'm down there for work or whatever. If you if you go into New York City in the height of the day and you pass people and you I love to watch people, you can see the reality check of none of them living in abundance whatsoever. They're just moving along. And you can see the pain, the sorrow, the struggles, the anxiety, the worry, like on a lot of people's faces. Sure, you know, not everybody's like that, right? There's millions of people in New York City, but it's a reality check for yourself. Like when I go down there, I look around and I say, God, this is beautiful. Like this, this is amazing. And I do that because there is so much to be offered out in life. Whether you're sitting on that beach and watching the ocean, watching a pelican pick up, you know, a fish, or you're on a boat, or you're in nature, or you're at the the dog shop, right? Like, you know, watching your dog get groomed. You gotta find those moments of just pure instance. And that's what I like to call them. Like a realization of this is what life is about. Like, you know, it's it's it is beautiful. And it's hard to believe in that beauty. Like, like you were saying, as simple as you were saying, doing your laundry, right? Having that structure, that routine, it gives you so much more than just having to do laundry. It's about okay, you know, I'm good here, right? I'm good, I'm in a good space. Like my life is good. This is what it's all about, right? Like, I have to do the dishes. I got my daughter to pick up at this time, I got my grandson to go see, like, whatever, you know. I got, you know, I got a podcast, I got like whatever it might be, right? So and you gotta appreciate those things. It's so hard though for us as people to appreciate. And again, it's something that you just kind of have to peel back those layers dig inside, you know, and and really start to find the wonder. I like to say we lost the wonder. You know, it's funny. I think the best teachers of all are children.

SPEAKER_00 31:49

Little babies, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:50

Yeah, children under maybe the age of five or you know, six, because you live vicariously through them. I have my grandson two and a half, and every time I'm with him, every moment, I look at the wonder in his eyes, and I giggle with him, I roll on the floor and I play with him. And you know, my daughter's like, stop making him do that. Like, she's so high strung. I'm like, he's a kid, he's a kid, not gonna. I'm like, grow up, I tell her. I said, Why don't you get down on the floor with us? He's a kid. Like they have to be reminded because they're so stressed out, everybody's so stressed out. No, you're creating that stress. Don't forget to look in his little eyes and see the glory and how much he loves you, right? Like, and you know, she takes a minute, you know. I sometimes I have to give her that reality check, right? Yeah, we all need it, yeah. We all need it, and kids will do that for you, they'll call you out in your nonsense, you know, you gotta love them for that. Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_00 32:53

My grandson they will call you out if they're honest, right? Like if the if a little kid is like, you look really fat, like it's not like a woman that it like is she just jealous, not like a man, does he just want to get with me? Like a little kid is just like, no, you're fat, and you're like, Oh fuck, that's the truth. Like you're just honest, like there's no volunteer about it.

Seeing Abundance Everywhere

SPEAKER_01 33:11

But that's okay. You want to know why it's okay. You can never shun a kid for being that you know what, okay. You know, honey, that's not nice to say, like, you know, you want to coach him. Obviously, you don't want him to have a filter going through life because that can be dangerous, especially in today's world. But you know, you gotta be unfiltered too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I I've always said again, I'll say it once, I'll say it again, be your authentic self. That's it. Show up, and you know what? Trust in how you show up, trust your value, and that trust will fit in and find a way to the outcome that you're looking for.

SPEAKER_00 33:46

I love it, yeah. And in my book, that I I do mention something like that because um one of the things that you know, one of the things I'm like, practice gratitude, like go start by writing down three things every day. Like, that's just the beginning. Um, but I say encourage, like involve your kids. I can only imagine the amazing things that kids could come up with. Like, oh, I'm so grateful that that guy didn't hit us today. And you're like, what? Like, yeah, when you were driving, there was a guy and he came up to us and you didn't even see him, but he was like, ah, he didn't hit us, and you're like, oh my God, you know, or whatever. Like, there's there's little things that they'll see. I'm so grateful that you just yell at me today, and you're like, What do you mean? And you're like, Well, you've been yelling at me every day, and today you didn't. And there's like these self-reflection things. I'm just making random things up, you know. But it could be little things like that that they help us see. And so I love that um, you know, bringing kids into it because they do they, you know, that that childlike wonder, like exactly what Jesus tells us to have, like just have that childlike wonder because it's the first time they see all these things, you know, the first time they see a cat, and they're like, Oh, is that a dog? And you're like, No, that's a cat, there's a whole different animal. Let me show you. Here's the whiskers, you know, and then they see a zebra, and they're like, Oh my god, it has stripes, and like you and I are so used to seeing it that we don't look at it, and then you look at it and you're like, Oh my god, it does have stripes, like they're all striped. Like, how does that happen? And you forget how beautiful things really are, right?

SPEAKER_01 35:10

Like, and that just goes to what we're saying here, right? Like, you can see a zebra a million times, but then you see it and you realize, God, that's a beautiful animal, right? Like, or you know, you go to the zoo the sunset.

SPEAKER_00 35:27

We can all see the sunset.

Wonder, Kids, and Presence

SPEAKER_01 35:28

We can all see oh god, I love sunsets. I mean, like you can see my background, I'm a big beach fan, right? Like, I could sit on the beach from eight o'clock in the morning till ten o'clock at night. Give me a barn fire, I'm done. Like, I don't even care. I don't I don't want to go anywhere, you know. But it's just because it brings you to a place of solitude, which is very important. Solitude, people are afraid of being alone, and that's why they attach themselves to others, and that's necessarily in a good way, right? Um, but you're afraid of being alone with yourself because you don't know who you are. And when I sit in solitude, I think of wonderful things. Like I try to, you know, I go through the I am, right? I am resilient, I am good, I am loving, I am kind, right? Like I do all of these different exercises, and you know, energetically, you're putting that out in the world, like you said, the universe, the stars. We are we're all part of everything, right? Um, and it takes a long time to have that level of awareness, if you would. Um, but again, that's by doing the work, digging in deep. And you know, every now and then, you know, I get a little crazy, right? Like we all fall back, we'll all have those moments, we'll all go to bed at night and say it was rough today. But you wake up tomorrow and it's a new day, and it really is a new day. And if you can embrace that new day with a different mindset, and you know, I like the fact that you tell everybody write down those three things that you're grateful for, but you gotta keep it visually, right? You gotta make it a routine, just like doing your laundry. That is the tough part. That is a tough part for most people to be consistent, especially when they figured out some part of their life and they think they got it, just like you and I were talking about, and then all of a sudden it happens all over again, right? Right, right. So, because we all know that it's gonna happen again. It's a matter of when and what it what the next phase is, right?

SPEAKER_00 37:44

Maybe it's a loss of somebody, maybe it's a loss of a job, maybe it's a loss of you know, I don't know, money, whatever it might be that you could grieve a a season, you could grieve a part of yourself that isn't anymore, you know. I hurt my back and I had to grieve all the stuff that I'm I know I can't do. I can't go like jet skiing because my back, you know, like randomly, you know, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 38:09

But you're so right, you know, and that's what this is, you know. I'm so glad we had this conversation today because, like, you know, and I hope whoever listens to this, take from it what you want, right? Like, but if you take anything, love yourself first. I'll always tell you that. I'm gonna repeat it, repeat it, repeat it. Go look in that mirror and say, I love myself. And if you could do that, you won part of the battle. Right, you know, our minds are a battlefield, right? We're walking minds through it.

Solitude, Affirmations, and Consistency

SPEAKER_00 38:44

You dodge it. Yeah, and lend it out. And to add to that, um, what could be really fun too? What helped me a lot was I'm so grateful for something. So picking something out of yourself. I'm so grateful. Oh, my hair is so long. I'm so grateful. It's so pretty. Like, I'm you know, and not not focusing on the things you don't like because we're really good at that, right? But like when you look at yourself and you criticize, oh I'm fat, but you know what? My hair looks great. Oh, I'm this my hair, you know, this is greasy. Oh, but my nails look really nice. Oh, but you're standing really tall today. Oh, but your eyes look really bright. Oh, but you're smiling, oh, but you brush your teeth, whatever it is. Um, always finding something. So I love you. I love, you know, like looking in the mirror and be like, I love you, that person in the mirror. And you know what? I'm grateful for this for my resilience, for you know, my skin, that I go get tan, you know, I go to the beach and then it gets tan, and then it's still healthy, you know, like there's so many different little things that that we have. But yeah, now um, as we're wrapping up, I want to know very important, how can the audience stay in touch with you?

SPEAKER_01 39:56

Yeah, so there's several ways to get in touch with me, um, Nicole. So you can look me up, Michelle Novak on LinkedIn. Um, I am on Facebook, I'm on alignable, a pod match, inch the connector, YouTube. I can keep going on, right? Um, for my business, right? Any small businesses or anybody needing any cybersecurity help, they can contact me directly at cyberinfo at cardinalsbytes.com. Um the phone number is 800-759-1342. They can also visit my website. And also I do training at cpaacademy.org uh for CPA's accountants, all uh offering CPE credit for continuous education and cybersecurity. Certainly contact me there if you need me. Um, and then you know, on my podcast, there's a lot of ways to get in touch with me. And then Kindle, you're interested. I have several books. Um, and I also did a series on traveling solo. Um, but again, it's about a self-journey, right? When you're traveling, the things that you experience, right? And how to uh find yourself in those journeys. So um, but again, those are the best ways to reach me. Um, but I thank everybody. I mean, I thank you most importantly today. I appreciate you. Right.

SPEAKER_00 41:10

I appreciate you too. Thank you for being here. Yes, there, you did it. Um, that is awesome. And I was gonna say, oh, all those links will be available down in the show notes wherever you're listening. Um, all right, and then we close off with a final tip. So, based on everything we talked about today, like the biggest, juiciest tip, whatever your clients pay you for, and they're like, This was this is worth all my money that I just paid you in gold.

SPEAKER_01 41:39

So a tip, right? I'm gonna say it's more than just overcoming obstacles, it's about being a true game changer in yourself. Use tough love, encourage yourself, and that'll empower you, I think, to build resilience and lead yourself with confidence. That's my tip. Don't be afraid to ask for help. That is the most important. People are afraid to let others know they're suffering. Never be afraid.

SPEAKER_00 42:25

Yes, that's that's important. Um, especially when when we get depressed, we're like, oh, I don't want to bother them.

SPEAKER_01 42:32

That's right.

SPEAKER_00 42:33

So, yeah, that is a big deal.

SPEAKER_01 42:36

That's my tip. Reach out. You can reach out, meme, if you want to chat.

SPEAKER_00 42:42

Yep, we're here for you. Thank you. Thank you so much, Michelle. That was absolutely amazing. This whole episode has been fantastic, and thank you guys for joining us. We will catch you next time on the next episode of Overcome Yourself the Podcast. Bye. Bye everyone.