Break Up With Your Inner Narcissist with Emma Lyons

We challenge the idea of “healthy shame” and argue that shame is learned cultural programming that keeps us controlled and disconnected from ourselves. We share a concrete way to spot the shame voice, stop engaging with it, and reclaim your power with empathy and grounded action.
• Shame as self-erasure and a mechanism of control rather than a normal human emotion 
• Why the shaming inner voice acts like an “inner narcissist” and why sending it love can feed it 
• Western individualised shame versus collectivist accountability based on actions 
• The link between shame spirals and self-gaslighting, imposter syndrome, perfectionism and addiction 
• Why shame gets confused with guilt, humility and empathy, and how shame shuts empathy down 
• The BREAK method: break the trance, refuse to engage, expose the lie, anchor the truth, kick it out 
• Dysfunctional family roles like golden child and scapegoat, and how scapegoating repeats in adult life and society 
Five Signs That It’s Time to Break Up with Your Inner Narcissist: tinyurl.com/not today narc

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:01

Hello there, everyone, and welcome back to the next episode of Overcome Yourself the Podcast. As you know, my name is Nicole, and I'm so excited to be here today with Emma. Now, Emma

Welcome And Guest Introduction

SPEAKER_01 0:12

does something that is very important. Um, I talk about all the time how Dr. Brene Brown talks about how the world is starving for joy, starving for gratitude. And we know she's a shame researcher. And so I'm so excited to have Emma here because she also deals with shame and with a lot of other things, imposter syndrome. So let's just jump into it before I butcher Emma. I would love for you to take it away and give us a quick intro and let us know a little bit more about who you are and who you help.

SPEAKER_00 0:46

Hey Nicole, thank you so much for having me on the podcast. And I love the way you've spoken about Brene Brown. I mean, what I what I do, it's I help people really disconnect from shame. And a little bit different from Brene Brown, what I've

Shame As Control And Self Erasure

SPEAKER_00 1:03

realized through my work is that shame, it's not a natural thing. It's uh it's it has it's not something that you see in all societies and cultures. It's kind of an implant from narcissistic empires, and it's always about control. So, what I say it's kind of against the conventional wisdom, which talks about this thing called, you know, healthy shame. What I'm saying is that no shame is healthy because shame is basically self-erasure, it's this belief that there's something wrong with me, that I'm defective, particularly in the Western world, this individualized sense of shame, which is what researchers generally talk about because it's very Eurocentric. But in the East, they have a different idea of shame. And what I do is I work with people to really break up with that shaming voice, which I've named the inner narcissist, because it is, it ticks every single box of the narcissist, and yet we're told by everyone, by therapists, by the conventional wisdom to sit down with this thing, to take it for tea, to take it for therapy, you know, to try to send it love. And it's more like a parasite. It's it's like a narcissist, I'm telling you. It gaslights you, it shames you, it love bombs you. It ticks all the boxes of a narcissist. And this thing, when it gets really malignant, it tells you that you might as well not be here. Without this voice, people would never take that action. People would not, people would not commit suicide. So this this this voice is really it's really dangerous. And we're the the thing that I realized is like this disconnect. We're told with narcissists out there in the world, we're told to you know cut them off, don't engage. Yeah, with this voice inside our head that's exactly the same that we carry around with us, that we've internalized, we're told to take it to therapy and send it love. And I believe that's completely the wrong approach because it just feeds the thing, it provides it with narcissistic supply and just grows and gets stronger.

SPEAKER_01 3:05

That's powerful. That is like really eye-opening and very powerful. So tell us more. Like, what do we do? So we we realize that there's a narcissist up there talking back to us, um, but we can't cut it off in the traditional sense, right? So, how do we how do we say enough? This I'm done with this.

SPEAKER_00 3:26

Well, just like that, we've been we've all been performing for that thing and trying to therapise

Why Befriending Shame Backfires

SPEAKER_00 3:32

it and send it love for 20, 30, 40, 50, 60 years, because that's what we've been told to do. But and I did that for a long time. I was like, oh, this poor thing, oh, it's a wounded child, oh, just send it some love or perform, perform for it. Like it says, you can't get up on that stage, you can't sing that song, you can't get on that podcast. Who do you think you are? And we're told, we're gaslit culturally, we're told that this voice, the voice that sabotages you and tells you that you can't do a thing, we're told that it's a wounded part. That's not a wounded part, that's a narcissist. That's it's never, and this is the thing, this is the thing, right? So a narcissist punches you in the face and tells you you're stupid, and then tells you, oh, I'm doing that for your own good. That's not for your own good, it's for it's for its own good, it's for the other. And this narcissist that we've internalized is exactly the same. It tells you you can't get up on that stage, you can't do that thing, you're stupid. It's to keep it alive, it's not about protection or preservation. And this is what we're told by conventional wisdom, even you know, by people like Brene Brown, and also this idea that shame is normal, this normalization of shame, particularly in Western culture, and this individualized form of shame that's really comes from Christian culture, this idea of original sin, this idea that you're a sinner and you have to forgive. Like just think of that for a second. That is a double bind that you can never get out of. You're a sinner and you have to forgive. Uh, you that's there's no escaping that. And that's the foundation for our culture.

Western Shame Versus Collectivist Shame

SPEAKER_00 5:08

So this is why Therapist and Conventional Wisdom talks about shame as being normal, but it's not, it's absolutely not because before Christianity, I come from Ireland, and before the Catholic Church came to Ireland, there it was more tribal, and they did have a form of shame, but it was not this, I'm stupid, I'm ugly, I'm terrible. You know, it wasn't this form of I'm bad, that that's what Brene Brown and everyone, when they talk about shame, they really focus on that form of shame because that's what we we look at in the West. But they had a different type of shame, which was more kind of collectivist shame, which is what we see in Eastern cultures as well. This idea that if you step outside what's culturally acceptable, then you're shaming the tribe, you're shaming the so you're shamed for that. And it's more about shaming you for your actions for something that you've done rather than who you are. So it's very, very different to what we deem, what we term shame in the Western culture. And this idea of internalized shame, it's entirely fabricated. And who benefits the system, the narcissistic system? Because when we internalize this shaming voice, we keep ourselves nice and controlled. No, but we don't need an external jailer. We internalize the jailer and we jail ourselves. We keep ourselves locked within that. And the system of therapy and the conventional wisdom keeps us, ensures that ensures that jail, that prison remains, because we're told to become comfortable with this thing rather than to open the freaking door and step outside the cage of shame. We're told that shame is normal. Um, even Brene Brown talks about you need a little bit of shame. If you don't have shame, then you're a psychopath. It's even reinforced in our language. Just if you just think about it for a second, you have no shame, Nicole. That's an insult. That's an insult. You're shameless, you're shameful. You know, these are all insults. It doesn't mean that you're if you're shameless, when people say that to others, they're not saying that that person is free of shame. What's actually happening most of the time is that that person is acting out of repressed shame. It's not shame that they've pushed down. And this is the this is what they've decided. Well, this is what a you know, theorists and therapists talk about even narcissism. This again, it's repressed shame. They have so much shame that they don't want to deal with it, and they put this is why they become narcissists. It's a way to cope with that because shame, it's indigestible, it's not something, it's not a normal emotion like fear or anger. Fear, it tells it has a positive side to it. It tells us there's danger over there. If we get angry, it's telling us that you know there's somebody has crossed a boundary and we need to draw

Shame Has No Upside

SPEAKER_00 7:55

a line there. But shame, it has no upside. And when theorists and writers and therapists talk about the upside of shame, they they conflate it with other things, they conflate it with humility, they conflate it with guilt, also. Um, guilt, like recognizing Brene Brown, for example, talks about you need shame to kind of recognize when you've done something bad. And that's not shame, that's empathy. And shame actually shuts down our ability to empathize. So with all of these people are talking from inside the shame, in this cage of shame. Even someone like even someone like John Bradshaw, who wrote that amazing book, The Shame That Binds You, he he talks about toxic shame and healthy shame. What I say, and this is the huge blind spot of our culture, is that there is no such thing as healthy shame. All shame is toxic and unnatural. And it's always, always used as a way to control people. If you look at when you shame a child, if there's a child here and they're talking and I shame them to shut them up, I might pretend to myself I'm doing that to keep to help them, but no, really, I'm doing that for my own comfort. That's not about the child. And if you if you're really honest with yourself, that's always the same with shame. When we utilize shame, it's a weapon and it's always to control other people, it's always for the comfort of the person doing the shaming. And just the fact that it's been normalized, this is why we internalize it and it becomes, you know, a process that we use against ourselves. So this is what I do, it's something that we can't change. It's not something that's innate to the human condition. Animals don't experience shame. We don't need shame, we need empathy. And those two are on opposite scales of what's of their complete opposites.

SPEAKER_01 9:46

That's you're just like really opening up my mind. You're making really really good points, right? Um, very interesting. So tell me more because I know you know, one of the things that happened to me in one of my coaching sessions, I I don't even remember what

Catching A Shame Spiral In Real Time

SPEAKER_01 10:08

I was talking about, but my coach straight up said, Why are you gaslighting yourself? Um, yeah, and so I caught myself in the process of like a shame spiral where I was, I don't, I really don't remember what we were talking about, but I was doing something and I was like, Oh, I didn't do anything. And then my my coach is like, you're gaslighting yourself. Look at all of these things that you did, and you're claiming you didn't. That's a lie. That's like literally changing what happened. Um, so can you tell me how, you know, what tips do you have for catching yourself in these moments? Um, and how do we make it go away? Like, how do we stop that from happening?

SPEAKER_00 10:52

Well, the thing is, for how many years you've been alive, 20, 30, 40, 50 years, you've been this thing has been running rampant. So, and and the first thing that you've really got to recognize is that shame is not useful. That's the first thing. And culturally, we're gaslit to believe that shame is useful. And if you look at the facts, if you look at the facts, that's not true. Shame leads to suicide, shame leads to minimization, shame leads to shrinking, shame tells you that you're not enough and you should disappear. So, but culturally, we're told we need a bit of shame in order to be a good person. Recognize that that is cultural, that is that is empire BS, you know, that's all about and women have been scapegoated culturally. So we're women were collectively carrying another dose of shame, you know. If you were scapegoat, if you were the scapegoat, if you played the role of the scapegoat in a dysfunctional family growing up or narcissistic family, you carry another layer of shame that can really run deep. So, first thing is to recognize that this shame runs really deep in our culture and it's totally normalized. So it's normal that you've adopted it as a we we we adopt it as a kind of shield, you know, because the reason why we take we start shaming ourselves or we internalize that voice is that we think as a child, if I just shame myself first, then it won't hurt so much when other people shame me. So this is why we do it. And like like you were saying, you got it got that voice, it's it ticks every box of a narcissist, it gaslights you, it shames you, puts you down, it can puff you up and say, Oh my god, you're so great, and then it'll shame you the next minute. Moves the goalpost, you know. It says, Okay, once you get there, then you'll be good enough. Oh, that's still not good enough. You've got to get to the next thing. You know, every single thing that a narcissist does, it's grandiose, it's controlling. It takes all the boxes. The first thing is to really recognize that that voice is not you, it's not a wounded child, it's not a wounded part, it's a parasite. You know, it's a parasite that we've taken on from culture, for empire, from patriarchy, and it's a mechanism of control that we have adopted because it's so normalized. Shame is so normalized in our culture. So that really is the most important thing. Recognize that it's not you. Stop referring to this voice as you. That voice, it's a narcissist. You know, what do you do with the narcissist? You don't send love to the narcissist and you know, take it to therapy and sit down, have cucumber sandwiches, pretend you can sort it out. But this is what we're told to do with this with this narcissist that we've internalized. So the first thing is really that's really important. Recognize that it's not you, that it's not useful. We're we're we're also gaslit, we're told, and this is everywhere, in both men and women, we're kind of taught that shaming is good to move you to motivate you, and shaming actually does the opposite. And it's even used in coaching, people shaming, because it looks very impressive. If I shame someone, they start acting differently very often. Um, and it looks like I've been very effective, but it's always, always toxic. So recognize that this is a trance, a cultural trance that we're under. So, first you first thing that you've got to do, I've got an acronym, break, B-R-E-A-K, right? So, first thing is break the trance. Recognize that this voice is not you, that it's not trying to help you, that it's not trying to keep you safe. That's total that these are lies that were

The BREAK Method To Stop Shame

SPEAKER_00 14:25

told culturally. It's a pattern, it's a trance, it's a spell that we're under. And you don't negotiate with the spell, you don't perform with it, you just interrupt it. You don't recognize that this is uh this is a spell that you're under and naming it automatically disrupts disrupts the loop. So the problem is when we think that it's you, that it's me, oh my god, we get into this whole mess, recognize that it's not you, break that trance, right? Then you go on to R. You've got to refuse to engage. And this is another thing, like I said, we're told to sit down and send love to this thing and treat it like a wounded child. But with narcissists out there in the world, we're told deep. Dr. Ramani has this acronym deep for dealing with narcissists. You don't argue with the trance, you don't argue with the narcissist, you don't defend, you don't engage, you don't explain, and you don't personalize. You just say, not today, not today, it's not happening, not today, bitch. No way. This is you don't owe it any courtesy, you don't, it doesn't, it hasn't been, it's not your friend. It's not your friend, it's not your protector. Stop that. It's a narcissist, right? So don't engage with it because that just gives it what's called narcissistic supply. Then we go on to E. E is expose the lie. So you've got to call out the shame-based programming. So if that thing is saying or making you feel, oh my god, my body is so ugly, I've got a big nose, whatever the BS that it's spouting, you've got to call out that this is shame-based programming, and this is all about control. This is inherited, it's not your shame. And speaking that truth actually disarms it. And then we go on to A, which is anchor the truth in your body because shame, it's like a full-on hijack of your body, your soul. I just wrote about that recently on Substack. It's not like it's much more potent than any other emotion. So you've got to come back into your body, start feeling your breath, plant your feet on the ground, say your name and the year, and really remind your nervous system because it is in your nervous system. I'm safe, I'm sovereign, I'm here. And then finally, okay, kick it out. You can shake, you can stomp it out. Recognize this is not mine, and and just you can cut it off. You have the power. It's like a parasite, you know, it's it has nothing, it's like a ghost in a shell, like a light bulb. It has no power unless you give it narcissistic supply. Excuse me. So, this really is the key point. You have all the power here, but the narcissist that we've internalized makes you feel like you have no power when actually you have all the power here, and it's just like a parasite sucking it. And if you have a parasite in your intestines, we don't send it love or take it to therapy. Oh, poor baby. No, we don't do that. So, why do we do it with this parasite that we've internalized from a toxic society? It just makes no sense, and again, it's because this this we live in a narcissistic world where narcissists, narcissistic systems, and structures and shame is everywhere, it's normalized. And this is the reason why there are narcissists everywhere, narcissist presidents, narcissists that because we're worshiping this narcissism and we're culturally primed to do this. So this isn't your fault, but you can take your power back, and it's gonna change from the grassroots, it's not gonna come from the top down. The people at the top, the narcissists that are benefiting from all this, the 1%, whatever you want to call it, they're they're not gonna change it. But you can disconnect from this system by removing this narcissist that you've internalized and stepping out of the jail that's been constructed and that you've internalized inside yourself.

SPEAKER_01 18:20

This is so powerful and also so important. Um, I read the confidence code and it talked about they they did research on women

Shame Links To Imposter Syndrome

SPEAKER_01 18:31

in all kinds of positions, like even like a general in the military. Um and they're dealing with imposter syndrome at these levels. Like, this is not this is not just something that happens to, you know, like the everyday working woman. Like this, this is deeply affecting even even some of the most powerful women that they're like, I don't even know how I got here. And the researchers are like, look at your track record, like you're you're amazing. Like, what do you mean? Look at all the amazing things you've done. Um, and so I think this is such a big part of it where we allow that voice to just take over and it's running the show, and it is a liar. Um, and I think that the way that you put it, how it's a parasite, um it makes me think of like, you know, like your inner child, right? But then that inner child has a little parasite, and so you think you're talking to your inner child and it's the parasite and you're just speaking to, right? And so that's such a good, um, that's such a good imagery, right? Because once you clean that up, maybe then you can actually communicate with that inner child. And that inner child, when you think about, you know, before growing up, before all this stuff, you're right. Shame wasn't one of the emotions that we feel as a child. That's something that's put on us, you know, like, oh, don't take off your pants. Oh, don't touch that. Oh, you you don't talk like that. Oh, don't do, you know, don't talk to those people. Oh, like you shouldn't, you know, do this thing. Like, you gotta be nice, you gotta share, you gotta do this. And then that shame is thrust upon you. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 20:10

Um, researchers talk about how babies feel shame, but this again is projection, you know, babies hiding and stuff like that. This is not shame, but when researchers see that, shame again is so normalized that we we imagine that's what that is. Children are taught to shame or to experience shame. If we look back at historically, you know, cultures that weren't hierarchical, they didn't have that shame. The shame comes when we have the hierarchical narcissistic systems, and it is always about control. In our culture, this individualized shame, need to hide, there's something wrong with you. It's so normalized, and it's the root of pretty much all the dysfunction that we see. Shame is really, you can you can trace it. You're talking about imposter syndrome, talk about perfectionism, all kinds of self-sabotage. This is shame in disguise. People, some people say um that it's fear in disguise, but actually it's shame. Shame is a toxic cocktail of a bunch of different emotions, and this is why it's not a normal emotion. It's fear, it's disgust, it's self-loathing, it's uh, you know, shrinkage. I don't want to be here. It's not a normal emotion. It has zero upside, yet we are gas-lit culturally to believe that it does. And it's absolutely not true. We I'm I'm all about it, and this is why my program is called Reclaim Your Shameless, because shame, what shame every other word that ends in L E S S in the English language, it means you're free of that thing. You know, even homeless, you have no home. So, but when we call someone shameless, they're actually full of shame. Or also when we see someone who's being fully alive and authentic, oh, they're so shameless. But that again is my projection because their authenticity, and that's really rare, is making me uncomfortable. But nine times out of ten, when we call someone shameless, they're acting out of oppressed shame. Like some Who's drunk and taken off their clothes or something? That's repressed shame. And we all carry it. This is why people get addicted to drugs and alcohol. It is shame. Shame is the shame is binding our culture. And you know, we're talking I could talk about family systems. This is where it all starts. And I write

Family Roles And The Scapegoat

SPEAKER_00 22:20

about this in my writing, but uh in our family systems, there's they're in dysfunctional families, and most families, 70 to 80 percent, are dysfunctional. So you have somebody is assigned that scapegoat role in these dysfunctional or narcissistic families, and basically they become the toilet, the landville for all the unprocessed shame and generational trauma that nobody else wants to deal with. So this is why scapegoats go on to suffer in silence, you know, become addicts, become, you know, bulimic or anorexic or you know, something else, you know, or just end up going to therapy because they can't cope with all that shame.

SPEAKER_01 23:00

And can you give me an example of what that means? Like the family scapegoat for the listeners who might not um know what that what that is, like they might be thinking, is that me? So can you tell us a little bit about that? Okay.

SPEAKER_00 23:14

So with within dysfunctional or narcissistic families, and like I said, most families are dysfunctional. So though you'll probably recognize this, you have somebody who's kind of a favorite. This is the golden child. So this is the person that could do no wrong, this is the good girl, the good boy. And again, it's it's a role that they're playing. So while it's like not so not as difficult as the scapegoat role, they never get to be themselves, really. They never get to be authentic. They're still playing this role to keep the family looking nice, and they never really find out who they are. You also have other roles within dysfunctional families, like uh the black sheep are the scapegoat. And this person, it's usually uh the most sensitive child in the family, the one who can kind of see what's going on and see that it's not normal the way things are happening, and they get labeled, they get scapegoated. It's often always conscious. They can't, they can overtly be told you're you're useless, you're stupid, it's your fault, they can't be blamed like that, or it can be you know very much energetic. They become kind of the exile, the lost child of the family. That's another role in dysfunctional families. You basically get ignored um because you're you're irrelevant, and your role is to really carry the collective trauma of the family that nobody else wants to deal with. So that's why I talk about as kind of being the landville of um of family dysfunction. And it's a very, very tough load because it's shame, intergenerational shame and trauma that you're carrying. And this is why people can't function. And if you look at most families, you can find particularly those two roles, you can see them going on either, you know, very obviously or a bit more subtle, and it leaves a very potent mark. You have other roles like hero, you know, this person who has to fix everything. That's another role that people play in dysfunctional families. The fixer, I have to fix everything, the child who's parentified, who basically becomes the parent. These are all dysfunctional results of dysfunctional family systems. And then people go out in the world, and guess what? Those systems, the the it doesn't stop when you turn 18. You go out in the world, and if you were the scapegoat in your family, you kind of imprint that. And the people who are scapegoated, they often go on to but go into workplaces where they're scapegoated, you know, or uh you you also see this collectively, you know, um in in countries now. You have the scape, you have the golden child, you know, the the ideal people, oh, white the white people, the elites or whatever, they're the golden children. And then you have the scapegoats currently in a lot of countries, it's the immigrants. The immigrants are the ones, and what they do, the golden child and the rest of society project all their collective shame from all the bad things that we've done collectively as a culture, you know, the genocide, all of these things, we project it on the immigrants because shame is very indigestible. It's not a normal emotion that we process and get to something else underneath shame. And this is why when people say, sit down with your shame, feel your shame. I have a huge problem with that because shame, it's not like rage, it's not like uh grief. You don't feel it and get to something else, it's a bottomless pit of shame. You process the shame, you feel the shame, you get more shame. Then you get another dose of it. You are feeding this thing, so we've got to stop feeding it and actually cut it off, cut off its power. So I hope that that kind of explains it. But scapegoating patterns internally, everywhere, it's like fractals, you know, it's everywhere in our culture. You see it in international systems as well. So this dysfunction is worldwide, and uh we can cut it off internally, each one of us first, because God knows it's not gonna change from the top down. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 27:16

And I was gonna say that just leads perfectly into the gift you have, doesn't it? Like, don't you have something that's specifically to help with this, what we're talking about?

SPEAKER_00 27:26

Yeah,

Scapegoating In Society And Culture

SPEAKER_00 27:27

absolutely. I have an amazing free gift for people. So if you're listening here and think, wow, um, I think I've got this thing going on, this narcissist that I've internalized. I have the perfect gift for you. It's called Five Signs That It's Time to Break Up with Your Inner Narcissist. So it gives you five classic signs that this thing is running your life and that it's time to break up with it. And it also gives you tools and strategies to start doing that. And you can find it at tinyurl.com forward slash not today narc. Not today narc n a r c as in narcissist because it's an inner narcissist. So that's the first step. If you if you recognizing the check, definitely check that out. Or you know, follow me. I would love to hear if this this resonated with you. Reach out to me on socials, you know. I'm at trauma.matrix everywhere.

SPEAKER_01 28:16

Amazing. Thank you so much. I was gonna ask you how we can stay in touch. And as always, all of her links are gonna be available down in the show notes. Now, before we sign off, um, final tip what's like the biggest takeaway, your biggest aha moment.

SPEAKER_00 28:33

Um well, the biggest thing is to realize that this shame voice, this it's not just a voice, it's like because shame it's not just a voice, it's like an energy that takes over your body. It's not you, it's a parasite. It's uh it's it has no power. It's a narcissist. Stop calling it you. That's it. Recognize that this voice, when it talks to you, the this the shame that comes to you, it's not you, it's not you saying to yourself that you can't be on that podcast. You can't start that podcast. You can't do that. That's not you, that's not your protector. It has no power unless you give it power, and you've been giving it your power for 40, 50, whatever to however long you've been alive, and that's not your fault. That's because we've been culturally programmed to do it. So you have the power to cut that off. So take that, take that step, make that decision because shame is not normal, shame is not natural, shame has been normalized in Western culture, and we want to take back our power by reclaiming you're shameless, and you have the power to do that.

SPEAKER_01 29:40

I love that so much. Um, do the opposite of what that voice says. You can't be on that podcast. I'm gonna go on three podcasts. You can't get on the stage, I'm gonna apply for three stages, right? Um, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's really interesting. That's such a great tip. Like this episode has all been absolutely amazing. Um, uncovering shame, past getting past that. Um, especially for us as women. And when you were talking about the scapegoat, I was like, that sounds like the recovering gifted kid, older oldest sister dynamic, right? Like the oldest sister that's in charge of all the other siblings. And so I think um a lot of us might have that as the oldest sister, as the smart one, you know, as the recovering gifted kid doing the advanced classes. Everything gets put on us because you're so smart. You're supposed to be watching them, you're supposed to know, you're supposed to do this. Um, and so I think my audience is really going to relate to this. Um, and so let us know down in the comments um if it does. And thank you for being here with us today. And we'll catch

Free Gift And Closing Takeaways

SPEAKER_01 30:47

you guys next time on the next episode of Overcome Yourself. See you next time. Bye.