Midlife, Rewired with Dr. Sue McCreadie

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:01

Hello there and welcome back to the next episode of Overcome Yourself the Podcast. As you know, my name is Nicole, and I'm so excited to be here today with Dr. Sue. And now, Dr.

Meet Dr. Sue And Her Journey

SPEAKER_01 0:12

Sue worked as a doctor, but she semi-retired, just set everything back, and she was like, let's do this the right way. And you started working with women. You help women through, I don't know. You know what? I'm gonna stop butchering it. I'm gonna go ahead and let you take it away, Sue. So, Dr. Sue, please take it away. Um, let us know a little bit about who you are and who you help.

SPEAKER_00 0:40

Oh, thank you, Nicole. Well, thank you for having me. Yes, I um well, let me just start with who I am. I'm Dr. Sue. I am McCready. I am a woman in my midlife. So I'm 53 at the time of this recording, and I do help women in their 40s, 50s, and 60s. My very first um entrepreneurial journey, though, is as a pediatric physician. So I am a um medical doctor and do have a pediatric practice that I specialize in helping kids heal naturally through nutrition. And um, through that practice, actually, the mothers were like, How can you help me, Dr. Sue? What can you do for me? Right. And so I really started off a journey of figuring out how I can serve them in a way that feels good for me, feels good for them, and is for the greater good. And that took some time, turns out, about 15 years. And um, after several different, I probably did four different entrepreneurial journeys in terms of helping women and their children. I actually just kind of gave up, to be honest, and just put it down and said, you know what, God, I'm just not really sure how to do this gig. So I've just kind of finished out the pediatric gig. And um, yeah, I mean, that's still of great service in the world. And within a few weeks, maybe a few months, you know, another breadcrumb came in through my email. And I just kind of followed it, like followed my heart, followed, like this is interesting. Then next thing you know, I'm in, you know, a three-day workshop that turns into a year-long mentoring program. And and I had been into personal development my entire life, since my

From Pediatrics To Serving Midlife Women

SPEAKER_00 2:20

teens, really, and you know, majored in psychology, always been loved and fascinated by human behavior, thought I wanted to be a psychiatrist until I saw what that was in medicine, decided I do love children. That is my big heart. I love children. And so now I feel like I'm like the practical psychologist, right? So, really using all the tools that I've learned all along the way and helping women, what do I help them with? Basically, through this transition, transition of midlife 40s, 50s, and 60s, where I think of it, Nicole, like a second adolescence. Like, I don't know how your adolescent felt, but mine felt like super stretchy and uncomfy. Like I didn't always feel comfy in my body because of all the hormonal changes, right? That translated into some interesting emotional roller coasters at times, right? My identity, you know, in adolescence, you're figuring out your identity, like who am I? What am I to do with this world? You often navigating relationships, maybe intimate relationships for the first time. You know, so there's a lot of similarities with midlife where relationships are changing, even with your kids. You know, they're grown, they're young adults. Relationships can be changing in terms of your intimate relationship. Maybe one's ending, another's beginning. Maybe finally you're you're deciding to have a conscious uncoupling after your kids leave. Like all these changes. Identity is a big one. Like used to be this, and now you're not anymore that. Maybe you're retired and you're like, who am I? Or who am I if I'm not a mom with kids at my house? So a lot of identity relationship,

Midlife As A Second Adolescence

SPEAKER_00 3:58

hormonal, like physiological feelings happening.

SPEAKER_01 4:04

Yes, absolutely. I talk about that in my book. I'm like, if your identity is tied to one thing that you're doing, what happens when that thing ends? Because things come in season. So if you're like the mom and then your kids are not in school anymore, and so you don't get to be the classroom mom, you're like, what happened? Um, yeah, and so it's so important to, I think, even think about these transitions before we get to them, right? And some of these transitions we don't have time to prepare for. Like if someone passes away or we get fired from a job, like there's so many things that could happen. But one of the things that stood out to me that you said, um, you know, when we were setting up our interview, where you talked about the healing of the emotions, the emotional wounds, and that that transformation can't happen without that. Can you talk to me a little bit about that? Because I feel like those two things are really tied together.

SPEAKER_00 5:00

So emotional healing, I feel like when you my understanding of what my experiences is that, and I've even heard therapists and psychologists say this is that a lot of the current life problems are actually from unresolved childhood conflicts or um, as we say, traumas, right? And traumas are basically less about what happened and more about the state of your nervous system when it happened. So something that could be a big trauma to someone could be a little trauma to another person. Basically, a lot of our current life behaviors and habits and therefore results are driven by this subconscious thoughts and feelings and rules and beliefs that we picked up in order to survive and be loved in childhood. And some things really worked for us, right? But it's kind of like trying to use an old outdated, you know, phone. Like remember, you know, uh when phones like the first mobile phones were like these big like suitcases, you know, it'd be like trying to use that right now instead of you know our technology today. And so we're using these outdated rules and belief systems and trying to function in today's world. And the thing is, is we don't even know that we're using that rule book, if you make sense. So it's always to me about getting underneath the surface of what you're consciously thinking or even feeling in the moment, and getting underneath the surface of what is that driven from, right? So sometimes, like how you do emotional healing, you can take it all at the conscious level. Like if someone's feeling,

Identity Shifts And Relationship Changes

SPEAKER_00 6:54

and I love playing this game, like I can even play it with you, Nicole, right now. Like, think of a time where you know you felt joy or peace or happiness or any of those feelings that we love feeling, right? And and when I'm in a in a session, like I'll have you close your eyes and have music on and do it, but you can even like can you take yourself back to that moment in time of a time where you felt just overwhelming joy, overwhelming happiness? You don't have to share what that moment is, but like, are you there? Can you think of that moment in time? Yeah. And in that moment in time, like, what were you doing with your body? Were you jumping up and down? Were you like, wow, were you hugging someone? Were you at peace and like resting still? Like, what were you doing with your body?

SPEAKER_01 7:41

A moment that I go back to a lot is like holding my grandpa's hand when we were like in a theme park or something, but just the safety of his hand and having him guide me, you know?

SPEAKER_00 7:54

I love that. Okay, beautiful. And in that moment, um can you think about like and maybe you were so young, but you can think about like, do you think in that moment were you focused on what you do have or what you don't have? What you do have, yeah, and were you focused on what um maybe in that moment what um what's going right or what's going wrong?

SPEAKER_01 8:20

What's going right?

SPEAKER_00 8:21

Yeah. And are you thinking about the past or worried about the future, or are you are you in the present moment? In the moment. Yeah, in the moment. And so often during these times you can also think about like what you might have been saying to yourself, like, wow, I love grandpa, or like this feels so good. Like you're often saying things, the language that you're using at the time is life is great. This is amazing, I feel good, right? All the great things that we love to hear. And the combination of like what you're focused on, what the meaning, like the language that you're saying to yourself, and what you're doing with your body shoots out an emotion, right? So you can think about that. Like now we could all go to a time where life didn't feel so great. Like I can think of that when well, there's many times I could go back to, but probably one of the ones that I share a lot is just when I was suffering from multiple miscarriages and I was suffering. Like that was the emotion. It was like emotional suffering because what was I focused on? What I don't have, what I can't control, what's not going right. And I was worried about the future, right? Like, am I gonna get this baby that I want? Right. And the meaning I was creating was like, who am I if I'm not a mom? You know, this sucks. Like, why is God doing this to me? And the my body would always be like in one of those kind of depressed, like hunched over, you know, head down, like a very depressed state. And that shout out depression, sadness, grief, overwhelm. Not that any emotion is there's nothing wrong with any emotion. To me, there's just like a message behind it. Like, what's the message? And so I always like to share that kind of exercise because we we control, we create our emotions. Like sometimes when we're emotional, we think it's just happening to us, right? But if you just take a pause, and I do this all the time, I'll be like, Sue, are you focused on what you can control or what you can't control? Like I'll catch it every time. Am I focused on what's going right or what's wrong? Am I focused on what I already have or what's missing, you know? And immediately you can start, you know, shifting after you have a good chuckle at catching yourself again, like I do. It's like, okay, how can I shift this? And one of the fastest ways to shift your emotion

Emotional Healing And Childhood Patterns

SPEAKER_00 10:48

is through your physiology, through your body, right? And so you think about Nicole like as a kid, you know, skipping down the street, jumping up and down. These emotions, like I've I don't know, you probably could, but generally when I start skipping, I started laughing exactly because I'm 53. And my skip is not so gracious anymore. But I do it, you know, I do these funny, like physiological things. One of the things I do is like throw up my arms and be like, what's great about this? Right. Because you want to, you know, or I I often say, like, I'm sculpting my soul. So it just is like shifting what I'm focusing on, the meaning I'm creating, my physiology. So I create an emotion that does feel good, if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_01 11:37

Yes, no, yeah, it it really does. And um, I work with a movement specialist, and so one of the things that she's taught me is like even just your hand placement. So, like if you if you start off with your hands open and then you put your hands down, you're sitting up straight. But if you start with your hands like this and you put your arms down, your natural inclination is to go down. So, exactly what you're talking about with the physiology, with your hands palms up, and you're naturally upstraiter. And so, like little shifts like that in your body can help you create different, you know, different things inside of your body, right? Um, like one of the things I talk about is happiness being it's a chemical reaction that happens in your brain. Something happens and you get a chemical and you're like, oh, I'm happy. And so one of the one of the things that I had to do is have a talk with myself. And I was like, Nicole, it is physically, mathematically impossible to be happy all the time. But you can live in joy, you can live in a joyful perspective. And it ties into what you're talking about because that's related to your body. I've been in the miscarriage. My the beginning of my book, the the like I didn't think that you know I'd ever share that, but now the beginning of my book is the story of the day that that happened and where I was in my head. I remember looking out a window and I remember exactly what you're talking about, your postures and your sad. Um, and so making little changes just like that, like shifting your palms up and then even to drive when you're driving, shifting up and then like that, because my back really used to hurt. Um, and she helped me with that, right? And then bringing it back to bringing yourself to the present, to pointing out what's great in the situation. What I do, what I learned to do was gratitude, practicing gratitude. How can I be grateful for anything, anything at all? And I learned that in the miscarriage because I was like, I just do I even want to live was the question, right? Like to put it in a nice way. Like, do I even want to keep going? And I and I made a deal with myself and I said, if you're gonna live, you're gonna do it joyfully. You're gonna enjoy the process. Like, I don't want to drag myself through that. I don't want, you know, 80 more years of just dragging myself. This sucks. I don't want that. No. Um, and so these tiny little shifts, exactly what you're talking about. By the way, I also had a vitamin deficiency that led to a lot of depression and anxiety symptoms. And so getting that since you're a doctor, then you know you could add right. Um,

Rewriting The Old Rule Book

SPEAKER_01 14:22

because it's incredible. Like I take the vitamin and within a week, my whole brain is different. Like, I don't feel like my thoughts are attacking me anymore. I realized the last time it happened to me, like, oh my god, it's like a it's like a virus because it's like your brain, and then these thoughts are just coming at you and you can't think anything else. And I was like, oh my God, it's like a mental virus. And I took my vitamin and poof, those thoughts were able to calm down, like they weren't attacking me anymore. And so you can focus on gratitude, you can focus on joy, you can focus on actually enjoying the moments of happiness. Because if you're in the future, if you're in the past, how are you gonna enjoy the right now? You're not you're not there, you're not present. So the happiness isn't happening because you're somewhere else, right? Um it's so it's very complex and it sounds very woo-woo, um, but it all comes back together and it's it's just very scientific, very evidence-based. Like we know that gratitude. Talk to me about gratitude, you're a doctor. Like, talk to me about the importance of because I was doing research and I found that gratitude, people that practice gratitude experience less pain, they heal faster.

SPEAKER_00 15:40

Oh my gosh, yeah. I mean, there's a lot of science behind it, you know, and um, and really it makes a lot of sense, right? Like, if you're kind of just go back to the example of like based on the focus and what you're saying to yourself, like when we're in these disempowering emotions like frustration, overwhelm, sadness, grief, we're we're kind of like shit stacking rather than gratitude. We're just like piling crap on top of crap, on top of crap, and top of crap. And then we just feel crappy, like it's not rocket science, you know? But when you focus on what's working, what's already present, what's already here, what you already have, right? Then it's like you're stacking, like it almost feels like you're stacking love on top of love, on top of love, on top of love. And naturally we're a loving state, like that is our natural frequency or way of being is loving. And that's why when we're not in those states, it feels so crappy. We try to get back as fast as possible to a loving state because that is our natural loving state. And so to me, like gratitude is just a way to like expand your loving state, right? Um, and so again, to me, one of the fastest ways to get back to gratitude is using my physiology. So, like doing breath, I do breath work, meditation, get up and go for a walk, focus on the like the little bunnies that I pass, like anything sort of shift my focus. I love little bunnies. I like, hi, like I start talking to them like little babies, you know. They're the horrible. And you just start having a conversation. Um, it really like shifts your focus, right? Gives you space and grace. And physiology is a great way to do that. Sometimes we just get so stuck in our head that moving your body and movement, either breath or anything to get your body moving really allows that space and grace to start kind of like loosening it up so you can shift.

SPEAKER_01 17:38

I mean,

The Joy Exercise And State Shifts

SPEAKER_01 17:39

we're energy, right? Like everything that happens between our brain and everything. And so if we're all stuck, that energy can't flow, right? And so it just makes sense that moving around, that stretching, that doing like simple, simple changes, right? Um, you know, like the the stacking. I also one of my clients does um laughter yoga, and so she practices just laughing, right? And just out of out of like out of, you know, like the deep, deep darkness of your soul, you know, like that diaphragm, like that deep laugh. And she just practices doing that like out of nowhere, right? Um, so even little little things like that, because it really is all about our perspective, you know. Like I shared with you that my my mom died when I was one and a half. So I had to learn this lesson when I was very young. You know, but what do I have? Because that's the only thing I can focus on. Um, you know, and then that's what the gratitude comes back to. That's what making sure you're in your body, because people who are neurodivergent, um, an experience that I've shared with people and they're like, I get it, um, is feeling like you're here, but like your life is somewhere over there, and you don't, and it doesn't make sense. Like it's not, and you're like, I don't know what it is. Um, and so bringing those two sides together, making sure that you're here, you're in the present, you're not in the past, you're not in the future, you're here. So moving your body, practicing gratitude, focusing on where I am right now, like all of those things are so important.

SPEAKER_00 19:09

Um, and then the other thing I would yes, the other thing I would add to that, Nicole, is like talking about uh emotional healing, which is how we started, like emotions are energy, like e motion is energy in motion. So the whole point of emotion is to move through the emotion, and that's where a lot of us, you know, didn't do that. We just like stuff it down. All of us have been through that point where we're like, I've got to cry, and then you're just like, oh no, I can't do that right now. Like it's so a lot of a lot of emotional healing is also just taking the space and grace to actually feel the emotion. And a lot of like I talk to women and they're like doesn't sound very great. I'm like, it's all like it's only not great if you make it wrong, right? Like if you actually look at the benefit of it. And the thing is is that it usually only lasts like 90 seconds. Like, if you ever try to like cry your eyes out, like there's an end. Like, even if it's like about, and then like the next day you like cry some more. It's like there is an end to it, like there is a bottom. And so just allowing yourself to get to the bottom so you could like express it all and also ask, like, what is the message? I always love asking that too. Like, what's the message that you know this frustration is trying to bring me right now? Just ask the question, you know, get curious. Is it asking you to slow down? Is it asking you to lower your expectations? Or like when we get angry, is it asking you like what rule just got crossed? Right? Like, what are you pissed off about? Like, did someone break a rule? What is that rule? Did you, by the way, did you let them know that you had that rule, or did you just assume they knew your rule? Did you even know you had that rule? Right? Like it allows you to get really curious with the emotion and learn its message so that moving forward, you can change your perspective and then like change your procedure, right? Do something different next time.

SPEAKER_01 21:15

And if you do find that you cry every single day or more days than you don't, then you have to be honest with your doctor. And that's coming from me because that's what I had to do, and I had to say, yo, literally every day I'm crying and I don't know why. But every doctor's appointment I've gone to, I hadn't said that. And then finally I was honest and I was like, this is going on. And immediately they're like blood work, and that's exactly what it was. Like she knew immediately as soon as I told her. And so I encourage you if you cry, cry, cry, and then you feel like there is no bottom, you might need to talk to your doctor and you can get help because it's not your fault. Um, and you might not need like you know, crazy levels of all kinds of medication, it could be something as simple as a vitamin. That could really change your life. So I just want to encourage people, um, you know, talk to your doctor, be honest, and get the help that you need, right? Um, yes, I love it. So you mentioned that you had a gift for the audience. So can you tell us a little bit about that, please?

SPEAKER_00 22:17

Yes, it is a personality quiz. I mean, you can

Physiology First: Posture And Emotion

SPEAKER_00 22:20

take it any time of life, it's targeted for women in their 40s, 50s, and 60s, but men have taken my quiz. Um, and it's the the point is that really a lot of personal and self-development, it starts with you. It starts with understanding your gifts, your unique gifts. And I think a lot of us, we just neglect our gifts. Like we just think everybody has that gift, but in reality, they don't necessarily. And so, through learning your gifts and also your unique challenges that can come with the gift, then that's really where you can, you know, move forward. So, like, I'll just share like the personality gift that I fit into. Like, there's four personality types. I'm an inspirational type. And so I love being the positive force. I love the silver lining and everything, right? I love everything. Shiny objects are really exciting to me. The downfall is if I follow everyone, right? Then I get scattered and I'm not moving forward. Um, so each personality, there's the visionary, the inspirational, the detail, and the giver mama. They have their beautiful gifts and also their opportunities for growth, right? So for me, it's really about focus, like focus. So you can stay in slow and move forward. Um, so yeah, I encourage people to start there. It's super fun. It's only 11 questions, take you like less than two minutes. And um, yeah, you learn what your personality type and how to move forward.

SPEAKER_01 23:47

That is amazing. I definitely would like to take that. It sounds like I might be the same um personality type as you. Yeah. So I gotta go see a visionary or the inspirational, because I have been told I'm too, you're too positive, Nicole. Like everything you turn into for good. And I'm like, I don't, I don't mean to be annoying about it. Like, I don't believe in toxic positive positivity, but you know, when you practice gratitude, when you learn to really focus and be like, what can I be grateful? What's the tiniest little thing? Uh, you know, even if it's just the oxygen particles that are in the perfect combination so that we can breathe, even if it's just that, if that's the only thing, you know, a ray of sunshine, a blade of grass, whatever it is, but getting it down to the focus. So I love that so much. Now, how can we stay in touch with you?

SPEAKER_00 24:39

Yes, beautiful. So, you best way to reach me is through my website, dr Sue McCready.com, where you can also take the quiz.

SPEAKER_01 24:46

Yes. And all of those links are gonna be available down in the show notes and social media. How do we follow you on social media?

SPEAKER_00 24:53

Yes, the same. All of them are like backslash Dr. Sue McCready. So on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:01

Okay, awesome. All right, so like I said, every all of the links are gonna be available down in the show notes. Now, Dr. Sue, when we like to leave off on the episodes with a final big tip, like what is the best tip, you know, like the advice that you give your clients that you're like this was worth a hundred thousand dollars that I paid you.

SPEAKER_00 25:23

Yes, I would say it's asking a better question. And the question is, what would love do? So I've often been told for my clients and my kids, um, that I go back to this question time and time again. Because when you're going through a challenging uh situation, you're not sure how to navigate it. One of the best things you can do is just ask a better question and ask, like, what would love do? Because, like I said, our natural loving state, like our natural way of being, is loving. And so by asking that question, you're activating that part of you that's loving. And love always knows the way, right? Love always knows what to say and what not to say. You know, sometimes when you ask what love would do, is love would say, you know, go have some fun. You know, sometimes love would say, go have a rest. Sometimes love would say, set a boundary. That's not

Joy Versus Happiness And Presence

SPEAKER_00 26:18

okay, right? So love could say a lot of different things, but you get to ask first what love would do in this moment, and then you'll get your answer.

SPEAKER_01 26:28

I love that so much. And that's in my book as well. Like, so I I love it because you know, I feel like I'm hitting the nail on the head. But you know, you have if you want better answers, you gotta ask better questions. Um, and so I think that is a great question to start off with. What would love to? Um, I love it. Thank you so much. This has been so amazing. No, thank you. This has been wonderful. Um, yes, amazing. So we'll catch you guys next week on the next episode of Overcome Yourself the Podcast. Thanks again.